Not sure who I am.

Post Reply New Topic

I have been pretending my whole life to be someone I am not, trying to fit in and and just get by unnoticed.

After a while of so much pretending and roleplaying, I have no idea who I really am anymore. I am starting to feel nostalgic for a person I never became, or the idea of that person. I do not know if I make any sense, I do not think I make much sense to myself either.

I feel I am numb and emotionally void, a puppet that has played many parts, but is only playing, never really is anything.

Not sure what what is wrong with me or what I should do about it.

I recently have felt a lot like this trying to fit it in with who I thought I should be just so people would notice me and like me. It wasn't until I realized that regardless of whether they like me or not I still felt miserable for having to put an "act" up. I'm found it's easier just to be a bit strange than put on a mask that eventually will melt and everyone would have seen me for who I truly was. I'm not ashamed of how I am now but I was before. I've ironically felt nothing but relief since I gave up the "act." I don't think anything is wrong with you, you just want to be accepted for who you are like the rest of us. But I think a major problem in that is that we don't want to accept who we really are in fear of how others perceive us. Just my opinion on the matter hope it gave some insight.

This is why I hate people telling me to "just be yourself". I have no idea who the person they think I should be is at all, much less who i want to be myself.

They say that but they have no idea what they're asking for.

Yeah I know exactly what your saying. I seem to be going through that right now. Has it always been like this? At one point in my life I was pretty secure in who I was. Now, I don't even know where to begin. If you were someone else and can recognize that maybe it can help you become that person again. I think i try to prove to others that I do exist and I do, do things but in the end even after doing it, I'm still me and kinda makes things worse then what they were.

Yes, the problem is I have always been like this. I feel I am just a mirror of whoever I am with at the time.
There are so many me's right now that it is getting confusing. I want to throw them all out into a vacuum in outer space, but wonder what I will be left with. Probably nothing.

Yeah, just be yourself is probably the hardest thing anyone can ask of you. =)

That would happen to me also. I'm really sorry, I wish I could help you out. Atleast your not alone?

I admit, I wear 'masks'. The person my friends see is not the person my parents see, nor the person my jobs have seen, nor the person my BF sees! Only people who really see me are my cats, because they love me and are unjudgemental.

I wonder if I am afraid of showing my entirety due to my experience of rejection? Not to mention having a sister who is the epitomy of perfection. I'm not jealous of her - I'm actually proud... but next to her I have always felt invisible because even without trying she outclasses me in everything.

One of the reasons I began going out with my BF was because he said "I see you. Not who you show the world, but you." He's good like that .

Thanks, it helps knowing I am not the only one, and that eventually I will figure it out.




Hm cats, I should look into that. Yes, rejection can be difficult, its always easier to be rejected when you know you weren't being yourself for whichever reason.


Sooo cute.

You are who you want to be, so be something that you like - f*ck what everyone else thinks...

It took me a while to find this and it came in pieces.

Yes, much soul searching to do. Must re-humanize. Robot be gone. Muaaa! Thanks dears.

I've done something similar for 2 years. I tried out the 70s because that was the decade that I was born. I spiked my hair and wore a lot of black and pea green. I forgot who I was until It came back to me as children were going back to school a couple of years ago. It will come to you the way it came to me.

Meditation helps too. :D

Either that or periods of deep thought. Thinking is the best way to learn about yourself.

be willing to speak out, stand up for your convictions, if you have any. Try and find out who you are somewhat through creative outlets -- not consumptive, like listening to music or watching a movie. write a journal and then throw it away yearly, or something.
I want to emphasize any creative outlet possible that you desire to make use of. it's a way of expressing when you feel like you cant

say WHAT??
Why throw away? It's not like we should feel ashamed of who we thought we were in the past.
Maybe I'm just too nostalgic.