Why does having NVLD make me so sad?

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i just wanted to be perfect, i guess
but i have too many things to worry about
to be perfect
i also have a version of ocd where
i screw as many things up in my life as i can think of
i wanna let go of
my need to be perfect
because only then
will i begin to live from my heart

Would a virtual hug alleviate some of your pain? *extends virtual arms*

I emphasize with you very deeply here. Although I have never been officially diagnosed with NVLD, my scores on elementary school evaluations and high school standardized testing indicated that my verbal intelligence is quite a bit higher than my nonverbal intelligence.
I am also deeply perfectionistic, to the point where I become severally depressed over dwelling over the fact that I did not score a 36 or a 2400 on the ACT and SAT, since some people do, and, in my mind, that means that I should be capable of doing so, as well.

To answer your question, though; people with autism/Asperger's/NVLD/OCD/other neurological "differences" have minds that are geared towards order; we perceive our world as disorderly, causing us to do everything in our power to restore this "order." In the case of perfectionism, we feel that we must BE the order in this disorderly world that we live in; we try to correct the disorder with perfection.

The funny thing about the pursuit of perfectionism is that the more we seek it, the more we realize just how unattainable it is.

The good news, though, is that one doesn't have to be perfect to be brilliant. Screwing up is human. Screwing up often is a human who dares to experience and experience often. You are not defective for testing a certain way on intelligence tests or for constantly making mistakes. You are a wonderful, capable, needed person, and, although it make take years, the sooner you are able to truly believe this, the sooner you can be all that you were meant to be.

No one is the best at everything. You may not even be the best at anything. This just means, of course, that there is a relatively high chance that you are pretty good at a lot of things. Polymathery (having multiple skills) is just as brilliant as genius.

I wish you the best of luck in overcoming these negative feelings. May you find the peace and serenity that you need to accomplish all that you were meant to do.

Thank you for the huggg! -Hugs back-

Giggle.

I dunno, I feel like I screw everything up.

I see the order thing because I have OCD.
I think it's more PDD-NOS though.

I guess I'm not defective though. My mind will always be filled with many programs. I have to learn to shut off the bad ones and shut on the good ones. This will take many years, but maybe eventually I will be a master at it!! ! Giggle.

Thank you for your support, dear new frienddd <333 PM me anytime you feel sad and need to talk.