Depression

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I think I might be depressed.

I've recently lost interest in video games, which were a significant part of my life up till now - they were of major support to me at times of boredom, so now I've been trying to read more books. Other than "Norwegian Wood" and "Les Miserables", which I enjoyed, it's becoming difficult finding books that can keep me interested.

Sports have lost their appeal as well. I used to play tennis, but I quit (I was too competative). I used to practice karate, but I quit (had to train at home, which was boring). When it's day, I try to find ways of killing time; when it's night, all I feel like doing is sleeping so that I can escape the boredom.

I've been on medications and seeing a psychologist since 10th grade or so, yet they don't seem to have any sort of impact. If this keeps up, I doubt I'm going to live to my 21st birthday... which is in two weeks.

Help.

How about some studying? Volunteering? Crazy all over the world travelling?

Already doing the first (QA in computers), will do the second (dogs), not a big fan of the third (waste of time and money).

I wish I could say something worthy I'm kinda in a similar place myself.... However I find a great interest in various studying, not nec. for a qualification of some sort, just learning about stuff without any particular purpose. Usually various fiction just don't cut it for me, but for instance "a first course in nature/maths/sociology/history../CBT/raw foods/feminism/critical thinking..../french/philosophy" is very eye-opening and motivating in itself if one takes a rational approach without starting to go hard on oneself. It might awaken the interest in world and entertain the mind. Anyway, just a thought.

You can get through this man. I've been there too, I've been through many periods of deep depression, going through sh***y times, wanting to give up and end it. But I didn't end it and neither should you.

It's good that your studying. Are you studying computers at school or on your own? Keep looking for more things that interest you. Browse the internet, there's bound to be things that catch your attention. The volunteering is also a great idea, those animals need people to help them. Not many people want to volunteer, and I find it admirable that you do, it's cool.

I know this is hard to do, but just try and find the good things in your life. Maybe right them down and think about them. It's helped me before. Talking about it helps a lot too, and you've already started. Just come here whenever you need to talk, you have friends here.

You will make it to 21, and in two weeks I'm going to wish you a happy birthday.