Harassment and bullying in COLLEGE

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I am not claiming 'victim' but I am very frustrated and enraged at the amount of passive aggressive harassment going on in my college.
I am keeping a tally of the amount of 'art' people are using to socially manipulate and humiliate me.
One girl dedicated an entire semester to this.
As if she had no life, were part of some
sick
machine
of hate.

I cannot take it anymore.
I haven't 'done' anything but make art.
To get my god damn degree that is all.
People are trying to run me into the ground.
I am becoming extremely openly angry
and hostile toward people and I do not know how to control it.
I went to a counselor finally yesterday over this,
over half a year of social harassment,
in an "ADULT". COLLEGE environment
and I cannot contain my anger anymore.

People I don't even *KNOW* are doing this.
I have *never* met these people.
If they want my reaction they are certainly getting it. I can't take it anymore.

There is no one there I can relate to or talk to like me.
I am completely alienated,
I have turned almost everyone I know against me,
and people I don't even know.

Thoughts of anger do not stop spinning around my head like a broken record.
I have come to the realization that because of my state of birth
and autism that my life has been a complete waste
and social void and numb.
I am tired of blaming myself
as it caused severe depression,
therefore I blame society and its failure
to fix me and my autistic state,
a downward spiral
since highschool,
they never helped me with my speech and social problems.
They drugged me, turned me into sedentary cattle
with no motivation
my brain is fluoridated by prozac from a young age
My existence has become a pathetic sob story
of Pity and disgrace

I am fragile and falling apart constantly.
I have constantly tried to hang on to my 'sanity' and lucidity
and the recent attempts I've made at that, have only added to the anger people have toward me
because of their slanted belief system
even the coinicidence of my volunteer work
which I was offered by the State vocational rehab facility
How could they do this.
They have called me a robot, a computer,
because of my flattened affect

I have gone to church and temple to ask God to heal my tired existence
I cried to God and Jesus to make it stop
To heal my mind it is broken
The only human I trust is Jesus
I know He is there because i have felt His pure love
As the potential within all of us.
Yet I am becoming evil and hateful
Like an animal reacting to its diseased environment.

Is there anyone here who can relate?
I do not know how to handle this,
the situation is too complicated,
my patience over these sheeple is wearing thin.
I am having terrible thoughts.

What kind of college are we talking about? UK or USA? (The term "college" refers to wildly different things in those countries)

All I can say is, hang on to whatever you can. I've been in that situation before, and I know how difficult it is to survive through (in my case, the harassment lasted for nearly 7 years when I eventually turned back on all those morons and smashed their pride in on what they cared the most: their grades). Those kind of people (the harassment/bully type) actually feed off reaction - so don't give them any if you can. Find people outside who are not part of that and actually like you for who you are. And most importantly, beware of people who seem to "genuinely" come by to help you - not all of them are nice (I've got a wonderful personal anecdote about those people. Ever since, friends have to go through a brick wall before I start to trust them with important matters...and even that metaphorical brick wall is not good enough at times).

By the way - it's a wrong perspective to think that you turn people against you. Most of the time, they turn themselves rather than you actively turning them. It's always worth seeing situations with hindsight, after a while, rather than to think you're guilty if something bad happens, because most of the time, it's a person's choice to suddenly turn against someone else, and not a reaction, except for very dire situations.

Just hang on. Life isn't that bad - you're just surrounded by smacktards, judging by what you are saying. Things will inevitably improve (I know. Big indescriptive words, but it does happen sometime!)

(P.S: being called a "robot" by NTs is actually a compliment. I'd rather be a robot than be like them any day of the week - better to have emotions but have difficulty showing them, than faking emotions because they don't have any, for the large majority of them)

Thank you Anamnesis. It's a US public university. This particular art college is like a public graffiti wall. It is full of immature and snobbish kids who act like theyre still in high school.
I am aware people are insecure themselves, as their insecurity has revealed to me with their passive attacks. However when I mention being reactionary I'm really talking about my self as I feel they are all pushing me to react this way, as if some kind of social manipulation to expel me from the university.
The 'robot' thing is something I can't stand, because I find the statement hypocritical, as I see this mob of NT's as a machine that is unconscious and destructive.

Interesting post. I have to say that I don't believe that you are a victim at all. Years ago, I was bullied and picked on for a lot of the social and speech problems that I had in school. It was an emotional nightmare for me I have to say. I can not say that I know what it is like to have experienced what you are experiencing.

If I was to put myself in your shoes, I would try the best that I can to simply ignore those who are causing this pain and humiliation. They are simply not worth it. The "children" who are doing this are acting exactly the way they are because they may feel some kind of jealousy or something.

Regardless, I can feel your alienate-ness and try not to act outwardly with your anger towards them. It truly will only make matters worst. If there is a situation in which they are assaulting your physically or doing something criminal towards you, do not hesitate to contact the police or security.

