REALLY SAD AND DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!! !!

Post Reply New Topic

i just feel really sad all the time. i dont want to feel like this anymore. i feel really scared alot to. I was talking to an online friend alot but i dont think im gonna be talking to him anymore....and thats making it worse cause it really helped alot talking to him and now i cant and i dont know what im gonna do now to calm down and stuff cause ive been doing that. I have alot of things im scared of and things like that and they really get in the way and i cant eat or sleep and people just laugh at them and stuff like when i tell them or try to get help. sometimes my mom or people yell at me for them.

it feels like no one cares about me....

im not trying to act stupid just alot of things scare me and stuff that dont do anything to other people...so they get mad and they dont get it. but i cant help it!! !

Hi. I am really really sorry you feel so bad. The best most immediate solution I can think of is for you to talk to a therapist about this. Do you see one? Or could you? Or a doctor in general?

It sounds like you have alot going on - some of it you can work on but some of it you may need help with. Just from what you describe I can see both depression and anxiety at work. That is a nasty combination. I suffered with it for two years before I got help. I'm not sure how I made it that long - it was completely debilitating.

Please, find a way to go get help with this. It can get better but not if you isolate yourself. If you reach out to your regular family doctor, most of them take depression seriously and will, at least, recommend you to someone who can help.

You're online. Use it. There are lots of self help techniques to help assist you in taking control. And i wouldn't lose that online friend. Don't isolate yourself from your lifeline.

Here's a few links to start you looking:

Understanding Depression
The Depression Self Help Plan

That is sad. An online friend is a real friend and they can let you down just as much as any other friend.
Now, with your Mom, what if you took an initial step something of the sort 'Mom, I am beginning to think I have Asperger's Syndrome, which a lot of successful people have.'

To get her starting to think, the point is engagement with the world, still being yourself, not conformity.

If it is depression, that can start off situational and become biochem. Or, just flat out become biochem for no known reason. As I've read, something like zoloft or cymbalta might work great for some people, so-so for others, and not do a thing for still other people. In a very respectable sense, it is trial and error and highly individual to each particular person. Now, to get an antidepressant, it's a person's own choice, whether to see a psychiatrist or a 'regular' doctor like an internist or family practitioner. I myself have not had good luck with mental health professionals. Other people have.

I've recently posted a couple of links to news articles about depression. On the thinking that it's common enough, whether a person is on the spectrum or not, to be informed and educated. If you wish, just ask me and I'll be happy to re-post the links.

About the fears you talk about . . .

I myself have struggled with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), esp in my later teenage years. I would worry about germs and also "chemical contamination" from such things as common as household cleaners. Then there's kind of a trap where I'd avoid it one level further to avoid the worry.

People should give you a respectful hearing and definitely not laugh at you. Or, if they wish to claim they are laughing with you not at you, they first need to really extend their heart to understand and make it crystal clear they are with you. And actually, someone else giving you permission not to be super safe, not to "excel" or be some super "good" version of yourself, but instead merely be a human being as you are, that can be a big, big help.

And as a medical student once explained to me using the example of a fear of dogs. In general, a person wants to steer a broad middle path between avoiding all dogs and trying to "beat" the fear by putting one's face right in front of a mean dog. Instead, kind of 'zen' the fear. Say a smaller, friendlier dog, and with the attitude maybe I'll let the dog sniff my hand and try and pet him or her, and maybe I won't, and entirely on the time frame of your choice that is good for you.

i cant do this

you can do some of it

It is in fact a genuinely bad situation to be alone in the world and then the people who are supposed to be on your side, your family, are not on your side. Maybe they just don't have the wherewithal to do it. That is a bad situation and there's no getting around that.

You still do have some resources from broader society.

Option 1: either a mental health professional or just a regular doctor, your choice, who you feel you can halfway talk with. And it may not be the first person

Option 2: An indy coffee shop in your area, and the chance of meeting other artistic and creative people. A little bit of a long shot. You'd hang out with tea and a book, underdo it, be ready to reciprocate, but not press. And no guarantees. May not get one good conversation, even on open mic night. But one just never knows, with light touch, is an open possibility.

Option 3: Depending on your age, maybe university courses this Fall? A schedule of your own choosing.

And you can do these options in any order, 2, 1, 3; 3, 2, 1 whatever seems like a positive opening for the situation. And people here are a resource and can probably bounce ideas and help you come up with other good options.

You can also PM me. I'll be online tomorrow morning (Houston, Texas time) and make a special point to check.

i cant do it.....

i dont want to

everyone keeps leaving when i get friends they keep leaveing.....there just gonna keep leaveing. i dont want to have friends there just gonna leave.

We here at Wrong Planet can be with you to some extent.

I mean, I certainly have my issues. Long way from where I used to be a photocopy center manager and my screenwriting never really took off.

But I will do what I can.

I need to go.

I will check back in the morning.

And as far as jobs and all that.

I went to college out of city for two years. Lived at home with my parents for about nine months, and then lived on my own all the way from March 1985 to Oct 2008. So, 20+ years living on my own. Since Oct 2008, I have been back living with my parents. It is embarrassing and it is at times very difficult. My Dad is a pontificator and often a critic from the sidelines under the guise of "helping" me. And it's occurred to me, even with my greater social skills at age 48, I cannot always deflect him. So actually, back when I was around age eighteen and nineteen, I did pretty well given the circumstances

And one thing is, this is the biggest economic downturn since the Great Depression. This is worse than the recession of 1991 and '92 that basically got Pres. George Bush, Sr fired. Yes, the sign did get hung around his neck, the tail did get pinned on the donkey so to speak (which is funny since he's a Republican, let's say the tail got pinned on the elephant!) "Read my lips. No new taxes" when he did exactly that. But if the economy had been humming along, people would have been a lot more forgiving.

It is also worse right now than it was during the "stagflation" of the 1970s.

The point being, there will be other good times. I think a capitalist economy kind of has a built-in boom and bust cycle, and I suppose stimulus packages are like Keynesian economics which can smooth out the cycle but it's still going to be there in the background. Good news, there will be future boom periods. So, please take medium chances, with school, or with a merely okay job and sometimes hard to get even these, or even volunteer work to build up your skills, then you can get out from under your parents. And other people here, both who have struggled like I have and people who have been quite a bit more successful, can give additional advice and information.

You doing alright sasha?