One of my biggest pet peeves

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And sorry if this makes me sound like an as*hole but it's really my biggest pet peeve and I wonder if anyone else can relate.


It always pisses me off when I hear people b***h and moan about crap they get and judgments when they can do something about it but refuse to. I have an autistic friend who collects children shoes and longalls and he has gotten crap for it. But yet he b*****s about how people judge him for that but yet he talks about it to people when the solution is shut up about it and he won't get judgment. I want to tell him this but because he is too sensitive and takes things the wrong way so I can tell if I tell him this, he might think I am being judgmental and a horrible friend to him. But this is one of my pet peeves and it pisses me off when people do this. Heck when I got crap about my obsessions in school when kids started to tease me, I started to ignore them and I never complained to my mother. She would have just told me to stop talking about them and I won't get teased. I have that same attitude and it pisses me off when I hear others complain about getting crap about the obsessions when the simple solution is don't talk to them about it. That is where I don't feel sympathy for bully victims. f**k autism. Okay if people want to talk about their friggen interests lot of people frown upon or that is taboo or give them crap for, don't go bitching and moaning about the judgments they get and all that because it's avoidable. Just don't talk about them and keep it to themselves. Just like it used to piss me off when my ex complain about people judging him about his tench coat he had one and he refused to not wear it out in public so I told him to stop bitching about it then if he won't do a thing about it. God that behavior pissed me off.


I don't care if my friend reads this, at least he would know how I feel and he can just dump me if he wants to be a brick wall because it's not that hard to understand. I feel so NT when I can't be honest because I am so afraid of upsetting my own friends. Then I feel worse when I finally block them when I can't take it anymore and then I never want to unblock them because I feel too bad. Thank goodness me and this friend don't talk often because it would have driven me up the wall and block him and ignore his phone calls because I'd be too much of a coward to confront him.

God I am embarrassed about some of my own behavior because I used to be the same way. Then when I saw how annoying that was and realized I was doing it, I stopped because I didn't want to be a hypocrite. Oh yeah I am just realizing the irony in this post.

I'm eating a cereal consisting of rectangles of crunchy cinnamon things, and it's already making me sick. I have power to stop this by not finishing them till later, but I think I'll finish them now anyway... but I don't know why :S

Yep, I'm pretty intolerant of complaining when the complainer wants nothing to do with solving his/her own problem; when they simply wish to blame society, the people in the region, the spouse.....

I lost a, previously good, friend this way a couple years ago; her constant complaining and blaming (the people in this area of the country) made my spirits swirl down every time she did it and eventually she wanted to do it constantly. I had to ask her to stop when she did it and eventually we had nothing to talk about.

I have lots of other friends I can listen to when they talk about their problems because they are airing their issues with the intention of finding solutions; and guess what; they actually do solve lots of their problems in time. I think it has a lot to do with being willing to take responsibility for how they function in their own lives.

When you have something that you love or enjoy doing, you will, inevitably at some point, want to share it with others. This holds true whether or not the person in question is autistic.

And if that person is autistic, their hobby means the world to them; and if they can't share it, to some of us, that's the same as bottling oneself up entirely. Have you ever tried to live life, knowing that you just couldn't be yourself because you feel you are your (almost universally slammed) hobby? It's one of the worst, loneliest feelings imaginable. Your friend wants to talk about his interests with others because he's dying to make a connection, and the only way to do that is to bring it up and leave things to trial and error. I don't see how this isn't blatantly obvious.

For example, I'm a hu-u-u-uge fan of an old Super NES game called EarthBound. My sister hates it with a passion, but has never been able to provide a decent reason as to why - she's never even played it herself - and I often feel like she just says those things to piss me off. A lot of people I've met, whether online or in person, who I've mentioned this to, have a tendency to slam it without even giving it a fair shot.

See, that's a great big problem with society, and a lot of what makes life hell for us Aspies. This world is chock full of jackasses who can't even stop just for a millisecond and consider the possibility that if this person likes something to death, there may be something to that. You don't have to like what I like, but please don't blindly insult it.

I learned gradually that people just don't like a great majority of the things I'm into, or they at least don't care for it one-tenth as much as I do. So, ever since high school, I've just shut up about anything and everything I like. And look what that's turned me into: a terribly imbalanced, massively unhappy human being.

