Advice Plz: Adultery and Its Hypocracy

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A while back, my parents split up. At the time, the reason had been that they had drifted apart over the years. However, as the months passed by, the true tale came out - my mother had an affair with a married man.

Fast forward a few more months, and it seems history is repeating itself. However, this time, its my father who plays the role of adulterer with a distant married cousin.

To me, two wrongs dont make a right, but he has committed this. Im struggling to retain my respect for him under the circumstances.

I am the only one who knows this is going on, and want your advice on whether I:

1. Carry on regardless
2. Confront him
3. Move out and play dumb

Answers on a postcard.

Honestly, this isn't something you should involve yourself in. Even if they are your parents, this is still between them. And chances are, you likely don't have all the facts of the situation. Leave it alone.

My Advice:

1. Confront both parents
2. Move out
3. Carry on without them

Marriage is not meant to make anybody happy, so most people have sex with others. I can't see what's wrong about that.

Why would you care about that? They are adults and you're not a baby.

I am not very attached to my own parents, so I do not get why some people feel their parent's problems as their own. When my parent's separate I did not give a damn. I continue my relationship with them, see each one in separate places, and avoid talking to each one about the other, thats all. Actually I think they are more happy now.

I think your parents are having problems in "their" marriage, and they should work them out. You should not judge them or get involved in their problems. A marriage is between two people: husband and wife. And you are not a child. You are big enough, so be an adult and do not interfere. Mind your own business.

I don't see why you should respect either of them to be honest.

Are your parents still split up? If so, your father isn't having an affair. But in any case, stay out of it. Best not to judge - you can never really know what goes on in other people's relationships.

Really its only for them to work out. Sometimes cheating is just what it is, sometimes there are underlying issues involved.

Without actually being in the relationship, there's nothing for an outside party to resolve. Society wouldn't even have a label on it if it wasn't considered to be wrong. Meaning they both know that they hurt the other.

If they have young kids involved, it'd be a good idea for them to apologize and maybe try to work things out for the family.. but if not then thats really only up to and for him (both of them) to make amends.

I don't think you should play dumb. You have absolutely no reason to keep this secret for him. Maybe you could talk to him about it and see what he says before you make a decision.

Ann - yes my parents are split, however, my father is involved with a married woman. This is what I mean regarding the hypocracy. It was only a while ago when he was slagging my mother off after she had an affair.

For those who think I need to "grow up", or otherwise, I respect your views, but im sure you could be a bit more empathic. Things are not as cut and dry, or black and white, as you may think. There are many ways where I could "grow up", however depression has prevented me from achieving the life maturity I crave. If I had this "life maturity", I probably would be unaware of this issue.

I get the irony - if he wants to be with a woman who cheated on her husband he should start with his own wife. I still think you shouldn't get involved, though. Couple's relationships are too complex and personal. If you want to say something to him, tell him how you feel, but don't judge him.