will I be a child forever?

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I think I am an adult now, except for the emotion part, I am still a child. I think I am handicapped in that way. Just like someone who cannot get fit despite how well-fed they are, or "dwarf" who never reaches the normal height of normal people. Am I really an emotionally disabled person? Does "asperger" mean that growing so slowly, or hardly grow emotionally, always looking at the world from a child's viewpoint?

I feel I now have the full range of human emotions - it did take a very long time.

But what the hell you can eventually get there.
and I prefer a journey that allows me to take my time

If you have gone through it, you understand the pain I am going through, don't you? When I think of how unhappy my parents are to see their child ageing, but not growing up, you know what I mean? And the pain when I look at my peers, who are always behaving appropriately and winning recognition? In addition, the pain when being called clumsy, childish by everyone, including my loved ones. It hurts, but I want to thank you though for sharing. It really helps!

I don't know if this would help, but you might want to watch comedic Anime. I reccomend Azumanga Daioh, but there are tons of different shows out there. Alot of times they show characters acting klutzy or childish, but make light of it instead of seeing it as wrong. So it might help you to see yourself in a better light.

I have seen the results of them growing up. I am happy to be me.

There are short cycle people and long, families where few live past fifty, who shave at thirteen.

They have to grab it quick, they have limits, I continue to learn and grow.

I will take life long learning, having the open questioning mind of a child.

Excuse me, I am extremely sorry I am not sure I fully get your point.

When I was small I watched Sailor Moon, really loved it then but I don't have time for manga and anime now. It's odd that in my country almost every kid is crazy about manga, anime... I maybe one of the most ignorant about it.

My brother, who is PDD-nos, told me one day that if you can make it to 30 without growing up you never have to. I guess I made it

I can be very childlike at times, full of wonder about the world, skipping and giggling through my day. I can also be very responsible if I need to be.

I'd like to think that the dichotomy between adult and child represents balance in my life.

I am 42 but still behave like a child in many respects - I was in the middle of conversation about particular experiments at work then saw a woodpecker through the window and ran to the window to watch, telling colleagues how wonderful it was as I'd not seen one in real life before... eventually we got back to the discussion. We went to a conference in Toronto and I spent an evening at Medieval Times by myself (and it was awesome!)

It is frustrating at times being 'childish', I would probably go quite high in my profession if I could be more ruthless and might find a partner if I wasn't so naive.

But then there are lots of benefits - you don't loose touch so much with the wonderful important things in the world. I have a great relationship with my kids, who in some respects are more mature than me now.

I am doing ok, I have a good job and next year will be head of a research group, I am lucky that people put up with the wierd things because they see also the good attributes.

There is a difference between "childish" and "childlike." Those of us living with Asperger's Syndrome are "childlike."

I understand how you feel. I'm 12, trapped in a 28-year old body!

But is it really such a terrible thing to run outside to chase butterflies in spring, or take joy in the way the sky looks the day after it rains? Look around you then, at the poor sad adults who can see only their own weary pain.
The song of the rainbow is lost to them, their Fairydust has long been dry. So what if you don't always use the right fork? You remember how to fly!

Silly poems sometimes come to me, like that one.
Anyway, just remember what Mister Rogers said: "I like you. Just the way you are."
Tell me, Has HE ever been wrong?

I'm 19, almost 20 years and with that not as old as some here mentioned. I'm very childlike though and I experienced that many of my peers tend to think that my reactions are funny and way beneath them as they're already considering themselves as grown-up and serious. Of course, some are silly, but this silliness is very different from what I mean when I say that I'm childlike. alexbeetle and Vastarien explained it wonderfully. It's about the different interpretations of a situation, while I tend to be unbiased and not taking my experience in life to judge, I miss out a mutual part of being "grown-up". Of course, this causes me to react different from someone else who is my age or older and it also makes it very difficult for me to take this experienced and judging point of view. It's very important to not take in, but have a firm opinion in many things in society. So it's true that this can get in the way very much and it can, depending on the relationships one has, also get in the way with other people.

I see the negative things about it, but I've also come to see the positive things this gives me. I take joy in simple things, I am open and honest, unbiased and all this is, depending of the situation on hand, as much of a disadvantage as it can be an advantage. It's just as good as it is bad to have emotions reign you whereas other have them constantly directed in a favoured direction. I'd say working on it to gain control and still having the ability to let one's self relax is the best idea - and did I say it's hard work?

