How did you handle a job/moving out?

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My parents have suggested this idea of a part-time job and perhaps getting my own apartment. I just totally "shutdown" after this! I'm in college now and consider that my "job" I have to have time to study! I only go 2 days a week so YES I have time for a job but I honestly don't want one! Plus on the apartment front I don't want to be alone. I'm scared. I don't want a job!! !! I want to focus 100% on college and NOT add the stress of a job! I have panic attacks and meltdowns and HIGH anxiety NOW anyway from college! I DON'T need to add a job on top of that!! !! !! !! !! How did YOU handle a job/apartment?

It hasen't come to that yet for me but I doubt it would work out at this point.......I would be lucky if I keep the job for a month and if part time salary would even be enough to cover the cost of an apartment.

They might just be concerned that you continue stepping out into the world and not be too attached to them. Eventually, as you know, they will not be there. Being a parent of two adult children (20 and 22 respectively) it's not too hard for me to imagine they would have concerns like that. I would...and do.

My son has graduated college already and is working on his Master's. He's moved home again. In some circumstances that would bother me, but the economy sucks, rents are high, and honestly he can save money staying at home and finish his Master's sooner. I do my damnedest to treat as the adult he is, kinda thinking of him more as a roomie or renter than my son, which as far as I know is working ok so far. He's not working yet but I am about to give him a reminder kick in the arse about his plans to tutor Physics and Math, which would at least pay a lot better than minimum wage jobs.

He doesn't have panic attacks, and that would be a big consideration for you I would think, which might put you not quite on the "average kid" track of moving out. But he has had cataplexic seizures, which we tracked down to food additives that were in the college food. At home he doesn't have those because I have a kitchen where you will not find *any* chemicals in the food, no matter how hard you try. Well, occasionally there's a non-organic potato which might have Daconil, but apparently that doesn't trigger his seizures. Anyway, if he lives at home his food is secure and the seizures aren't there. If he moves out he will have to learn a LOT more than he already knows about what is safe and what isn't. Plus, he can cook, but only a few basics. I'm having him work on a broader range in cooking while he's here.

Now, back to you: Have you considered negotiating with your parents and asking straight out what their concerns are? Maybe a small step at a time, so your parents don't think you'll still be living with them when you're 40 , but something manageable, might do?

If you have panic attacks I do kinda think moving out and getting a job and while in school might be a bit risky to bite off all at once. How long have you been at school? Is there work study you can do on campus? Maybe a few hours of work study might suffice for a start? You'll be in familiar territory at least.

Plus, and apartment has an added complication: If you're having problems with work and study at the same time, you still had to sign a lease and pay rent and you could be stuck with that, which is not a pretty thought. Really, it would be better to just start with a small job and see how that works.

I will say this -- as important as college can be, you still cannot learn things that are important that you will learn even if you have the most dispy doodle job possible. There are certain life skills like showing up on time without fail, properly dressed, doing what you're told with a positive attitude and getting along with coworkers and your boss (even if he's a jerk) that will always give you a better chance to succeed in life.

I didn't believe my mom when she told me this, but I figured maybe she had a point, and sure enough, she was really right about that. Smart woman for someone who never made it past 8th grade.

My husband, when he moved to this city and started grad school, didn't have an apartment as much as he rented a room from a lady who lived near campus. It was a garage that had been converted into a largish bedroom sort of studio apartment, and everyone shared the kitchen.

Friends of mine have, in similar fashion, rented one of their bedrooms to various grad students over the years.

Usually that's more affordable than renting an apartment, and you don't get into these weird arrangements with 3 other roommates and you end up getting stuck with the lease because they are too high to pass their classes and drop out. lol

Of course you would not be bringing your sexual conquests home, but that's not such a big deal really.

When I was in college, I lived in dorms and worked part time as a waitress (weekends). During the summers, I would move back to my hometown, lived with my parents and worked full time as a life guard/swim instructor. By the time I graduated, I had plenty of experience in the workplace and was more than ready to live on my own.

I got a job in my field within weeks of graduating and with my meager starting salary was able to share a modest one bedroom apt near my job with a collegue. (I slept in the living room). A couple years later my roommate married and moved out. By that time my salary was enough to pay the rent without a roommate.

My scenario was pretty typical, meaning, gradual. There's no way I could have moved out of my parent's home before being established in a job.

You're being given a chance to get out of that home, where you're constantly subjected to their putdowns and yelling, and now you don't want to leave? I'm confused, to be honest.

Hasn't happened for me. Within the last year and one month since my sister's child was born, I have suffered several weeks at a time where I was completely psychotic with all the stress. I want to move out, but financially I am nowhere near the door to that opportunity with college and all (although I am less than one academic year from getting my bachelor's degree). If only I could move out and get away from the family forever.

But, I think moving out is all a matter of money. I have a considerable amount of money in savings, but I don't have a regular income, and without an income, I can't pay rent or buy groceries. So no. Otherwise ADL's would be a lot easier. Even living as a dependent, I am so wrought with anxiety that I don't eat right, don't exercise enough, and don't have time for a lot of grooming things without feeling guilty about not helping 72 year old single dad with babysitting his grandchild.

I worked full-time, while going to school full-time, but just because I felt I had no other choice. My home-life wasn't good growing up (ie. abject poverty, no running water or heat in the wintertime, alcoholic father, etc), so I was pretty much in survival mode, trying to do what I felt I needed to in order to get out of that environment. I somehow managed to graduate with high honors, too.

I felt I was about to have a nervous breakdown more than once during those four years, but somehow didn't. The irony, though, is that I graduated with an English degree, which is not very helpful at finding a job and it may not have really been worth it. But, hindsight is always 20/20, I guess.

Personally, OP, I think that getting a part-time job and apartment while you are still in school and have your family's support is a good idea. It might be intimidating, but it'll be easier in the long-run, if you ease into being independent, rather than get thrown into it all at once when you graduate. It'll be like a trial run, so you can build more confidence.

Thanks! I can get Section 8 (housing program in the U.S. where they pay part of your utilities). I'm also on SSID and get income that way + part-time job add the 3 up I can manage (the money not going towards utilities can go towards internet/t.v. luxeries/hobby + college isn't over so I get financial aid as well. It's just the fear of it. OMG! ALONE! But I agree perhaps getting out would be good. Section 8 in my area is up to a year wait so it might be awhile and they aren't kicking me out ASAP just want me to get started by looking for a part-time job and go from there get on the section 8 housing list and such. Thanks for the support.

sign,Brandy