Tell me about "Cutting", please...

Page 1 of 3 [ 36 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,897
Location: Stendec

02 May 2011, 12:03 am

The daughter of some friends of mine is about 13 years old, and apparently has been 'cutting' herself for a few months. Well, this weekend, she cut herself badly enough that she couldn't hide it, and her parents rushed her to the hospital, where she'll stay "under observation" for at least a week.

I do not understand 'cutting'.

If you have ever done it. would you please tell me what motivated you to start, why you continued to do it (if you didn't stop right away), and what finally made you stop (if you have stopped).

I need to understand, so please keep your comments helpful and informative. Use the PM button if you want; I will honor confidentiality.

Thank you.


_________________
 
The previous signature line has been cancelled.


Peko
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,381
Location: Eastern PA, USA

02 May 2011, 12:13 am

I've never cut but I have a few friends from high school who did. "Cutting" is when a person cuts themselves purposefully, usually on the wrists or legs. From what I can tell, it is done as some kind of emotional pain reliever.


_________________
Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.


John_Browning
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,456
Location: The shooting range

02 May 2011, 12:40 am

I'd really like to talk to you about my experiences and reasons for cutting, but it's a touchy subject right now. I learned to quit while I was in the hospital 4.5 years ago (in addition to depression one giant cut on my arm was the final straw that prompted my psychiatrist to refer me there). I wouldn't have been impossible to fashion something to cut with but I really did want to make the effort to quit. Hopefully your friend's daughter will do the same. Last of all, not only will she need counseling, but she will need to find peers dealing with the same thing to talk to with a facilitator present (or the discussion can rapidly become counterproductive). Personally, I treat it as an addiction and that has helped me greatly.


_________________
"Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars."
- Unknown

"A fear of weapons is a sign of ret*d sexual and emotional maturity."
-Sigmund Freud


AS_mom
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2010
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 139
Location: Kelowna, Canada

02 May 2011, 12:43 am

I don't know I am still trying to understand it myself. In my experience of it, I caught my daughter 12 after she had slashed across the back of her hand with the blade side of a pair of scissors. She has many issues and part of what was going on for her at that moment was self loathing coupled with an overwhelming desire for her body not to change i.e. become a woman. She has other diagnosis too but amongst them OCD. She felt so bad about her body image that inflicting pain appeared to be a way for her to punish herself for the bad person she sometimes views herself as. However I believe from other things I have read and saw in documentaries that the cutting also becomes a form of 'control' over oneself, i.e. "I can control THIS even if I cannot control anything else in my life", it is I believe much like eating disorders in that respect and I had been told that she may end up suffering with one of those because of some earlier traits, but I was not expecting the cutting.

I have talked to my daughter and so far there has been no further incidence although I am watching closely. We will be at her psychiarist this week and I will be bringing it up to get her views and concerns as I'm pretty freaked out and don't see that it will go away, the more her body changes, the less she will accept it would be my concern at the minute.

If I find out anything else, our appointment is Wednesday morning, I will repost to this thread again. I hope your friend can get sufficient help for their daughter. We are restricted on decent help in this area so I'm thinking of asking for a referral into one of the larger cities here.



LP0rc
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 114

02 May 2011, 12:50 am

I knew a cutter. She told me a bit about her reasons, but I didn't quite get it. But then one day had an experience that gave me an epiphany about cutting.

When you are emotionally hurt, frustrated, angry, and in despair, an injury like a cut is a wonderful relief. It is physical pain "on the outside" that can be coped with, and is far preferable to the emotional pain "on the inside" with which you cannot cope. It is almost like you are letting the hurt out from the inside, or replacing a portion of the emotional pain with physical pain. Perhaps the physical pain gets the physical response to dull pain that the emotional pain does not.

Cutting can be as addictive as any other method we use to dull pain.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

02 May 2011, 1:15 am

I have done it before.
In my case, it was because I thought I was a useless sack of sh*t and deserved the pain. Nowdays i just punch myself and pinch myself as "punishment" for thinking or doing certain things but that is more OCD than self loathing.

I now realise it's not my bodys fault for what my mind does or thinks. It just does its best for me.



katzefrau
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,835
Location: emerald city

02 May 2011, 1:19 am

LP0rc has explained it well from my point of view.

i have not done it in about 18 years. i felt very trapped in myself when i was a teenager. it was like popping a giant bubble of grief that i could not communicate.


_________________
Now a penguin may look very strange in a living room, but a living room looks very strange to a penguin.


