I hate emotion

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I've been putting it off but all day rellies have been ringing saying they can't phone my grandmother. My parents have gone away for the weekend, I don't have a car license and don't have any friends to take me over there (10km away). I'm getting the same feeling I got when my sister died a few years ago. I have to organize something. I hate emotion.

The only emotion i like is happiness , but i get the lot , i get down. I get stupid thoughts all the time that are not real , but make me feel like s**t. Sometimes i get highly frustrated and this is when i am out and about in the world in general , i easily worry and worry too much. I hate my emotions too which is why i see a doctor. I am meant to be 100 per cent content with my life , but i can't see that this is possible.

I hate emotion aswell. I caught someone laughing at today because I expressed too much angry emotions.