I'm afraid of a hobby I used to like.

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I used to like kayaking a lot. I went down a rapid. My boat flipped over but I was trapped in it. I couldn't come up for air. My kayak went down the rapid crushing me into the bottom of the river and dragging me across all the rocks. Kayaking used to be the only thing I did in my free time but now I'm scared to even look at the boat and I have nightmares about it.

Perhaps you need to go with someone on an easier stretch of river and work on your rolls more, maybe work out if you have to.

Of course you're afraid! You must be traumatized, what a horrible experience. But John_Browning has a point - go back to easy experiences to dispel the fear. Sort of like they say about horses - get back on and ride. If you'd like professional help, EMDR might really help, from my own experience anyway.
http://www.emdr.com
(put your postal code for practitioners in your area)

Its probably different but ive had some sessions out in the surf where i thought that i was going to drown for sure... ive been held down deep underwater and been thrashed and dragged across rocks and reef... but thankfully i could swim just as well as i could walk when i was a toddler... what ive learnt is the best thing you can do is relax and let the water do what its going to do with you while keeping your head protected... any thrashing or pulling for the surface is just going to use your oxygen faster... strong water pretty much leads to where it has space to settle (hence rips at a beach)... so sooner or later it will take you to safety and you will be fine... but in saying that im an ocean person not really a river person... i guess you might want to practice somewhere not so dangerous...