I had loads of trouble to work with people whom I detested. I reacted the same way as a child, being unable to focus on anything other than my anger. I once threw a tantrum right inside class in grade 7/8. I had to work hard on overcoming this, I remember that I slipped a lot in school for the following three years, attacking teachers verbally not trying to be mean but out of my frustration and inability to direct my emotions - but since then, I have overcome this issues. It's definitely not as if I react the same way as my peers who're still afraid and shy about some particular teachers, I even managed to overcome this last year. I can see the person behind the teacher position - something which some people of all ages seem to find hard - and although I seriously don't consider having a nice chat with some of them, I haven't given in a dirty argument they tried to engage me in yet. I did once, last year, I slipped when I was outside the room and muttered something I shouldn't have, which means I'm not the kind and master, but very fallible like everybody else is. I think that's not a problem though, I consider this as normal.

Long text, just wanting to say, don't give up, work on what you think needs work, don't despair about setbacks, we're all human.

I understand this. It is quite heartbreaking to feel like such a disappointment to those whom you are largely dependent on. You feel the unfair hand that your parents were dealt. You also feel the unfairness of "the House always wins" when the world feels like a card game--"House" being NT group-think.

I think the distinction between "childish" and "child-like" that was made earlier is significant. There is openness, imagination and sincerity in being "child-like" and these are traits that most NT's sorely miss. If you can look into yourself and distinguish which behaviors are "child-like" vs. "childish", you can work on the childish behaviors and mature those as you go along, but cherish your child-like behaviors.

As for your parents... It can be quite easy to slip into self-loathing, self-hate, and/or self-pity when assessing how one's Aspergers feels like the vacuum within the family space. But such feelings do not help anyone including your parents. If it's possible to talk with your parents so you can feel reassured that their on your side, then do this. If this is not possible for whatever reason, then first and foremost, accept yourself first instead of waiting for them to accept you. Life is too short to wait for the permission of other people to have dignity.

I'm 51 and I can be as serious as the next person when I need to. I also love rainbows, birdsong, sunrise, sunsets, stars and chocolate cake. People who mature too quickly miss and lose a lot.

I like these two kids... where's my mom Jaleb... can they come over to play mom?

I think sometimes I am still 'cute' to some people because of my being childlike.. even at 47 y.o., but it's not something that wears well in a relationship, as I have learned.
Also in the area of money... I just don't have a good sense of the value of money. I give it away in various forms without thinking much about it. I just like sharing, I guess.
My childness is probably also the reason I don't worry too much about my future.
I'll be starting another career probably when I'm 50 and the only thing I'm worried about it seeing my daughter get through high school and her first year or so of college/living on her own.
I have never been able to get myself to plan ahead or even worry about the future for myself.
It's like, "everything's gonna be okay... the good fairy will take care of us all!", or something like that.

I also think my 'inner child' (?) is what makes me so frustrated with the way people treat each other.
I just really don't get why people act the way they do when it seems to natural and easy to treat each other with respect.
This is why I'm never involved voluntarily in the little dramas that occur at work.
I don't do well with adult games... especially the mind games.

A positive thing about all this is what Alexbeetle mentions in regards to our children.
I think my state of mind has helped me to treat my daughter with respect, and live in awe watching her grow.
Sorta like watching an older sibling and wishing I could do what she does.
I marvel at the things she learns or at watching her do some craft or play music.
I just get so excited that sometimes I get all choked up.
One thing I do, do, ( haha, I said doodoo) is to keep from acting too childlike around her friends and school-mates.
I don't want anyone thinking I'm just some old fart trying to 'stay young' by hanging out with the young kids... that's freaky!

I just get caught up in the fun and need to express my feelings, which usually come out more childlike than adult-like.

I wonder sometimes if I'm going to skip the mature adult stage and slip right into the "old demented senior citizen" everyone stares at, laughs at, but avoids like the plague if possible.

I don't think that being childlike is anything one ought to be ashamed of.
My parents seem to like the fact that I have never really grown up...especially since they don't have grandkids.

Granted there are advantages and drawbacks...

I am 32....I have been called an 8 year old...my boyfriend's ex girlfriend accused him of being a pedophile for being interested in me because I am "not a" "grownup"....even though I am just a few years younger than him...

I like not being a "grownup"....I am really good at relating to children...

....um youth is wasted on the young...I am privy to people who are years younger than me but more supposedly "grownup" which just means that their lives are just more "complicated"....in a bad way....and all they will end up doing is rapidly growing old.

Sometimes I do get jealous because these complicated young people seem to have certain powers and skills that I can't even begin to comprehend....but so do I....(have skills that they can't comprehend)

(having a hard time phrasing things correctly...too much msg from too many cheetos has clogged brain)

Although it was giving a hard time when I was teenager even until now, I always like my childlike-being. It's the best part of me because that keeps my positive energy alive inside me. Adulthood is so boring and depressing