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husband made it abundantly clear yesterday that he is not interested in me......sexually.

I'm just making an absolute idiot of myself throwing myself at him. The next time I want sex bad enough to ask and embarrass the hell out of myself acting stupid I think I'll just go and take a double dose of sleeping meds. I went to bed wanting to be held and cuddled and have sex but finally the medication started working. Why the heck do I even bother?

Maybe when I see the psychiatrist they'll put me on enough medication to kill my sex drive and end my depression. I'm so miserably lonely and nothing is ever going to get better about that.........and it is against my religion to get a divorce/cheat.............

Maybe it's time to re-think your religion if adhering to it is making you miserable? Or work out an understanding with your husband so that it's not cheating if you have a relationship with someone else?

It could be something else.

It is possible that he is having trouble getting an erection or maintaining it and feels rather embarrassed about it.

nope....

he spent the evening watching movies......I feel utterly crushed. My faith is important to me. So I need to learn how to cope and make it work. I think taking sleeping meds the week my sex drive is high will probably work.

Your religion condones drugging yourself?

do you see a therp? or a therp together? honoring the serious nature of your post, i have to say that it could probably not be resolved in a message forum. what about the pastor of your church or an elder? could you talk with them if you do not have a therp?

husband refuses any therapy and I can't talk about this stuff.......I do see a therapist....I generally have to take something to sleep or I don't sleep anyways.......so I'll just take a double dose the week it's a problem and take it a bit sooner in the evening.

frankly I don't have many options
cheating is a sin
open marriage is a sin
a vibrator is a sin
reading explicit romance novels is a sin
drugging myself so I sleep seems like the least troublesome(and likely to get me in trouble w/my faith) it's way below a dose that would be problematic........it's only one week a month my sex drive is utterly unbearable............during the day I can run errands, do stuff w/my kids, clean, cook, do yardwork, pray ,take cold showers, exercise and stim until I collapse from exhaustion.

It's the long nights that are awful I get lonely and that one week is just unbearable......and husband doesn't sleep with me either b/c if he did that we might end up having sex and he's very much against that. He also doesn't sleep or touch me at all during my period for the most part..........and we live in a very conservative community. Plus I'm never allowed to touch him without his express verbal permission......oh f**k it.....I'm going to go w/the explicit book and drugging myself tonight.....

So masturbation is a sin but killing yourself with drugs and ignoring a huge problem isn't??? You might want to speak to your pastor about what is and isn't sinful. Then again, some religions (and people within) are more about following rules than they are about dealing with people in a positive way.

It sounds like Islam or something... one of the last few groups on Earth where the man has all the rights and his wife has none - the pastor will only tell her to pipe down and obey.

Just curious, but does your husband share your faith and is it Biblically based? If it is based on the Judeo-Christian Scriptures then he is in sin for doing this to you. A husband and wife are supposed to have sex with each other according to my faith (protestant Christian) to keep the other person from sin. According to the apostle Paul, the only time it is permitted for them to abstain is when on a religious fast. After that, sex is supposed to continue. If your faith is Judaism, then perhaps Song of Solomon would provide some "ammunition" for your argument. As for other faiths, I don't have any advice to give as my knowledge of them is limited to a basic overview.

Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool
Mark Twain;

In jainism killing a ant is a sin.
Most of the jains walk to the temple without shoes and slippers daily
but as soon as they are back from temple they drive with their cars around
killing probably more then ants....

so forget this religious preoccupation
first try to find out why your husband avoids you

His he having a affair?
Do you stink?? poor hygiene??
Are you bad in bed??
Are you ugly??
Was he into sex earlier.??

^^^ Exactly. Try to find the REASON and there stands a chance of finding a SOLUTION.

the reason he's saving all his energy for work........and time too bc our relationship takes time and effort.

I'm a Christian so yes that scripture would apply. He is as well.

Why would I want to kill my sex drive? It makes me miserable

He falls asleep after and then complains that he misses work(he works +90 hrs a week) and this is at 10 pm at night. I take showers every few days but hygiene is a weakness of mine. I also brush my teeth regularly.

I'm not much bigger than I was when we were dating. We have two kids....he says I'm boring and like a tired old shoe.....that he enjoys talking to his boss(his boss is female and they spend hours talking)She is blond, slight, and a very successful career woman I have brown hair and am tall. I've chosen to stay at home and am working on getting an A+ certification to go back to work.

Sounds like he's cheating on you to be honest.

Christian attitudes on sex are far from the Jewish. Sex is a blessing from G-d for married people and it's a double mitzvah to have sex on Shabbat.

I have issues with Christian views on divorce. There is clearly a procedure in Jewish law for divorce, I'm not sure why they had to decide it's all out evil.

I'd say the only things you can do are work on hygene and maybe try some lingerie or role playing.