I can hardly stand it anymore.

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Since the start of this summer my life has been becoming worse than it has been in the past. It may just be me dealing with the stress of college coming up but I honestly can't handle myself anymore.

I have recently lost all of my friends, I have lost all emotion. I don't think I've smiled since June. I can tell im scaring my mom, whenever i try to have a conversation with her she either ignores me, changes the subject or responds in a very disinterested tone. My brother has cut off all communications with me. I cannot make new friends because my social anxiety has reached a new max. I am only 18 but everytime i look in the mirror I look 30 and I see the angriest/scariest face imaginable. I'm losing my hair and I'm seeing my face change in to something i don't want to become every single day. Every single day since June I have had thoughts of just ending my life, I'm so glad I'm too afraid to die. At work I get laughed at and made fun of everyday, my manager said i looked like a serial killer today which put me in the worst of moods. I really wish I looked different, I really wish I had friends. I really wish I had a family that wanted to have something to do with me.

My whole life I have dealt with anger issues and problems in school. I have done nothing significant with my life. I know I am young but I really shouldn't feel so old and miserable. I have so much more to rant about but I don't want to seem like such a horrible person. I just wanted to let this all off my chest. Is there anyway I can fix myself? I honestly feel like I have hit a permanent road block and there's really no possible way to overcome such a devastating obstacle.

It sounds like an anxiety issue to me. When you are anxious, your brain is in fight or flight mode all the time and so your normal range of emotions is suppressed. If you are dealing with it long enough, it can affect your personality. If you are in any sort of counseling or therapy, I would bring it up with your therapist. They might be able to help you with coping strategies.

I have been going to see a therapy all of this month, I have a hard time even talking to my therapist, I stutter, move around a lot and sometimes break down in tears. I am sticking with it because I know it will help but so far it's not going how I want it to.

That's actually something I have read quite a few times from other people on this forum regarding therapy. Many seem to find it useful to write out their problems and then give the resultant paper to the therapist. I suggest doing this on the computer since it will let you edit it to perfection and eliminate any static that may come from bad handwriting (if this is an issue for you).