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Sowlowsolo
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01 Jul 2011, 1:19 pm

Feeling so so worthless. Asking why in gods name was I ever born? What can I do that will make any difference?

I can't see any point in anything anymore. It's all a joke - a bad one! I'm soooooo tired I want to sleep for the rest of time =[ =[ =[ =[



TenPencePiece
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01 Jul 2011, 3:00 pm

I felt like that a few months ago...hope things improve soon, as it did for me - perseverance was key.


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Sowlowsolo
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01 Jul 2011, 3:45 pm

TenPencePiece wrote:
I felt like that a few months ago...hope things improve soon, as it did for me - perseverance was key.


Bless you - but I'm 46 years old - I've persevered long enough - too long.
Perhaps if I'd have known about AS when I was younger - I'd have learned to understand and cope.



TenPencePiece
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01 Jul 2011, 4:32 pm

Well in that case, tell me, have you given up? Because it sounds like you have.
With no belief of things ever getting better, it is likely that things aren't going to.
Other than saying that though, yes, I would be inexperienced and foolish to say any more.


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OneStepBeyond
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01 Jul 2011, 4:54 pm

amen



keira
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01 Jul 2011, 5:39 pm

Sowlowsolo wrote:
Feeling so so worthless. Asking why in gods name was I ever born? What can I do that will make any difference?

I can't see any point in anything anymore. It's all a joke - a bad one! I'm soooooo tired I want to sleep for the rest of time =[ =[ =[ =[


I am very sorry you feel this way and I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I'm really bad at things like that and I doubt words could actually help.
When I get into these pitch black emotional holes I keep reminding myself that everything in life changes and everything eventually ends. That means that these unbearable feelings will end too and something different, something better will take their place. I know that it may not console you and you may not believe it at this moment but those are the facts. Try to remember that probably you've already gone through some hard times in your life before and maybe those times don't seem as dark as the place you're in now, still you survived it. That means that you will survive this as well and you will get better and stronger.
I really hope and wish you would not give up on yourself.
Best wishes.



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01 Jul 2011, 5:55 pm

I just want to see things get chaotic.....maybe it will happen in my life-time if I end it I might miss out on all the madness.



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01 Jul 2011, 6:06 pm

Sowlowsolo wrote:
Feeling so so worthless. Asking why in gods name was I ever born? What can I do that will make any difference?

I can't see any point in anything anymore. It's all a joke - a bad one! I'm soooooo tired I want to sleep for the rest of time =[ =[ =[ =[


I think it would help if you gave us a few more specifics on the things that are wrong with your life.



MXH
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01 Jul 2011, 6:38 pm

i hear ya man, id rather quit while im ahead than at bottom



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02 Jul 2011, 5:43 am

I'm so sorry. I get like that all the time.

Depression is hard to deal with. So are mood drops. Stay strong. :)



Sowlowsolo
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02 Jul 2011, 3:32 pm

TenPencePiece wrote:
Well in that case, tell me, have you given up? Because it sounds like you have.
With no belief of things ever getting better, it is likely that things aren't going to.
Other than saying that though, yes, I would be inexperienced and foolish to say any more.


Have I given up? Almost - it's very near.
Things are getting worse not better - try to blame this on my thinking patterns and I will come back and haunt you (if it's an option - and I hope it isn't - I'd rather not be here in any form)



Sowlowsolo
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02 Jul 2011, 4:41 pm

keira wrote:
Sowlowsolo wrote:
Feeling so so worthless. Asking why in gods name was I ever born? What can I do that will make any difference?

I can't see any point in anything anymore. It's all a joke - a bad one! I'm soooooo tired I want to sleep for the rest of time =[ =[ =[ =[


I am very sorry you feel this way and I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I'm really bad at things like that and I doubt words could actually help.
When I get into these pitch black emotional holes I keep reminding myself that everything in life changes and everything eventually ends. That means that these unbearable feelings will end too and something different, something better will take their place. I know that it may not console you and you may not believe it at this moment but those are the facts. Try to remember that probably you've already gone through some hard times in your life before and maybe those times don't seem as dark as the place you're in now, still you survived it. That means that you will survive this as well and you will get better and stronger.
I really hope and wish you would not give up on yourself.

Best wishes.


Thank you for taking the time to post Keira - here are my thoughts for what they are worth.
You are not bad at words - but in fact you are right - I find words don't help. I wonder what the world would be like without them? I don't know the answer of course.

