I'll never find someone to marry

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Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Age: 33
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22 Oct 2011, 6:22 am

Nobody understands me, who the f**k would want me anyway. I'm useless, I can't even work I just want someone who will love me and accept me, someone who will be my best friend.

Radiofixr
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22 Oct 2011, 6:40 am

I totally understand and just because we are on the spectrum-doesn't mean we don't feel and want the same things as NT people.

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HopefulRomantic
Deinonychus

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22 Oct 2011, 7:32 am

sweetcupcake wrote:

Nobody understands me, who the f**k would want me anyway. I'm useless, I can't even work

I just want someone who will love me and accept me, someone who will be my best friend.

SweetCupcake,

First and foremost, please allow me to state that a lot of people feel the way you do - perhaps the difference is that some people don't state it (whether it is in written form on Internet forums or verbalize it to other people directly). Overall, I think it's very worthwhile that you are voicing your feelings because it's important to do so. The resultant feelings you mentioned about self-doubt and rendering yourself "useless" is a prevalent occurrence. As difficult as it is, please consider this: every single person has self-worth and your feelings matter.

My sincere hope is that you find someone IRL to talk to about this. If you feel lonely and the need to vent, please feel free to PM me as I will be glad to listen. In the spirit of candor, please allow me to disclose my status as an NT female (a highly extroverted one at that) - I thought I should reveal that. And by the way, some NTs feel the way you do now - myself included at times.

Hope you feel better!

Leslie

HondaZx2
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22 Oct 2011, 7:45 am

i know how you feel, but dont be sad-panda.
Temple Gandin (how ever her name is spelt) never had a relationship nor kids. look her up some time.

HopefulRomantic
Deinonychus

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22 Oct 2011, 8:45 am

Radiofixr wrote:

I totally understand and just because we are on the spectrum-doesn't mean we don't feel and want the same things as NT people.

I wholeheartedly concur that everyone has feelings and desires - perhaps the difference is some people are more expressive or demonstrative of them. And that is neither good or bad - it is just the way it is!

Good post!

Ichinin
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22 Oct 2011, 8:58 am

HondaZx2 wrote:

i know how you feel, but dont be sad-panda.
Temple Gradin never had a relationship nor kids. look her up some time.

Advice of little comfort for someone who feels lonely. Not everyone can live alone for a long time.

The only "hope" i can give to the OP is that unless something happens, eventually you get used to being alone, you stop looking at the other sex, you stop going on dates - the illusion dies and the pain goes away. Don't get me wrong, i'd love a girlfriend but i expect to die alone.

Some aspies makes it in the "game", some do not. Most NT seems to be of the opinion "i rather be with anyone than being lonely" which is sort of pathetic (read desperate) and stupid - but fully understandable.

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Tequila
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22 Oct 2011, 9:18 am

sweetcupcake wrote:

Nobody understands me, who the f**k would want me anyway. I'm useless, I can't even work

I just want someone who will love me and accept me, someone who will be my best friend.

My circumstances are not that different to yours on the face of it. I don't know you or your situation but you must believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It just might be some way down there, that's all.

And you don't want to marry just anyone - trust me on this. If you place such a low value on yourself, your partner will too. Consider that.

spidertea
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22 Oct 2011, 10:16 am

sweetcupcake wrote:

Nobody understands me, who the f**k would want me anyway. I'm useless, I can't even work

I just want someone who will love me and accept me, someone who will be my best friend.

Why can't you work? You have arms and legs don't you?

LostUndergrad9090
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22 Oct 2011, 11:51 am

Edited

Last edited by LostUndergrad9090 on 24 Oct 2011, 1:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

Wolfheart
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22 Oct 2011, 12:34 pm

sweetcupcake wrote:

Nobody understands me, who the f**k would want me anyway. I'm useless, I can't even work

I just want someone who will love me and accept me, someone who will be my best friend.

I'm sure there's someone out there for you, relationships tend to be very stressful and draining for many people. It's better to focus and rationalize on the positive aspects in your life rather than letting your failure in relationships or dating define you or your sense of worth.

Don't allow yourself to be pressured into a relationship or any social situation, do what you feel is right for you and be true to yourself, you'll be happier in the long run. Start following your own instincts and make decisions that are right for your life, not for society.

anna-banana
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22 Oct 2011, 3:11 pm

OP you could start with changing the title of this thread - you're scaring them off with this marriage talk.

:wink:

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CaptainTrips222
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23 Oct 2011, 3:03 am

DeanAdamFry wrote:

Why can't you work? You have arms and legs don't you?

sweetcupcake
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23 Oct 2011, 5:00 am

DeanAdamFry wrote:

sweetcupcake wrote:

Nobody understands me, who the f**k would want me anyway. I'm useless, I can't even work

I just want someone who will love me and accept me, someone who will be my best friend.

Why can't you work? You have arms and legs don't you?

Sometimes I wish I didn't, then I wouldn't need to explain.

Zeenat
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23 Oct 2011, 11:47 am

Hi,

Your note has moved me to put up my first post/reply ever in Wrong Planet. I just want to say that someday, you'll meet someone who will love u for who u ate. Cliche, I know.

I'm NT female and would consider myself very outgoing. Then I met my fiancé who is an Aspie, and needless to say, we were opposites in our habits and lifestyle. But, it's his differences that makes him so special from other guys. We do have our problems, but at the end of the day, we still have each other, and soon we'll be married this Dec.

So please don't lose hope...true love will prevail!

sweetcupcake
Blue Jay

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23 Oct 2011, 1:08 pm

Thanks but i've already decided to end my life after shortly after Christmas. I'm a hopeless case.

OneStepBeyond
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23 Oct 2011, 1:22 pm

you're what- 20/21 years old?
stop this nonsense

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