I can't keep friends

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I do everything on my end to keep a friendship going (communication, keeping conversations going, etc.), but I still can't keep friends. One of the following things always happens:

1. They disappear on me for no reason.

2. They take something I said completely the wrong way, and cannot be convinced that I didn't mean those things the way they think I did.

I feel that I am a loser because of these things.

(Note that I said friendships, not relationships)

I understand how you feel. That happens to me too. You aren't a loser.

I could join this club if you were thinking of founding it.

This happens to me all the time. I cannot keep friends and few I have kept only because they have stuck around.

And I don't have a long laundry list of criteria for friends, unlike for relationships (although that list has been trimmed down lately).

Yep, me too. I try so hard to go out of my way to do the right thing and be a good friend, but it always ends as you described.

I try to make things right with the person, if there is even a slight possibility I may have said the wrong thing, but they promptly delete the e-mails without reading them. I may have meant something completely innocent, and they treat it as if it were something extremely offensive and unforgivable.

Happens to me too. We aren't losers, we're Aspies.

How do you know they are deleteing them? I can't look into my mother's account without useing and knowing her password.

Last edited by LiendaBalla on 19 Apr 2011, 11:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This happens to me all the time too. Also I lose friends because I realize that they are only using me in some way and are not truly my friends (it usually takes me an inordinately long time to figure this out)

It was just a guess. One friend unfriended me on Facebook, blocked me from IM, and all I wanted to know was if I had said something that upset them (if I did, I didn't mean to), so I could apologize and save the friendship.

I can never get that friendship back.

I feel like I am the problem.

I'm beginning to not want friends. I started working a lot more recently and time alone has always been important to me. Now that I have less of it I just think of time with other people as more work. My husband is excluded from that obviously.

I'm the same. Sorry you have it too, it sucks.

I feel that way too, but I did have a good chat with someone who helped me see things a little clearer. basically we feel much less burdened and more open when we're with like minded individuals. It could just be that the people you're hoping to get along with, don't feel comfortable around you and you around them.

It doesn't make you a problem, it just means you haven't found the right type of like minded friend for you yet.

There was a long time that I called myself the queen of alienating. I even made myself a little paper crown for it. I wonder whatever happened to that thing... I can relate to this. I seem to really only excel at scaring people off or pushing them away when I shut down and find myself unable to communicate for large chunks of time. Oh, I also annoy/frustrate people.

Sorry that people vanish on you. I hate that. I had this one guy years ago... I thought he and I really hit it off. He gave me his email, number, all that crap... told me to get a hold of him. I thought that was swell because I rarely get on well with people/want to talk to people and he was really interesting. I sent a few emails and he never replied. I called to wish him a happy b-day... he never picked up or called back to even acknowledge that he got the call. Very rude. I have no idea what I did and I never will.