Hang in there. You are only a victim if you regard yourself as a victim. I used to feel a long time ago that I was a victim...that bad things happened to me because that was my lot in my life. I realized though that that way of thinking did not serve me or my interests anymore. Screw them. I know who I am.

Things will get better.

Sorry I could not add anything meaningful.

First off, *hugs*

I've been through the same thing, at college. It's been more than twenty years since, and I'm still trying to figure out why. I have all kinds of theories, but none of them make any sense.

I truly wish I could help you; all I can offer you is sympathy. I've been there and I know what you're talking about.

That sounds really horrible.

Public State University? Public funding? They should be following the 'no harassment' policy to the letter. If I were you I would look up the school's policy on such issues. If they fail to help you and discipline the students who have been harassing you, can you spell lawsuit?

It would be arduous and probably not the road you want to go down, and you probably would have to have excellent documentation of all that has happened.

Is there no one on the art faculty who can champion your cause?

Actually, it would make a very interesting art piece. You could photograph the people who are tormenting you, and record what they are saying to you. Take back your power in other words. I dunno you could hand them a written statement when they start their tormenting. Have someone photograph you handing them the statement. Up to you what the statement says, you could have it be an explanation of Aspergers perhaps? With a list of famous Aspies at the bottom? Then you blow up the photos, paint on them. alter them, hey you just made some great art!

If none of this appeals to you, go through the regular school channels to report these bullies. Take notes on all your meetings. And threaten to go public if they don't help you. Public as in contacting your local television station, the Governor of your State, the attorney general's office. Whatever, you get the idea.

I found the art students at my college extremely cliquey and all very insecure. I used to amuse myself by making up categories for the various painting groups. There were some huge egos walking around school and they were all very pretentious and very silly. The school was too small for anyone to get away with actively bullying anyone and from what you have described at your school it does sound remarkably like high school all over again.

Can you transfer to another school? Is that an option for you? Can you transfer to an Art College, such as, I dunno, depends where you live, the San Francisco Art Institute, or University of the Arts in Philadelphia, Maryland Institute College of Art? You might thrive in that kind of environment, or a place where Geeks are welcome and always have been, like Reed, Beloit or Bard College.

I know they are private not public and their tuition is ridiculous but there is financial aid, scholarships etc.

Good luck.

Ak-47s are your friend. They're easier to procure than M-16s.

So college is like high school? Screw that, I'm not going there, you couldn't pay me to go, then. Thanks for the info.

I had a troubled youth in school, you know, thankfully, I went to jail and I guess that was a wakeup call from God and a great learning experience. Quite a social learning experience, too. Now, on the outside, my entire thought process changed. But, it cost me a lot to learn all that stuff.

As for the best thing to do with people harassing you. Be ballsy. IE, if you hear someone say something under your breath about you when you're around, just ask "What'd you say?" and then when they're like "oh, nothing" just respond back "Well, you did say something, I obviously heard you, your lips did move, what did you say?" or "really, what did you say about me, c'mon, I want to hear it, say it to my face, if you have a grievance with me, then I myself would like to hear it personally from you, as I'm not a coward like you are." I also "learned" eye contact, too, but not quite polite eye contact, only staring at people using eye contact to intimidate them. Then again, learning all this came at a huge huge cost.

But yeah, stick up for yourself. Don't do anything drastic, but sticking up for yourself will be the only way to get things to stop. Find the people, and directly confront them, ask them why they are harassing you, see where that goes. If they deny it, just be like "No, you are harassing me, I heard you say _____ and ______ and I dislike it greatly, so tell me why do you do this, then, this is not high school anymore." And just see where it goes.

I think the neurotypical way to handle that sort of stuff is form a group and do group battles of gossip back. My Aspie way of handling problems is that now, I used to be miserable because people in school would do all this subtle bullying, and I couldn't figure out how to subtley respond back. I learned that I didn't need subtleness, I just needed balls.

Also, too, remember a few things Jesus said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." By you directly confronting them without actually harassing them, they'll now know what they're doing, and can change it. Also, read what Jesus said to do with enemies, and Proverbs, quite great stuff. Also, I'd pray to ask God for more courage. It's weird, all this terrible stuff did happen to me now, but I finally feel like I'm much closer to the confident person I always wished I could be. Ask God, and he'll help you.

Last edited by 1000Knives on 17 Sep 2011, 8:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

A lot of the harassment is not substantial enough to report. It's usually fluid and indirect, the kind of thing you'd sound like a fool if you reported. In my case, when they finally did something I could report (kept calling me all night long and saying something that could be considered harassment when I answered), the campus police were not helpful at all.

I think the idea of carrying around a small camera and/or voice recorder is an interesting idea. Record everything, edit it togehter, and play it back for them--show them how ugly they act to their faces. i have no idea if it would work, but it could be the new Heathers.

People are still people, and NTs are still NTs. I've found that in my computer science department, though, that most people will ignore you instead of directly bullying you (There are practically no females, though. *Some* teachers will bully you, though, it seems if you dare say something.). The exception is if A) you're forced into group work and B) if you're forced into a shared dorm room. In a way, though, college people are more mature than highschool, so if you happened to be a "mature" NT person that found the immaturity of highschool revolting, you might find college refreshing.

