I'm sick of my mom friends.

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So I removed them and requested a deletion of my mom site account.

I can't really pin-point the exact reason I want all my mom friends to go away, but I do know their friendship with me seems so shallow. I'm done with shallow connections. I just... can't take it anymore.

The mom site is going away because everything seems so harsh there. Moms calling each other names and putting them down for s**t that doesn't even matter. I used to find it kind of funny, and in a strange way fascinating.

Meh...

Sorry if this sounds dumb, but what kind of "mom site"?

Cafemom.com

The site itself isn't bad. I'm just not in the right place for it or my mom friends.

May I do a bit of guessing here?!

You are a committed mom, and likely a good one, and you felt (or possibly assumed you would have) a certain "kinship", of sorts, with other moms there ...

... and at first, their name-calling and put-downs of each other just kind of went on past you while you were waiting for more of a bit of kinship-friendship only moms could actually have, and without having to always be a "mommy" (at least not to them) at the same time. In other words, you were looking for an occasional bit of "comic relief" only moms could share, or even an occasional moment or two of "escape" within a group of fellow moms who would/should/could easily understand and not feel neglected (offended) if/when you suddenly found you had to jump up and go get some first-aid soap and a Band-Aid for a wounded child.


They are people who just do not have the will and ability to care much about just being a friend.

I think you're pretty close. I wasn't looking so much for people to connect with. Just people I could learn from... then I found a few debate groups in there and thought I had made friends... though not anything like what I've been craving lately. Just moms I could disagree with without them getting offended. Moms I could joke with (though I was mostly a by-stander when it came to the jokes) without them freaking out.

In essence, a mommy group without the social anxiety of going out to a face-to-face group.

Lately, it's been pretty obvious that most are two-faced. Not only that, I have to be a dedicated poster for them to even respond to anything I say.

I should clarify I was on this site for 4 and a half years. Basically a month after my oldest was born is when I first registered. For a long time these shallow connections were enough because I had no desire for anything deeper. Now I do, and I just want them to go away.

Also, I didn't get rid of absolutely all the friends I made there. There were a couple that proved not to be two-faced. One on that site even directed me to this one... she's still there.

Ah, yes, I had missed that.


Well then, not all has been lost and maybe still more will develop now that you have pared things down a bit.

If you wish, tell your children "Papa Joe" says they have a great mom!

It's only been a few hours since doing all of this, but I'm already feeling somewhat better.

I did delete some RL friends from my FB, too. They were initially there because I couldn't connect with them any other way, but they just sat there gathering dust. No point in having someone like that on my facebook.

Were they being serious with the putdowns or just kind of making fun of each other?

Last edited by Greatsharkbite on 26 May 2011, 11:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sometimes they were serious, other times not.

Many online forums seems to support a kind of toxic atmosphere with convoluted group dynamics. Quitting can be the best thing you've ever done. From time to time I have found myself participating in negative forums that would leave me feeling angry or stressed out. Then I got the brilliant idea of unplugging my computer. It was empowering.

Yeah, sounds like the type of environment i'd be uncomfortable in myself. I try to distance myself from people who seem shallow.

Sadly, my experience with women in general has been like that. I think it would be kind of cool to have some other women to talk to once in a while, but most women have been so nasty to me. Two-faced, judgemental, catty, sometimes just outright mean. I usually get along with other women who get along better with guys, but even then my aspieness usually puts them off. Are there any sites for aspie moms(moms that have aspergers themselves, not just their kids)?

You did a good thing

I cleansed my Facebook in a similar way, a few months ago. I went from having 200+ "friends" to 38 people I genuinely care about.

There's a group or two on CM like that. It was a pretty good group, I think. It's probably the only thing I'll miss about the site.

I would probably end up with less than 38 if I narrowed it down that far. I left my party friends and a few I met online that are super nerdy but I don't really connect with.

They aren't mom friends, though.