How do I remind someone my dad is dead

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I know theres probably no answer to this but I would appreciate your thoughts on it if you have any.
My dad died a few years ago and I was really close to him because our minds seemed to be on the same wavelength (I wonder if he had AS too but thats a different topic). I still find it difficult to talk to people about him dying, I have recently started being able to tell people things about what he did when he was alive like his profession and hobbies etc without bursting into tears so I think I have improved in that respect. Anyway I recently started a new job and I still get a lump in my throat when someone asks something like does your dad play football but I have managed to say he died --years ago but no he was never into football, and I usually get a "sorry I didnt realise" and they drop the subject.

But the other day a collegue I get on well with who I know I have told ( when I started the job maybe a two months ago) that my dad is dead said I bet your parents are.... I think they were refering to my sister and mother who I was telling a story about. But at the time I was caught off guard and so answered as if they had said sister and mother. Since then I have been sort of afraid to speak to the person for fear that they have forgotten and they might refer to my dad as being alive again and I might burst into tears as he was the most important thing in my life and I so wish he was still alive.

I half think it was a slip of the tongue and they know not to do it again but realise they are only human and may have forgotten. So have you any ideas about something subtle that I could say if they mention my dad as being alive again. Apart from the obvious "my dad died -- years ago" because I think this may upset both of us.

I know how you feel....

The way I dealt with this, and it became easier with time, was to just answer questions about 'parents' with info about your mom. They generally then don't ask about your dad as they will know there's a reason for omitting him; if they do then ask then you can mention that he passed away and they will say sorry to hear that and it will be done with.

The other thing I do is that if someone asks a question directly about dad, then you can answer as if he was still alive. So if someone asks if your dad plays football then just answer as if he was still alive., if they ask about his profession (a common question), tell him what his profession was in the past tense and they will probably get it!

Be strong and know you're lucky that the bond of love and affection between you and your father is such a strong one..

I would just say "I don't have a dad". Of course, you did have a dad. But your dad is not with you presently so this is accurate to say. It might be weird to say at first, but I think it is better than what you have already been saying.

You don't have to tell people "my dad is dead" as it seems to be very hard for you to say, brings unwanted sadness, and it draws unwanted sympathy.

If that doesn't work for you could also say, "I don't have a way to answer that question. Let's talk about something else" or "This subject is hard for me to discuss. Let's move onto another topic" if someone asks you about something pertaining to dads and father ship. If they persist on discussing it, be firm and say "If we do not change the topic right now, I will have to leave".