my parents blame me for their marriage issues

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dad came back from a business trip. the moment he came back my mom started a fight with him while we had our family dinner. she said that we hadn't fought as a family while he was away. she turned and looked at me to confirm it and i told her that we had fought a few days ago in the car when she nagged me a lot and tried to force me into something i didn't want to do. when i replied that i wouldn't do it she insisted and i told her to shut up. then she accused me of verbally abusing her. so, i told dad we had fought. he said is there something about me that makes you want to fight your mother, son? it was upsetting to me because my dad told me a few months ago that i was the reason my mom is trying to divorce him. its probably true because im unstable and i piss off my mom all the time. it makes me feel really guilty about who i am. i can't stand my parents but i only have about 2 more years of living with them.

If it is makes you feel better, I am NT and I could not stand my parents either. They also had big fights about everything to the point I stopped paying attention to their fights. I recommend you next time just tell your mother (or father): "Sorry, but I do not want to have anything to do with this", stand up al leave the room. They are just using you as an excuse to their problems. Yes, having a child with AS creates tensions in a marriage, but the tensions are not because of the kid, but because of the way the parents behave. The main fights between my husband and I are: 1) because I lose my temper dealing with our daughter, 2) because he does not help enough, I have to carry everything alone. So, the problem is not our kid. The problems are: 1) me, and my lack of control over my emotions, 2) him, and his lazyness. In your case I can bet you are not the problem, either. They chose to have you, after all. The ones that are not doing the job as parents are them.

I agree with what Ilka says and I am really sorry that your parents are dragging you into their own relationship problems. And these are their problems not yours. It must be really hard, but do your best to remain neutral. I second Ilka's suggestion about refusing to be drawn into their arguments and quietly removing yourself from the situation as best you can.