my moms stupid antics piss me off

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my mom argues with my dad but can't get a divorce cuz she has no job. 2 years ago she became obsessed with gardening. she just gardened everywhere and only talked about gardening. she was mad because dad has a job and will not garden with her. this is ret*d because obviously we need the money. a few months ago she became really obsessed with some guy. i think he was like a gardening club hotshot. anyway she asks him to marry her randomly after she has only known him a week and discovers that he has a wife and kids. lulzy... anyway she has kept gardening 8hrs+ a day (no kidding) and more or less rectified relationship with dad even though she is probably still proposing to random gardener people. i can't help laughing a little as i read my post. i have no love respect or sympathy for my mom. i just can't take her seriously after she does stuff like this. this strains a relationship that already sucks. she constantly nags me and does other stupid things. and she hates my dad for bs reasons. i should publish a book on all the stupid s**t my mother does if i could even remember all the s**t she does. anyway i hate her and it ads stress to my life to be around her.

Hooray! You recognize her mistakes, so you probably won't repeat them. That's progress. Parents and other people make all kinds of mistakes that you can recognize and learn from. Offspring have an obligation to learn from their parents' mistakes and to do better than the parents did, simply because we can.

Well that's one way to look at it. I'll just have to think of new and original mistakes to make.

Oh, you will, believe me. And when you have children of your own, they will be watching closely and saying to themselves, "I'll never do that!"

...and the beat goes on...

I have a difficult relationship with my Mom too. My Mom has a tendancy to alter between loving and downright cruel, and it's always seemed like she was nicer to other people's children than she is her own. My Mom has had four husbands and several boyfriends for as long as I can remember, two of which were only a couple of years older than me so you can imagine how humilating that was. She's always had a way of abusing her spouses emotionally and sometimes physically yet when she breaks up with them she tries to make them out to be the horribly abusive ones, and she will break up and seduce them back several times for years before they finally have enough or she gets bored with them and they are gone forever. My Mom also tends to think she's smarter than everybody else in the world so it's difficult to have a conversation with her when you try to explain something and she tries to convince you you're wrong even when you know you're right. She can be pretty arrogant which is why I stopped sharing things about my life with her. She also has a way of always making me feel guilty about something as a way of controlling me, and I suspect that she has prevented me from learning how to drive or being able to go to college just so she can have complete control of my life.

I just want you to know I understand what you're going through because I'm going through the same thing. You'd think that at the age of 21 I'd be free of her and living my own life but it's not that simple.

Dear Aspie48 andGreysun369, Seriously, Google 'Toxic Personality'...I think you both will find your mothers there. I do not know your respective ages, but you both need, really NEED to get out of your situations, you are both swimming in emotional/psychological poison. Greysun, you are analytical and you see just what is being done..you are an emotional punching bag. It isn't going to change, the destructive manipulative behaviour is who she is. Aspie48, your mother can get out of her marriage if she wants out. She can get training if she wants it, she can find a job if she wants one. If she did that, she couldn't play at home all day with your father forced to support her because 'She can't find a job'...see how that works? She is where she chooses to be. You are not. You need to take care of you. You need to be ready to move out the minute you turn 18, or when you graduate from high school. The longer that both of you stay, the more this sick behavior hurts and cripples you...please start planning how you are going to leave. And do NOT announce this in advance. They will sabotage your efforts, believe me....Sylkat