Special Interest Worries

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First of all, I know this is a really long post, but I would really appreciate it if no one typed "tl;dr" or something similar. It's rude and unhelpful. Thank you.

Now back to the main post:

As I'm sure many people on this site are aware of by now, ever since January of last year, I have been completely obsessed with Johnny Depp and certain specific movies that he's done. Lately he has been putting out a lot of interviews, particularly to promote his latest movie The Rum Diary: first with CNN, then in Vanity Fair magazine, and in a couple of days he's going on David Letterman. But every time I watch or read his interviews, I keep getting the feeling that he just isn't happy with being famous and that doing movies seems like a chore for him rather than something he's passionate about. I get the feeling that he would have been happier being a musician like he originally wanted to be, or maybe he would have been happier being just another average joe.

The way that this is affecting me is that I feel like I'm contributing to Johnny's disillusionment by being such an obsessive fanatic of his movies. I feel like it's people like me - the people who always put him on a pedestal, who fawn over his handsomeness, who go crazy over his movies and want him to keep making more - that make him wish he had never become a superstar. He says he feels "violated" whenever he has his picture taken, and that photoshoots are "just dumb; just stupid". That makes me feel bad about using pictures of his characters as avatars on this site, because now I know that behind the cheerful grins of the Mad Hatter or Willy Wonka, or the silly expressions of Jack Sparrow, that deep down, Johnny felt awful inside while his picture was being taken.

Sometimes I wonder if he's aware of my existence since I'm a regular contributor on such a massive website (this one). I mean, I know he would probably have no reason to browse an autism forum, but I noticed that this site comes up fairly often in unrelated google searches, so it makes me wonder sometimes. Or maybe I just think that because I have a big ego, or I'm being paranoid. Or a combination of both.

So the point I'm driving at is: if Johnny Depp truly is unhappy with being a celebrity, then is it selfish or unfair of me to keep obsessing over his work when I know that it makes him miserable?

If you've read this far, thank you. Please give me your opinion on this matter, because it's really starting to bother me. I would also like to know if anyone else has experienced similar feelings related to their particular special interests. Once again, thank you for reading this.

You are not responsible for his feelings. End of story.

Besides you're not even certain if he's unhappy or to what degree he's unhappy.

Idaho Rose,

The Perfect Storm's correct. Also, I'm sure Johnny Depp wouldn't think you were selfish or anything for obsessing over him. You like him for who he is, not just cause he's a celeb.

Thank you for your responses, Perfect Storm and Cad. Your words actually remind me of things my mom would say - which is a good thing, since she is my primary source of emotional comfort.

I wouldn't say he's feeling awful inside; more like bemused by the ridiculousness of his fame. If he really hated it, he could stop acting at any time--he's got enough money to last several lifetimes even if he never made another film. Nobody's forcing him.

The Ninth Gate kicks ass! He's wicked funny in that one and it has the best ending.