Life...

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It seems like nowhere am I safe from accusations and people trying to tell me how i need to be living my life and how I need to magically just get over my mental problems. So I guess the big question is can I handle this for the rest of my life I mean its hard enough trusting myself to be honest about my problems and cope with them...but then people have to tell me how 'others have it worse' I am not 'the only one with depression.' Well no crap, that does not make it any less painful. But the depression is just one of many things I also have AS related problems, anxiety and PTSD and other things I cannot quite attribute to a specific disorder at this point.

What I don't understand is I am going to college, I am planning to maybe look for part time work and I am more or less living life while coping with my issues, so why can't people just leave me alone. It's not like I am sitting around doing nothing but wallowing in self pity all the time.....but with the things people say you would assume that is what is going on. I am always told(even on this site a couple times) to:
Get over it
Get confidence
deal with it(I am its called coping)
be/act happy(Why act how I don't feel?)
put more effort into it(what do you think I have been doing all of my life?)
quit making excuses(sorry legitimate problems are not excuses)

So yeah I really don't have confidence and I feel I am doing pleanty, so I don't understand why people can never just let me feel how I feel and let me live life without bombarding me with that kind of stuff all the time.

I just had to vent because it's been getting to me.

Many people who have not experienced mental illness fundamentally do not understand that you can't pull yourself out of it.

I'm told those things often also even by people who have extensive theoretical knowledge of mental illness.

It's frustrating but to such people it's inconceivable that you can't just "be happy" because they don't see anything physically preventing you from being happy. Of course what would this thing look like? That's the thing. A broken leg you can see and would never try to tell someone to just walk. (Actually there was a Saturday Night Live skit a few months ago about people encouraging their classmate with a broken leg to "just get up, you can do it!") A broken mind (for lack of a better analogy - and I don't mean unfixably broken) you can't see. You can only see the person expressing their brokenness through conversation or sighs or actions like staying in their room or crying. People think that because you can control these things, that they're not involuntary actions, that you must be able to just not do these things and then they will see no evidence of brokenness and therefore you "must be fine."

So yeah. That's the problem with mental illness. I look forward to the day when it can easily be identified on brain scans so that I can, if I ever fall into a deep depression again, carry a copy of the MRI around and show people the broken brain. Of course then they'll try to tell me "but you can influence your own thoughts!" I am my thoughts. A thing can't influence its exact self. It can only be its exact self. And be helped by other external sources of influence.

All I do is try to be happy, but life in general is unfair, and having AS is really hard for me, and life will always be hard for me, it can never change. Most new people I meet assume im normal, but just akward, but this akwardness is daunting, there is almost never a moment Im not feeling akward in a social situation unless its with someone im very close to and trust, although I try, I try, I try, nomater what though, it that wont change the fact that ill never be NT.

What else do you want people to say?

Of course you can't just magically get over it, but there are methods to overcome creation things. For instance, I am better at facial expressions now that I have taken sign language.

You have a choice: wallow in sadness or do something. That is pretty much a summation of life fore everyone...mental illness or not. It is harder for people with mental problems to do, but it is achievable to an extent.

This is because many people are control freaks/idiots, and like nothing more than to pretend they're superior to others and try to run their lives. I just try to tune them out and avoid them if possible.

I've found the easiest way to deal with such people is to simply say "F--k 'em". It really and truly does not matter what they think. It's good to remember, when in a sea of ignorance, who's got the paddle.

Yeah, sisters are great, aren't they - mine told me she hoped I would kill myself so I'd stop ruining mum and dad's lives, and everyone could be happy without me. Marvellously sympathetic, I thought.

Anyway, my 5 penneth:

I figure that whenever people say the old "get over it/Smile!/You must try harder/etc", what they actually mean is "You are making me feel uncomfortable, I don't understand why you are this way, now stop it so I can stop feeling bad about something you're obviously putting on to get attention".

Nowadays, when I come across anything like that, I liken it to having Cancer or HIV - a long-term, life-threatening illness with very serious concesquences for the sufferer although they may not always 'look' ill.

Somehow people understand that better than the broken leg analogy - if they listen at all.

I'll say this. There's no one who has every problem in their life completely locked down. Some advice and comforting words occassionally can only really get you through the moment.

With enough friends/family and support those "moments" can stack up. There are people on here who say some of their problems.. and i'm like "Oh wow, thats not too bad" then when they say something I usually have a problem with and get through it like nothing i'm left scratching my head.

The people telling you to "get over your problems" aren't doing the same for their problems. Just ignore them--they don't mark your progress--'You' mark your progress and just because your problems aren't the same, doesn't mean you're not ahead of them in other just as important areas and from what i've seen you're doing well just by not quitting and continually trying to figure yourself out and better yourself.