My psychiatrist recommended a therapist and I'm scheduling an appointment with him. Realized, I have every reason to feel the way I do and be sick of life, but since I've already decided I'm not going to end my life, I may as well figure out how to change what can be changed and make the best of it.
What scares me is my mood swings. I can be "ok" and go to "want to die" mode out of nowhere, even with the meds I'm on.