Going numb...I guess.

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Guess that's what happens when all the stress builds up and I can't deal with it...but yeah I feel like I am just drifting through life with no purpose at all. Not to mention I do not seem to have any motivation whatsoever to find a purpose either. It feels like there is not really much keeping me connected to the world. I just feel really isolated and detatched and like nothing really matters anymore.

And I will have to stop here because I am having major difficulties putting it all in words so yeah.

i think numbness is a coping mechanism our brains use when the stress/depression gets too much. lack of motivation and an 'i don't care' attitude seem to flow from it. it's difficult because it's circular. i think it might be what a lot of aspies are talking about when they mention 'shutdowns' and stuff so you're not alone. if i knew how to cope better with it i'd be doing it myself, sorry

Yeah it definatly is a coping mechanism, but I don't even have motivation to do things I enjoy like listening to music which is one of my favorite things, and when I do I don't really enjoy it.

Feeling numb is one way sign that I'm way too stressed, been feeling like that for a couple months thanks to boyfriend mum's threats combined with assessment stress and graduation stress. Doesn't feel good

Yeah stress is definatly contributing but there is not much I can do about it, just seems like life is hellbent on driving me insane.

The creepy part is.....part of me wants to go insane. I don't see why I should be expected to keep it all inside when its f*cking me up...I just don't even know how I should be perceiving the world.

I know how you feel at times Sweetleaf.
I've gone through times where I also felt like drifting through life.
I didn't enjoy anything, would fret about the world and literally wait around for the next economic collapse.

Its like a tension that builds up inside of you.
You just stop caring, it tears you apart inside. You feel like your going mad. Yes, I know how you feel.
The best advice I can give you is to talk to people on here and also write out your problems.
Maybe do short stories or something? That will help to give you something of an insight. You can be surprised at how you feel
deep down when writing.

I do talk to people here but its like any other website, sometimes it just makes me feel worse.....its not always very civil here, at least not in every forum. I do sometimes write horrible poems no one should ever read because I'm terrible at poetry about how I feel which can make me feel a little bit better.

Well, where is civil? Most forums are never civil unfortunately. As is a factor of the internet. But I prefer forums. Far much more better then the Facebook crowd.
Hmmm if I may ask but do you feel depressed every day? Are you ever happy? When was the last time you really felt good about yourself?

Also as for poetry, well have you ever tried stories rather then poetry? To be a poet is to truly be artistic minded. But not all people can do poetry.
Try some story writing. Maybe envision a life you truly want to live and take it from there? Like the life you ultimately want and fantasise with your writings.

Just some suggestions on trying to escape your depression. But I understand exactly how you feel. I also feel depressed and hopeless a lot of the time.
That is why I feel its important for depressed people to exchange ideas and see what alternative methods each can come up with to help themselves get better.

Nevermind the first part, as usual I'm just being an idiot...i thought someone was insulting me but I guess it was supposed to be a joke.....so now i feel like an idiot especially since I cared so much I had to make a comment about it in this thread.

But yeah I am depressed every day......the severity varies but its always there. I can never seem to really feel happy because even if I am enjoying myself I'm still having negative thoughts and stressing about whatevers on my mind...and I can't say I ever really remember feeling that great about myself.

And I don't really feel I'd have the energy to write any stories, I'm not very creative and lately its sometimes hard to even form reasonable thoughts let alone put them together into anything useful. I just feel Its beyond too late for me.....I mean its been going on so long I have tried lots of things but nothing really seems to help.

Ah well it happens. No worries.



Hmmm. I know what your saying. Do you feel like you have racing thoughts at times? Like you can never truly "switch off" and whatever you do, the negative thoughts still remains? I also feel that way. I think it is something to do with serotonin and its interesting to read how many members on WrongPlanet happen to have Bi-Polar or Depression. Let me ask but are you on anything to help? Medication? Have you ever gone for therapy?



Energy is a problem. You seem to be very self-critical of yourself. In some ways, reading your post is like an alter ego of me much of the time. As for it being too late, well you are 22 years old. Who knows? Maybe you will find your niche into something at some point.

What do you enjoy doing normally? Playing video games? Watching films? Anything in particular?

Yeah I would certainly say I have racing thoughts and it seems to never stop.....though lately sometimes I have no real thoughts just a bunch of clutter. I tried anti-depressants once and they made things worse so I decided I did not wanna take SSRIS again.....and I have tried counseling which has not seemed to really help much at all.

I enjoy listening to music, watching movies and some other things, but I am not even enjoying any of that as much anymore.

Well that is actually a symptom of Bipolar interestingly enough. A lot of those with Bipolar disorder have racing thoughts. I think AS and Bipolar is very much related.
However there are stronger anti-depressants out there. SNRI's tend to be a lot more effective I find then SSRI's. Also there is Lithium out there although that tends to be more of a last result cure. Personally if your that depressed and never happy, I think its worth seeing another doctor and trying to get some different medication. Something will eventually work at some point.

Counseling isn't really effective unless its the right counseling. I tend to find talking with other folks that have depression to be more effective.
Interesting hobbies. So what do you do if your not doing those hobbies? Just spend time on WrongPlanet most of the time?

Well I also have anxiety with my depression so it could be that as well....I am kind of concerned about trying a bunch of meds because I don't know how I would react and i already reacted badly to the SSRI's. ......and I don't really have any hobbies.

Ah yes. Anxiety also comes with depression. Well at the end of the day...you have to ask yourself but if there was a chance at getting better, even if it was trying a variety of medication, would that not be worth the risk? The chance not to feel like hell on a platter every day? Is it not worth trying?

As for hobbies I know how you mean. I don't really have any hobbies either. I think its ultimately depression. It makes one not bothered about dealing with things in life.
I don't know what else I can really say. But as I offered before, if you need to talk, feel free to PM me sometime.

Well I guess I don't see what could make it any better....I mean as far as I know if you take medication for stuff like that you have to constantly take it and if you quit the symptoms just return because all any medication can do is reduce symptoms.

But yeah I will if I get a chance. I've been on the computer for far too long today though.