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nilescrane
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05 Aug 2011, 11:37 pm

Why'd my parents have to meet and have sex? If I had a time machine, I'd prevent them from ever getting set up together.



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05 Aug 2011, 11:56 pm

Look at it this way though. You exist. The fact of your existence necessitates their getting together in the past.

If you want to deal in time-travel terms. Time travels both ways. Events affect each other in both directions, factually.

Anyway on a more mundane level you shouldn't regret your existence. You are unhappy now but you can be happy in the future.



nilescrane
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06 Aug 2011, 12:07 am

nothing in life interests me. even sex with a hot woman, yeah might make me happy for a week, then i'd go back to where i am right now. the only thing that could make me happy...if my family moved to the countryside somewhere away from everything.

i can't take mundane living in urban hell. i was walking my dogs with my mother the other day and two teenage punks in a speeding sports car flipped us off and called us "motherf***ers."

if i'm glad for one thing...because of aspergers and depression and being technically called disabled, i don't have to deal with douches like that in a workplace or anything...otherwise i'm convinced i would have went michael douglas in falling down by now or killed myself.



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06 Aug 2011, 12:24 am

Can you move then? To the country? Maybe even part-time somehow?

And don't dismiss sex as not being a source of lasting happiness. Well the affection that would come with it is certainly more long-lasting. The future is not set in stone, anything can happen, things that are good can happen, things that make you very happy can happen.



nilescrane
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06 Aug 2011, 12:38 am

i've had the affection (i've done everything else sexually but actual intercourse)...it's overrated. having a girlfriend (even one you like that likes you back) isn't all it's cracked up to be. hormones just push it because one's body wants to reproduce, have kids, that would in turn live in the same hell we call earth.



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06 Aug 2011, 6:38 am

nilescrane wrote:
i can't take mundane living in urban hell. i was walking my dogs with my mother the other day and two teenage punks in a speeding sports car flipped us off and called us "motherf***

I've had similar happen. It's a bummer until you think about life what must be like for someone who feels the need to do that.



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06 Aug 2011, 7:59 am

nilescrane wrote:
i've had the affection (i've done everything else sexually but actual intercourse)...it's overrated. having a girlfriend (even one you like that likes you back) isn't all it's cracked up to be. hormones just push it because one's body wants to reproduce, have kids, that would in turn live in the same hell we call earth.


All right then let me up the ante and say love. Would that be worth living for for you?



nilescrane
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06 Aug 2011, 8:21 am

It would never happen. I don't work/drive (on disability) average looking, etc. . I'm almost 28...which means women are looking for a guy with a career and his act together and a guy that wants kids (which I wouldn't want if I was paid to have them.)

But yeah...I have the love of my family...unconditional love...I told them how I'm feeling and they're supportive, which helps.



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06 Aug 2011, 8:59 am

nilescrane wrote:
It would never happen. I don't work/drive (on disability) average looking, etc. . I'm almost 28...which means women are looking for a guy with a career and his act together and a guy that wants kids (which I wouldn't want if I was paid to have them.)


"Almost 28?" Why do I keep hearing people in their late twenties saying it's too late for them to be a success at things? Everyone goes at their own pace, women included, so there are many women (TRUST ME) who are NOT looking for a guy with a career and "his act together" (which no one ever really has from all I've heard firsthand from even the most successful, everyone is always striving toward something they want but don't have) and are NOT looking for kids. Some women actively do not want kids.

Not driving... lots of people don't, especially in cities.
Average-looking... not to be blithe cause I struggle with my physical appearance as well, to a greater degree than you, but ideals of physical beauty vary wildly.
What career would you have if you could have it?

Quote:
But yeah...I have the love of my family...unconditional love...I told them how I'm feeling and they're supportive, which helps.


That's very good.



nilescrane
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06 Aug 2011, 12:15 pm

That's the thing, there is no dream job. I consider the Aspergers a blessing in disguise that I never have to work. I was truly born on the Wrong Planet. I hate most things in general even when my mood is better.



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08 Aug 2011, 11:03 pm

nilescrane wrote:
nothing in life interests me. even sex with a hot woman, yeah might make me happy for a week, then i'd go back to where i am right now.


Then you just bang at least one hot woman a week. Happiness problem solved.



nilescrane
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08 Aug 2011, 11:30 pm

I feel like I'm walking on thin ice. After Saturday, my mood went "back to normal"...that is, not happy, but not miserable either and not thinking about wishing my life was over.

For whatever reason, my depression is such that when it hits, it hits hard and fast and I sink to "Life is pointless, I want to die" territory.

As for the women stuff...I do think if I had a woman that actually liked me as much as I liked her (but was sane and had healthy interest, not psychotic interest) that maybe I'd be happier on a consistent basis, but I don't want to have to rely on that. I made a lot of progress over the years being alone and I don't want to be one of those people that hides behind their significant other or their dating/sex life.

It also scares me that when the first girl i dated tried to do the "ignore his calls and hope he goes away" thing, I had pills in my hand ready to end my life over some stupid girl. I also don't like the way I felt for weeks on end following the break-up.

Even the depression I had when I made this post doesn't compare at all to the way you feel when your heart was ripped out of your a$$.