Out of my element

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I feel out of my element right now, I feel like my routine is getting messed up all the time. I've gotten so comfortable just staying in my room all day so when I leave the house I get panic attacks. On my holidays right now, during uni I'm so used to catching trains and socializing with other people. I've become opposite to this lately, not wanting to leave the house and just fearing other people. During these holidays I'm mostly by myself and I really hate being by myself. I become more anxious than usual when my routine is changed again, I start uni again for the final term this year. It happens everytime I start term like clockwork. Being alone for some reason it makes me very scared, how anyone experienced something like before?

All the time. and it's always like that during the holidays in my case, especially this year seeing as I'm now one year behind everyone I started at uni with (medical reasons). Most uni peeps just go back to different places, and suddenly, I'm alone with absolutely no-one I know around here, and almost nothing to do (some exceptions apply. Working very hard on passing my full motorcycle license to pass the time, for example).

The best thing to do is probably to find yourself something to do - get into a routine again, so people don't make you lose your temper/go in a panic. Find stuff to do that you enjoy - you might even tie contact with a few other people by doing that, who knows!

Anamnesis, I do agree keeping busy is good. I've been trying to find some support groups for my Aspergers but I've had no luck. I'm trying to figure why being alone scares me so much, I've always been a anxious girl but not like this! I get random panic attacks at certain places, like this particular train station. Once I pass the train station I become calm again

Panic attacks can (in some cases, including me. Had to go to Reading today, and I had one of those massive panic attacks when going past the Oracle - that's where one of the things that sparked my parents' divorce happened. Needless to say, it didn't help that I was stressed like no other when taking my motorcycle theory test, and failed the HPT due to that) be triggered by memories of events linked to a place. That might explain the train station sparking one - or just the sheer amount of people.

As for support groups... my honest advice on that is, pointless. But then again, it might just be me, or the combination of awesome (</sarcasm>) local support groups and tough personal problems. Don't get me wrong, there can be some awesome support groups, but for the large majority, it seems as though the people giving some time just do it to feel good about themselves by pretending to help others (sometimes to no avail). That's mostly what led me to go and pursue other groups, like the OAGAM and such (OAGAM is a motorcycle group - the only one in Oxfordshire) to keep myself a bit busy from time to time.
Doesn't do a single bit in terms of meeting people my age, but at least it does line up with one of my current fixations. And I get to meet a few cool people. Temporary solution, but a solution nevertheless, and it seems as though no-one down there cares about AS - in a good way, that is. There's no discrimination/ostracism for it, which is awesome.

Anamnesis, the sheer amount of people don't scare me, it's the actual place that does. Suddenly I can notice all the bad things around me and I just want to get the hell out of there. This happens mostly when I catch a train to uni (an hour long trip), pretty hard sometimes as I've got to fight to stay on the train. I can see what you mean that sometimes panic attcks can related to memory, the reason why I fear this train station is that in summer I almost fainted there because of the heat.

The reason why I've been trying to find a support group is to find friends and like minded people. I haven't been to a support group but from what you tell me, support groups are useless. I want a place where I can develop my social skills, for the first ten visits I give the illusion I'm a normal girl but once people get to know me they know I'm a bit odd. Ideally I would like some people of my own age, I realize I don't have any female friends of my own which is quite depressing.

So what you propose is that I should join some kind of group that interests me? The only place I've seen that hasn't treated me like a weirdo (most of the time) is my uni class. Well, I'm finishing up uni soon and going into the real world. I feel like my anxiety rules my life sometimes but I'd really like to meet other people. I know what I'm interested in but I don't know where I can find these groups. Ah difficult!