[b]Signing Off[/b]

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I was the member that wrote the posting about betting it off of my chest.
I have now reached a decision.
Today Friday the 14th of October is my last day on earth.
I have my kit packed ( morphine 1000 mg oramorph 600 mg and around 100 baclofen tablets together with a bottle of vodka to drink them down with ).

I have alrdy written my will - ( to exclude my wife and daughter ).
I have a vehicle to take me to a remote location where I can take the pills.
Mt journey will start Saturday morning - should take around 7 hrs to get there.
I will park up and put the back seats down in the vehicle.
Will get into a sleeping bag and consume the contents of the above kit.
Hopefully i will just lose consciousness and pass away.
If heaven forbid I acrual;ly wake up, I will be near enough to a cliff to complete the job.
I understanf tyat there are a lot of people probably feeling like me, but unlike me- I feel perfectly calm about what I have to do.
No anger , noregrets, just a kilnd of calm felling of something that just has to be completed. I have tried other paths to circumvent this , but to be honest I knew that it would finally end like this.
Guess I might miss the morning sunrise but it will be a small price to pay.
I recently has an operation , and was asked whether I was nervous- I actually couldnt wait for the anasthetic to be injected to provide a peaceful sleep,, I guess this will just be a longer sleep, I feel strangely driven to be hinest, like I am finally completing a task put off for too long.
A friend of mine died a couple of days ago - and although I will miss her ( she died at 3am Tuesday morning), I also felt jealous that she had got her release.
This will be [i][u][b]my last posting on this site

I can tell you are very serious. Please stop and get yourself to the hospital. A young family friend lost her fiancee to suicide 2 weeks ago and it's hard to see the confusion, pain and sense of guilt that always haunts suicide survivors. I do understand. There was a time that I felt there was no hope and that I had no other option but suicide. I couldn't imagine that I could ever feel better. Depression is a black hole and I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced a major depressive episode could know how you feel. But Depression makes it so you are not thinking clearly, even if you think you are. Please just try to ask for help.

Your failed family unit aside, you should seriously consider the fact that there is still a world out there to see. There are a plethora of sights, sounds and experiences that you should partake of. Being disabled and having an ASD is f*****g s**t: I feel for you mate but life is a one-shot and throwing away that chance to experience things in life is a waste.

I'm not telling you to 'man up' and suck it down, what I'm telling you is push through for your own sake. If your calm enough to write this farewell and plan as intricately as you have then you are calm enough to see the wisdom in wanting to live just for the sake of seeing what else life has to offer.

Kochcurve, I hope you are reading this. Aimless and PaoloTrep said what I also believe. You cannot see all the good that is out there for you at this moment but it is out there. Nothing irreversible has happened that makes it so that you can't access this good, you are just very ill right now with depression.

Please call the hospital right now, for your own good, as PaoloTrep says.

I hope you don't think it's silly for me to quote this, but there are song lyrics that encapsulate the problem with suicide in a way I myself had never thought of before and which startled me and gave me hope when I was feeling very hopeless: "it's too late to change your mind, you let loss be your guide." There is so much you have to gain but you are only seeing the loss at this moment and allowing it to dictate whether you live or die - please don't let it, please please don't let it, you have SO MUCH to gain.

I just read your previous post and I understand you are in a very difficult situation but I am telling you it is not the end, you can come out of this and be happy, I know you don't believe it now but trust in other human beings now who can see that you can, and please get medical help now so you can start to believe it yourself.

Exactly what poster above said.

I don't want to put s**t on people I don't know but there is a common misconception that family units should just magically work 100% of the time. The sad fact is that they don't always work because families consist of people and sometimes people just aren't compatible or are just bad human beings.

Your family doesn't function in a manor that is right for you mate. There is nothing wrong with knowing that and moving on. At the end of it all: you need to be happy and if being away from that is how to do it then that's how it is. Just because that portion of your life is over doesn't mean your entire life is over.

If you are still looking at these responses then know this:

'People are put in this existence for a reason: we may have an idea what that reason is but we never truly know it. Maybe we come here to do something, maybe to experience something that we need to, maybe it's to prepare for whatever lies beyond but ultimately life is it's own purpose'. My own belief.

Live mate, live and see what else life can teach or show you.

don't go:(. why not move to the other side of the world. its like killing your old life but still getting the chance to try again

Why not put this off a little while, please. Think of another drastic change that keeps you alive, like moving away from your old life like OneStepBeyond said, even across a country or two.
I want you to have more days of life -
Mountain

I have to say this: If you fail, you may end up in worse shape than you are in now, not dead and not able to take care of it by yourself any more. I've seen "survivors" of failed suicide attempts and they often end up worse off than they were to begin with. Please don't risk this. It could get worse. It really could.

~Kate

Crap...I think he did it.

Has anybody checked some type of international suicide report thing sorry don't know the right word for that? This is sad.

I Google searched pill related suicides that took place on October 14th 2011 and nothing that sounds like it could be this one came up. There is a good chance that he actually did it though. This post that he made on October 3rd 2011 shows the extent of his misery. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4060774.html&highlight=#4060774