I'd imagine as the percentage of females in a classroom increases, so does the associated bullying of ASD individuals. Girls tend to be more socially manipulative/skilled than males, and their numbers seems to amplify their boldness.

If you show them, they'll just ignore it and claim no involvement while chuckling inside.

If you show others that know you, they'll probably just laugh. (Not to your face, though. Many would fake concern because they're supposed to and they'd laugh inside, but there might be a few genuinely concerned individuals that would help you out.)

Well, swbluto, they didn't like Heathers. That movie upset them greatly. I remember because I went to the premiere at our school with those people. Some guy actually cussed out the poster afterwards.

It upset them so much they made Welcome to the Doll House in retaliation, a movie that revelas more about the people who made it than the subject.

Oh, and when you record these people, edit the footage in such a way as to make them look ridiculous. It shouldn't be that hard.

Oh, well, if you edit it just the right way, it might be possible. That might be hard for a typical AS individual, though, as it requires a good perspective on what an NT would consider "ridiculous" or humiliating.

You could edit it in a way that makes you laugh. You never have to show it to anyone; just play it when people get too nasty to handle. That way, whenever people are bullying you, you just picture the movie in your mind and think, "You clowns are just giving me more material to work with."

talk to a lawyer. harrasment can be considered a minor offense and you can slap them with restraining orders.

Better yet, write down the names of those who are constantly harrassing you, write down specific examples (including phrases, actions and if possible, time and date of the occurrence) and write down a letter to the the dean of the arts department/college in your university and tell him what has been going on, attach a copy of your records and tell him in no uncertain terms this is the one and only time you are giving the university a warning/chance to step in and apply their no-harrasment rules before you take this to a lawyer.

You cant be nice with these people nor with the bureaucrats in the university. If you go and -talk- to them nothing will happen. Submit it in writing and they are forced to take action otherwise the university will be liable to a lawsuit.

Hi, I'm updating...
Thank you everyone for your concerns/suggestions...

I apologize if I seem dramatic or overreacting but the way I see things so far is that an increasing number of people are looking at me with scorn... as prophecied in a dream... (self/collective filled prophecy really)
You see I cycle in 'special interests' and my particular running interest in the past 1/2 year has been, dream psychology and the essence of the human spirit

I feel hated and anathematized by everyone... I'm really sad, thank god I have wellbutrin or I would have fallen apart and shut down again... Instead I find my self blindly lashing out on these peoples 'art' which is clearly made against me... I could face discipline for this but they are constantly using childish methods which makes their 'argument' moot

This is all because of the complex mutual dream i had with this teacher
He would not directly talk to me so i made a piece of art LITERALLY explaining detail for detail, the spiritual encounter

The whole thing is a mess I am confused and tired of people trying to manipulate me and take advantage
I am tired of people projecting negative images of a little girl or midget child huddled up in the corner, and an old man with rotting zombie flesh, it is really sad of them to do that
They put it on the walls in the classrooms
My face and name is smeared everywhere

I will not re-rant my sob story existence so I will just say
I am extremely sad over this and these individuals are pushing me out of the school
It's unfortunate that I have talent, and a unique one at that, but they decided to be jealous
I could probably count just a hand of people who would even talk to me anymore.. no one is EVER direct with me
Everyone is manipulative
I don't plead innocence since the issue could be clearly seen by 'normal people' as extremely inappropriate and borderline breaking the law... but I do believe this professor has been manipulating/grooming me for sex all along
In the back of my mind I knew it, I believe depression and a number of things makes me cling to people inappropriately for antidepressant effect.. that prof just happens to be a 'monologuer' which makes me feel less alone and alien in the world.. because i am a rambler myself.. which makes me honest to a fault as well, about my feelings
I also believe the woman teacher, ex wife, is also extremely corrupt, highly manipulative, playing on peoples emotions, and manipulating passive aggressive girls to attack me psychologically with art.. She claims to be some kind of champion of 'ethics' but she is breaking the very university code with childish insults and apalling behavior... I feel like monkey in the middle or running in a gerbil wheel while these sick people are laughing and manipulating me and im just mute and lashing out like an animal unable to do anything about it

The point of the whole thing is, I should have talked to people more and not go off into the shadows... And people should not make shallow judgements and exclude me like they did... They excluded me before things got even worse.. I looked for other people but still felt excluded... around this teacher i felt like i belonged, a way i never felt i belonged before... I am resentful of society right now.. I feel like God has forsaken and cursed me with my autism and eccentricity.

You're probably thinking, I did this all to myself, as a form of self sabatoge, and partly I believe that is true, but also i do believe, that I just badly want the answer to the possibility of dream sharing which could be inspirational but instead has cast an angry mob against me ...

I decided I will take this issue to the college guidance counselor and therapist/counsellors..
Thank you for your time