I say let your friend talk about his favorite things, maybe then he can avoid turning into what I've become.

I don't mind hearing my friend what he talks about, I just think he should stop talking about it to random strangers on the internet because he has gotten crap for it and then he gets upset by it. He should only talk to people about it who are cool with it and who don't give him crap but I don't like like seeing him whine about how mean people treat him because he won't stop talking about it and that's when it pisses me off. It be like me talking about my diaper fetish to my mother which I full well know she doesn't like and I know she finds it sick and twisted and gross and disgusting but I would have no right to b***h about her intolerance of it because I kept shoving it in her face when she makes the wrong comments about it. So the solution is I never discuss it with her and why would I?

Maybe your autistic friend doesn't understand that there's a time and a place and "safe" people to talk about his interests with, and that it's inappropriate to discuss those things openly with just anybody. When I was a teenager, I talked openly about sexual topics because I didn't understand that it made people uncomfortable and left me open for ridicule. It took many instances of my mom pulling me aside and telling me that I was being inappropriate for it to finally sink in.

I'm not sure if this applies to all people on the spectrum, but I know that it took me a very long time to learn what I can and can't say around which people. I admit that I'm still learning it, because when my family members want to tell me something private, they always have to remind me not to repeat it to people who they don't want their secrets being told to. Maybe your friend is the same way. If you still want to be his friend, you need to help him learn what he can and can't say around which people, and maybe give him a list of "safe" people - people who he can talk to about any topic without being judged for it, and be sure to remind him that you are one of those people.

oh it annoys me too. I don't get this culture of full disclosure and sincerity. why, why do I need to know all these things about people? just because they want to make a "statement". I wish we could all stick to "don't ask, don't tell", and basic stuff like being polite and appropriate. nobody needs to know anything they don't absolutely need to know.

I have lost an online friend too due to that. He likes to troll on forums and brags about it and he would troll on I2 (another forum I go to off and on) and he got crap for it from the members there. then he would whine about himself being picked on and people being mean to him and one of my other pet peeves is when people go around trolling others and post mean posts and put people down but then b***h about others doing that to them. So I called him out on his hypocrisy and guess what, he removed me as his Facebook friend, stopped IMing me on MSN and he started to troll me on there by posting insults and I just ignored it. That just shows he was never my true friend and true friends never get mad at their friends for the truth or criticism. speaking of that, it scares me that my other autistic friend isn't my true friend but if he is, then he wouldn't get mad at me for telling him what I want to tell him.

But now he is back on I2 under a new account and I am not sure who he is there anymore but I don't really care. He seems to have grown up now all of a sudden but he hasn't really changed since he managed to still insult me about my skin color. I don't even remember what his username is because I don't care.


At least I had the balls to be honest and up front with him. He seemed like a tough guy just by the way he acted online. So him being sensitive too being made fun of didn't make any sense and it was confusing when he had been telling me "Dude it's the internet" regarding internet issues and what people say. He like contradicted himself and now I wonder if he was just playing the tough guy when he had always been sensitive all along. Sometimes people play tough online but under their skin, they are sensitive people and sometimes you can tell because they do a poor job hiding it because they show their sensitivity. So I think their meanness is just them playing the tough guy.

I agree 100%, as I've become much like this myself. Slammed for the things I do, and forced to not discuss or share them with those around me IRL. It is indeed, "one of the worst, loneliest feelings imaginable."

I have that problem too. Some things I know I can't talk about but there are things I either still bring up or respond to that later I think I should have just kept my mouth shut, like admitting I can't ride a bike to my friends if the subject comes up and then having to put up with them telling me I "can" or that I "never tried".

Totally agreed with you, kenisu.

If it's something harmless like a game or a movie or something, one should be able to share what they want about it as long as it's within reason. I mean, NTs get away with this type of stuff all the time, why can't aspies? I've heard NTs say some pretty crazy stuff and get away with it, yet I say something in the same manner and get crap for it.

People just tend to be so into what's mainstream and what's not that there is no room for anything else. That is especially true today.

I'd be just as annoyed if an NT bitched about crap they get for their interests but yet keep talking about it. I wouldn't want to hear their bitching anymore. They either deal with the crap they get and not b***h about it or stop talking about their interests they get crap for. They can't have both ways.