When is it acceptable to be mad?

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

Tehsbe
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 26

22 Jun 2011, 2:00 am

in the past month I have:
1. found out I could've been with the girl I liked had I acted sooner
2. to sit through a really long social event watching that girl and her boyfriend
3. lost my job for reasons unknown to me
4. fractured my jaw, broke four teeth, had to get one pulled, and had to get stitches on my chin. Thanks to a bicycle accident.
5. been pulled over for doing 10 over, and got a ticket for it.
6. asked a different girl to hang out at the beach together, only to have her cancel the day before because her parents planned something else without telling her.

Is it acceptable to be mad at the world? It can't get much worse from here, but everytime I try to get out of this slump something comes up to put me back down.
I just kinda feel like all of this is my fault somehow (and don't get me wrong, some of it is), and I feel guilty and like I shouldn't be in this world...



b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

22 Jun 2011, 2:14 am

Quote:
When is it acceptable to be mad?


when you are in a psychiatric institution



PaleBlueDotty
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 Aug 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 190

22 Jun 2011, 4:18 am

Tehsbe wrote:
in the past month I have:
1. found out I could've been with the girl I liked had I acted sooner

Had she waited that bit longer she would have found out she could be with you, but she did not. Try to aim for a partner with the same perception of delayed gratification.
Tehsbe wrote:
2. to sit through a really long social event watching that girl and her boyfriend

Hurts - a lot!! ! Try to change the angle of view (I mean that physically). It was a 'social' event, not a 'menage a trois' gone awry.
Tehsbe wrote:
3. lost my job for reasons unknown to me

Inquire! Tell them it is for your own good and betterment you would like to know not to screw the company over. This works sometimes. Be willing to listen to what they have to say, no matter who says it and how - extract the information you need and act upon it.
Tehsbe wrote:
4. fractured my jaw, broke four teeth, had to get one pulled, and had to get stitches on my chin. Thanks to a bicycle accident.

Be mad!! ! .... and check your brakes.
Tehsbe wrote:
5. been pulled over for doing 10 over, and got a ticket for it.

How big a kick did you get out of the 10 over? Worth it? Be mad at yourself.
Tehsbe wrote:
6. asked a different girl to hang out at the beach together, only to have her cancel the day before because her parents planned something else without telling her.

Parents are the bane of life ( ask my son ). If her story is true, be mad at the parents, if she used her parents to get out of the date be mad at her and dump her.
Tehsbe wrote:
Is it acceptable to be mad at the world?

Certainly. I am mad at it all the time. It just does not get you anywhere unless this 'madness' is channeled into something productive.
Tehsbe wrote:
It can't get much worse from here, but everytime I try to get out of this slump something comes up to put me back down.

Sit down and write a list of positive things and negative things that happen to you without your influence.
Then write a list of positive things and negative things that you can make happen in your life.
Report back to me, because I've never done it myself and would like to know how it works out.
Statistics can save your sanity sometimes.
Tehsbe wrote:
I just kinda feel like all of this is my fault somehow (and don't get me wrong, some of it is),

Read this part of your post again and have a good laugh at yourself, because it made my day, :lol:.
Tehsbe wrote:
and I feel guilty and like I shouldn't be in this world...

Bullsh&t!! !

Now be mad at me, because I killed your thread with my patronising answer and because being mad at other people is so much easier than being mad at yourself, you do not have to live with them all the time.



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

22 Jun 2011, 5:01 am

Tehsbe wrote:
in the past month I have:
1. found out I could've been with the girl I liked had I acted sooner

Acceptable to be mad at yourself. Live and learn.

Tehsbe wrote:
2. to sit through a really long social event watching that girl and her boyfriend

See above.

Tehsbe wrote:
3. lost my job for reasons unknown to me

Acceptable to be mad at the situation.

Tehsbe wrote:
4. fractured my jaw, broke four teeth, had to get one pulled, and had to get stitches on my chin. Thanks to a bicycle accident.

Acceptable to be mad at the situation and the person who was at fault for the accident.

Tehsbe wrote:
5. been pulled over for doing 10 over, and got a ticket for it.

Not acceptable to be mad, unless it's at yourself. The speed limit is the speed limit. Even if everyone drives 10 over the limit the officer still has a right to ticket someone for it, and that someone just happened to be you that day.

Tehsbe wrote:
6. asked a different girl to hang out at the beach together, only to have her cancel the day before because her parents planned something else without telling her.

Not acceptable to be mad. Disappointed, but not mad.

Tehsbe wrote:
Is it acceptable to be mad at the world? It can't get much worse from here, but everytime I try to get out of this slump something comes up to put me back down.


The things you listed are things that happen to everyone at one time or another. It's easy for one to feel discouraged and that the world is against them sometimes, but frequently when people are in dark moods they dwell on the negatives and discount or ignore the positives.



Mindslave
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,034
Location: Where the wild things wish they were

24 Jun 2011, 10:57 am

It's acceptable to be mad when you feel mad. Taking it out on someone else is a different story though.



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

24 Jun 2011, 11:51 am

Tehsbe wrote:
Is it acceptable to be mad at the world?

Since "mad" is actually synonymous with "insane", the word you are actually looking for there is "angry", and anger is simply an emotion we experience. So then, your question is actually this:

Is is profitable -- does it do any good -- to act upon one's anger and try to "get revenge" or whatever "against the world"?

No, not at all. The seeming "thrill of victory" or of "payback" will only be short-lived, and nothing worthwhile will have been learned or accomplished in the meantime.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


MollyTroubletail
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,185
Location: Canada

24 Jun 2011, 12:15 pm

If you're of a practical nature like myself, just ask yourself what the consequences of being mad at the world at large are. You will possibly come to the conclusion that it will make you bitter and sulky, which may cause further unfortunate social interactions in your life. Is this outcome acceptable to you? If yes, then you should be mad at the world. If no, then you should not do so.

But if you were merely looking to vent your bad luck and receive sympathy from readers, then I must say that you've had a horrible week and it's unlikely to keep happening to you. These sorts of things are a random run of bad luck that can't continue.



AceOfSpades
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,754
Location: Sean Penn, Cambodia

24 Jun 2011, 5:48 pm

Tehsbe wrote:
in the past month I have:
1. found out I could've been with the girl I liked had I acted sooner
Understandable, but be careful not to fall into the trap of "Coulda woulda shoulda".
Tehsbe wrote:
2. to sit through a really long social event watching that girl and her boyfriend
Can you be more specific?
Tehsbe wrote:
3. lost my job for reasons unknown to me
Yeah being laid off is a b***h.
Tehsbe wrote:
4. fractured my jaw, broke four teeth, had to get one pulled, and had to get stitches on my chin. Thanks to a bicycle accident.
Well how did the accident happen?
Tehsbe wrote:
5. been pulled over for doing 10 over, and got a ticket for it.
Not acceptable. It's just a speeding ticket. It is no big deal unless the cop starts searching you or w/e.
Tehsbe wrote:
6. asked a different girl to hang out at the beach together, only to have her cancel the day before because her parents planned something else without telling her.
It's understable, but it's best to try not to get too mad at things beyond your control.



marshall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

25 Jun 2011, 3:05 pm

Telling myself or being told that an emotion is "unacceptable" tends to just make that emotion even stronger. Maybe there exists some people who can vanquish a negative emotion simply by telling themselves it isn't productive. That's far from my experience though. I tend to think if you can do that then the emotion wasn't particularly strong in the first place. Having something to do that forces me to concentrate hard on something other than how I'm feeling helps magnitudes more.