Peko
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,381
Location: Eastern PA, USA

02 May 2011, 8:37 am

Pain + Pain = numbness/relief


_________________
Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.


starryeyedvoyager
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 942
Location: Berlin, Germany

02 May 2011, 9:40 am

Only known two "cutters", both had more issues than I ever will. One with outright narcistic and so focused on being different from the norm that he did almost anything to stand out. The other one had the whole package: depression, low self-esteem, chainsmoker (like seriously two packs a day), imense unsolved childhood issues with his parents who where too overprotective, and on top of that, he was also both arrogant and an a low-profile attention whore (if that makes any sense). He didnt do it too often, but used it as a conversational topic on parties in order to fish for empathy. Don't claim that all are like that, I never enjoyed hurting myself or anything, allthough I always got quite fascinated about the sight of my own blood.



SyphonFilter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2011
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 2,161
Location: The intersection of Inkopolis’ Plaza & Square where the Turf Wars lie.

02 May 2011, 11:05 am

LP0rc sums it up nicely.



CoalBogey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 839

02 May 2011, 12:01 pm

I know nothing about it other than the accounts I've read on WP. I remember someone (an ex-cutter) said that the body releases endorphins when it heals itself, so from a purely physiological(?) angle maybe that's also part of the reason some people do it.



John_Browning
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,456
Location: The shooting range

03 May 2011, 5:55 am

I once had to cauterize a cut I made to avoid going to the ER and risk getting held for a 72 hour evaluation. It hurt like hell, yet at the same time I felt a huge [non-sexual] rush from it.


_________________
"Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars."
- Unknown

"A fear of weapons is a sign of ret*d sexual and emotional maturity."
-Sigmund Freud


draelynn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,304
Location: SE Pennsylvania

03 May 2011, 10:05 am

Just a warning. Many times, cutters are easily triggered... just talking about it can bring back the urge very strongly even in those who have stopped for years.

It is an impaired method of emotional management. Some do it for the endorphin rush, some for the feeling of control. When people feel out of control of their emotions, having the control of causing themselves pain, and subduing whatever emotions they are dealing with, feels like the ultimate control.

I cut briefly as a teenager. I knew a long time cutter. In my case, I simply didn't have the internal tools to deal with emotions. In my friends case, he suffered from horrifying child abuse. He feels he will always be a cutter even when he's not practicing it. He triggers very easily and is always on guard for relapse. For me, cutting was partially sensory too. My pain reactions are all kinds of screwed up. I used to enjoy it, not because of the endorphins - I don't think I ever got that rush - but the pain of it wasn't as painful as others have described to me. It hurt but the pain was enjoyable. Now, knowing about AS, that makes some sort of sense to me.



TheKing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,100
Location: Merced, California

03 May 2011, 1:05 pm

Fnord wrote:
The daughter of some friends of mine is about 13 years old, and apparently has been 'cutting' herself for a few months. Well, this weekend, she cut herself badly enough that she couldn't hide it, and her parents rushed her to the hospital, where she'll stay "under observation" for at least a week.

I do not understand 'cutting'.

If you have ever done it. would you please tell me what motivated you to start, why you continued to do it (if you didn't stop right away), and what finally made you stop (if you have stopped).

I need to understand, so please keep your comments helpful and informative. Use the PM button if you want; I will honor confidentiality.

Thank you.


first of all, i need to get this out in the open I LOVE YOUR SIGNATURE!! !! !! !! !

second, i used to cut in middle school, not for attentioon or anything but back then before i became a pacifist i was bullied a lot and i was a very angry child i had serious anger issues and even then i hated causing harm to people and i learned at 1 that self harm can get rid of my anger, between 1-3 when i would get mad i would hit my head on the concrete until i bled(my mom never realized i was different from other kids until i was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome in 7th grade) but anyway i cut because it would alleviate my anger at the kids who picked on me

i stopped when my mom threatened to institutionalize me the FIRST time she found out

then after i just over time started becoming more and more of a pacifist until i became how i am now - very submissive and very nonconfrontational

back in the day when i was bullied a lot i tried fighting back unsuccessfully but now i dont and i dont even get bullied anymore


_________________
WP Strident Atheist
If you believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, have accepted him as your lord and savior, and are 100% proud of it, put this in your sig.


katzefrau
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,835
Location: emerald city

03 May 2011, 9:51 pm

draelynn wrote:
Just a warning. Many times, cutters are easily triggered... just talking about it can bring back the urge very strongly even in those who have stopped for years.


no concern in my case of ever doing it again.

i had no idea why i was doing it at the time. i didn't even realize i was feeling emotion.


_________________
Now a penguin may look very strange in a living room, but a living room looks very strange to a penguin.


ssjgoku
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 29 Dec 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 42
Location: Dagenham Essex

03 May 2011, 10:08 pm

i did it so i could feel some sort of other pain rather than emotional.Still have a few scars left on my arm.Came close to my wrists once .Almost wish i had of cut into erm now