Everything does change and end. Do they change for the better? I honestly don't have much experience of this.

My parents devorced, my step dad tried it on with me, my mum didn't believe me, my mum has never been happy, my dad wants to get to know me now after 30 years absent (do you suppose he would like to know that I'm suicidal and broke?), my sons father stole from me and told me lies, I had to bring my son up on my own with no financial support from his father though I never stopped him from seeing his son, a man I loved very much couldn't stay in the relationship, My hair has gone wierd, my teeth are damaged and repairs will be costly, my home is in need of much repair, I'm working more hours than ever before and have less money left to call my own, My job is (I can't find words to describe it), I have been on 4 holidays in all my adult life (only 2 abroad), I don't enjoy food much anymore (which is just as well because it's too expensive anyway), I can't be arsed to put the TV on, I'm very tired.

Good things end - bad things, well, they seem to go on and on!



Sowlowsolo
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02 Jul 2011, 4:50 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I just want to see things get chaotic.....maybe it will happen in my life-time if I end it I might miss out on all the madness.

Do you? I'm sure it's not far off. And I'm sure that's what it takes to want to stay here.



Sowlowsolo
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02 Jul 2011, 5:02 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I'm so sorry. I get like that all the time.

Depression is hard to deal with. So are mood drops. Stay strong. :)


Thank you - but my strength is all used up. The world is more disfunctional than I am - I wish for my garden of Eden.



keira
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02 Jul 2011, 5:37 pm

Sowlowsolo wrote:
Thank you for taking the time to post Keira - here are my thoughts for what they are worth.
You are not bad at words - but in fact you are right - I find words don't help. I wonder what the world would be like without them? I don't know the answer of course.

Everything does change and end. Do they change for the better? I honestly don't have much experience of this.

My parents devorced, my step dad tried it on with me, my mum didn't believe me, my mum has never been happy, my dad wants to get to know me now after 30 years absent (do you suppose he would like to know that I'm suicidal and broke?), my sons father stole from me and told me lies, I had to bring my son up on my own with no financial support from his father though I never stopped him from seeing his son, a man I loved very much couldn't stay in the relationship, My hair has gone wierd, my teeth are damaged and repairs will be costly, my home is in need of much repair, I'm working more hours than ever before and have less money left to call my own, My job is (I can't find words to describe it), I have been on 4 holidays in all my adult life (only 2 abroad), I don't enjoy food much anymore (which is just as well because it's too expensive anyway), I can't be arsed to put the TV on, I'm very tired.

Good things end - bad things, well, they seem to go on and on!


I'm sorry that those bad things happened to you but your post only shows how strong you are because you survived. And you can survive this as well. I understand that you're tired and I think that probably it affects your health and the way you feel more than anything else. Is there any way to change a job or get a short holiday? Maybe someone could help you? Maybe you could see a professional to help you with depression? We all need help sometimes. Best wishes.



Sowlowsolo
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03 Jul 2011, 4:42 pm

keira wrote:
Sowlowsolo wrote:
Thank you for taking the time to post Keira - here are my thoughts for what they are worth.
You are not bad at words - but in fact you are right - I find words don't help. I wonder what the world would be like without them? I don't know the answer of course.

Everything does change and end. Do they change for the better? I honestly don't have much experience of this.

My parents devorced, my step dad tried it on with me, my mum didn't believe me, my mum has never been happy, my dad wants to get to know me now after 30 years absent (do you suppose he would like to know that I'm suicidal and broke?), my sons father stole from me and told me lies, I had to bring my son up on my own with no financial support from his father though I never stopped him from seeing his son, a man I loved very much couldn't stay in the relationship, My hair has gone wierd, my teeth are damaged and repairs will be costly, my home is in need of much repair, I'm working more hours than ever before and have less money left to call my own, My job is (I can't find words to describe it), I have been on 4 holidays in all my adult life (only 2 abroad), I don't enjoy food much anymore (which is just as well because it's too expensive anyway), I can't be arsed to put the TV on, I'm very tired.

Good things end - bad things, well, they seem to go on and on!


I'm sorry that those bad things happened to you but your post only shows how strong you are because you survived. And you can survive this as well. I understand that you're tired and I think that probably it affects your health and the way you feel more than anything else. Is there any way to change a job or get a short holiday? Maybe someone could help you? Maybe you could see a professional to help you with depression? We all need help sometimes. Best wishes.


Bless you - and thank you :) x