Jealousy

Post Reply New Topic

Alright so lately jealousy has been creeping up on me, specifically these past two weeks. Anyway I have a 4 year old cousin, shes a sweet kid and she's more of a sister to me than a cousin. Lately jealousy has been eating away at me, my mum passed away from cervical cancer when I was 4 and I have no memories of her, I'm guessing they're repressed. Whenever I see my cousin being given affection from my auntie I become extremely jealous, it's gotten to the point where I need to just go and get out of the house, even when I do the thoughts still plague me.

I would never want any kid to have to go through what I've experienced, I know it's wrong to think about it but honestly sometimes I wish my cousin didn't have her mum either. Does anyone have any tips to help stop this from getting the better of me?

I don't think you are actually mad at your cousin or really wish she didn't have a mom either. You're just hurt and you are looking for a place to direct that hurt, and a little part of you probably wants them to acknowledge that hurt and understand how difficult it must have been for you.

Realize though, that even though your mother couldn't be there for you, all mothers have intentions for their children. Within these intentions are blessings, well wishes, and hopes. The fact that she would have comforted you when you got hurt. Defended you when you were threatened, and would have been happy for you when you won a sports game or did well on a test. A mother's intentions live on after she passes away but only if her children realize them. She can't be there for you but I assure you that every act of kindness you see a mother do for her child, your mother would have done for you, and he last thought before she passed was likely of you, and the intentions, hopes, and dreams she had for you.

Embrace that because your mother loved you very much. You don't suffer alone because she knew her passing would be hard for you but she had to go.

^

That's not necessarily true though..

Yes, you are correct. I should have said, I'm operating on the assumption that his mother was relatively normal.

Woops, seems like I kind of forgot about this thread. I think you're right in some ways, at first I thought I was mad but now that I've taken a step back and had a look at things, I don't think that I was ever mad. I agree with you in saying that I was hurt, you know sometimes its hard for me to believe that I once had a mum, its been 13 years and all I have are photos, letters and lots of personal items but no memories. She always did her best for me when I was growing up and like you said if she were still here she would still be supporting me, ultimately I have to deal with this for the rest of my life but you know what? It makes me happy to see my auntie spend time with my cousin as I know that my mum did the same with me. Cheers for opening my eyes up a bit and sharing your thoughts.