A stranger saved me tonight.

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tangomike
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03 Jun 2011, 3:26 am

earlier tonight I stood atop a mountain, on the edge of the cliff crying over everything. I was spending time thinking one last time before I jumped. I lost two of my best friends as well as 4 close friends have died in rapid succession out of nowhere...one died in a skateboarding accident, another fell off an overpass onto a highway, another died in the ocean, another killed herself, another was killed in action in Iraqi Freedom and another had a heart attack. most of them happened between this April and May......My family kicked me out and cut me off cus they can't deal with my Borderline Personality Disorder drama (and when they did school tuition vanished), i cant pay next months rent, i have credit card debt, having trouble finding a job, i cant afford medication or therapy or anything....and the girl I loved committed suicide last month. i have nothing left. I lost my friends, my love, my family wants nothing to do with me (my mom told me if I wanted to die so badly I should go die deep in a forest so I dont trouble anybody in the process), financial troubles....

As i stood there staring down the cliff wondering if it was going to hurt a lot....someone said softly, 'dont do it". I turned around to find a very pretty girl around my age standing on a ledge not to far behind me. It is a pretty well known place for local college kids to hike and such....but it was midnight on a Thursday and I picked a remote area not close to where most people use so i have no idea why she was there by herself........ This girl told me how she had once tried to kill herself when her parents died in a car accident, her boyfriend left her and she got fired from her job all in the same week. She spoke of how much sadness it caused all her friends and remaining family when she tried.....I didnt really think about that aspect too much before that. She also made good points like that I will have to wander the earth forever as a ghost cus i died with such strong emotions of sadness and unfufilled life....and i dont want that. She talked me through everything. We sat there for an half and hour, then she squeezed my hands tightly, gave me a smile and walked off into the brush. I sat there for another hour or so before whispering 'Thank you' into the darkness....i dont know if that girl was an angel, or a real person or a ghost.....but she saved my life.



Lene
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03 Jun 2011, 4:24 am

Quote:
..and the girl I loved committed suicide last month.


Not the girl you showed us in the picture (with the racist grandad)? 8O I'm really sorry to hear you've lost so many friends recently.

Glad to hear you're alive anyway; that stranger was a lifesaver.
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My family kicked me out and cut me off cus they can't deal with my Borderline Personality Disorder drama (and when they did school tuition vanished), i cant pay next months rent, i have credit card debt, having trouble finding a job, i cant afford medication or therapy or anything.


When you're feeling stronger, these things can probably all be dealt with. You can contact your family and try to mend bridges, ring up the credit card company and explain (they can sometimes be human) and you may be able to work something out with your land lord. You'll get through this.



TB
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03 Jun 2011, 4:44 am

That is so unreal, the ''coincidence'' of running into someone like that at midnight in a remote area. I will not try to say any kind words because i fail at those. Just know that i am reading your posts.



tangomike
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03 Jun 2011, 4:53 am

Lene wrote:
Quote:
..and the girl I loved committed suicide last month.


Not the girl you showed us in the picture (with the racist grandad)? 8O I'm really sorry to hear you've lost so many friends recently.

Glad to hear you're alive anyway; that stranger was a lifesaver.
Quote:
My family kicked me out and cut me off cus they can't deal with my Borderline Personality Disorder drama (and when they did school tuition vanished), i cant pay next months rent, i have credit card debt, having trouble finding a job, i cant afford medication or therapy or anything.


When you're feeling stronger, these things can probably all be dealt with. You can contact your family and try to mend bridges, ring up the credit card company and explain (they can sometimes be human) and you may be able to work something out with your land lord. You'll get through this.


i should have been more clear, A girl i loved. you can love more than one person... I really liked her as a friend and wasnt willing to express my feelings cus it might ahve destroyed our friendship. Plus I started dating Rachel (the one with the racist grandpa) last year so I couldnt exactly publicly reveal my feelings for the girl who committed suicide/



Dantac
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03 Jun 2011, 12:08 pm

Seems you have a guardian angel there man. Hope you got her contact info. Sounds like a good friend in the making.



puddingmouse
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03 Jun 2011, 4:20 pm

My goodness, I am so glad you're still here!

I don't know what to say. I have every belief that you'll make it through this, though.


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CockneyRebel
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03 Jun 2011, 11:47 pm

I'm glad you're still alive.


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pezar
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04 Jun 2011, 10:37 am

Maybe it was the ghost of somebody who jumped from that cliff a long time ago, and she/it decided to stop you. Did you notice if her clothes and hairstyle were slightly out of date? A ghost will still be wearing the same clothes that they did when they died. Suicide jump off points have a lot of ghosts wandering around, all the people who killed themselves are usually still there.



leejosepho
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04 Jun 2011, 10:55 am

tangomike wrote:
....someone said softly, 'dont do it". I turned around to find a very pretty girl around my age standing on a ledge not to far behind me ...

She talked me through everything. We sat there for an half and hour, then she squeezed my hands tightly, gave me a smile and walked off into the brush. I sat there for another hour or so before whispering 'Thank you' into the darkness....i dont know if that girl was an angel, or a real person or a ghost.....but she saved my life.

Never forget her. You might never again actually see her, yet she will always still be walking beside you.


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tangomike
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04 Jun 2011, 3:24 pm

pezar wrote:
Maybe it was the ghost of somebody who jumped from that cliff a long time ago, and she/it decided to stop you. Did you notice if her clothes and hairstyle were slightly out of date? A ghost will still be wearing the same clothes that they did when they died. Suicide jump off points have a lot of ghosts wandering around, all the people who killed themselves are usually still there.


This was my first thought. I couldnt tell....she was dressed and looked like a hippie....but then again i'm in Eugene, Oregon where the 70's never died so some people still dress like hippies here. I can't really imagine a real flesh and blood girl to be out there by herself....on a thursday minight. She sounded so sad when she explained everything, like she knew it first hand.