Why cant i even achieve a basic level of

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competence in anything? I cant do maths. I cant organise stuff. I am always forgetting things, leaving doors open.

When I wash things a massive amount of water ends up everywhere. I am expected to do accounts but I am burnt out.

I cant even pretend to care what all those numbers on the sheet mean anymore. I just dont care enough to try and keep the numbers in my head when they wont stay there.

I have no money and I need new clothes. I have no idea how I am going to support myself in the future. I dont have anywhere to live that doesnt contain my parents. Therefore I dont have anywhere to call my own.
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You seem to have an interest in the eastern arts and philosophies, why don't you go into a related field?

Okay, you do need a little sorting out of things. How i did it a few years ago was this. Take one thing, the first thing that bothers you the most, the biggest problem. Leave other things for the time being, even if they seem crucial. First sort that thing out, then look at the next most important thing, and so on. There will be a little lagging behind, and things won't seem perfect or even acceptable for some time, but once you get over the major issues, you won't feel like you do today. There will be hope.

Try it out and see if it works. It did for me

you have lots of hobbies. maybe you can turn one of those into a job. i hate to recommend this, but one of my friends makes a good living between giving psychic readings, reselling antiques she picks up at garage sales, and renting out half of her house (make sure renters have good references). i only mention the psychic thing because two of your interests are amateur counseling and mysticism.

or if you have one of these illnesses (bipolar, depression, anxiety, schizoaffective, or schizophrenia) perhaps you could do what i do. it's called peer support. you help other folks deal with their recovery goals partly by being a good example.

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You recently made a post about being told that you seem to be a natural writer(I think it was you anyways) have you considered giving the idea of writing for a newspaper or something some thought?.

Thank you all of you for your helpful comments. I was really just venting, probably nobody could help me, unless they would buy me a house so I could have time alone and somewhere my cat could live with me.

Maybe i will go back to uni. I seem to be of an artistic temperament only, I just cant fit into that sort of "worker bee" mold, I cant get enough things done, even when I try my best.

Hey Zen Mistress!

I continually find myself in a similar situation--and you have my sympathies--regrettably I don't have too much advice!

Good luck sorting it all out--have you thought about academia and teaching?

Hope you're doing better!

--David

Thanks, David. Yes I have thought about academia. Not so much about teaching, I dont think I would be good at that. I, not really sure what to do, Im kind of lost. I dont fit in easily into any of the common roles out there, I am too different. And I am not really the sort of go-getter who starts their own business either. I dont know.

Just get a crappy job where there are no high expectations. That's what I do. I am a consistant hard worker who likes long hours so I have managed to do okay working s**t jobs. I have worked in a picture framing factory, was a chambermaid for many years and did a 5 year stint making pizzas. All you have to do is make a living so that you can maintain independance and autonomy. Who knows, you might enjoy mindless work. I kind of do.

^ That is my problem precisely. I have tried doing that but I have a terrible attention span and my ability to coordinate physical tasks is not good so I end up doing slow work and have great difficulty even putting that level of work out. I dont really know what is wrong with me, it is like the part of my brain that coordinates movements and tasks is pretty much missing. I would like an artistic job because I have trouble working within systems.

It's never easy, is it? For me the worst thing is starting a new job. Perhaps that's what forces me to become somewhat proficient at mundane tasks, the fear of failing and having to get and start another job. I have been at my current job for over 10 years even though intellectually I am atrophying and the pay sucks. Wish I could help!