Had a mental heath doctor's appointment yesterday

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TBH the only reason I went is because my SSI is under evaluation and it had to show that I was going to the doctor regularly.

The doctor is also my sister's doctor. I told him just about everything I've said about me on this site.

It seemed liked he didn't listen to anything I said, except that I've been suicidal in the past and that I've been thinking about it on and off in the present.

He gave me no treatment and recommended me to be admitted to a mental hospital. I obviously declined, as I been to too many "hospitals" and none of them ever seemed to help. It's more like a babysitting service for the people with mental problems.

He said he wouldn't treat me any further if I didn't go. Great, I knew these people wouldn't be much help.

Now I have to find a new doctor and I'm back to square one.

Dude, screw psychiatrists. I've been to, in serious estimates, about 50-60 "mental health" professionals, and probably under 10 have been helpful in any way at all, and probably 20 have been harmful. So yeah, screw them, for the most part.

Anyway, if you want a cheap way to feel better, work out. It's sweet. Find something you like doing, just try various stuff and see what happens. Psychologically and physiologically working out helps a lot. Physiologically it releases endorphins and hormones and all that stuff into your body, and you feel better because of them. Psychologically you feel better about yourself, as it's all about making goals and achieving them, but what's great is, if you're doing it by yourself, you have all the time in the world to get to your goal. So you kinda always "win" eventually if you keep trying. Seriously, my $27 a month gym membership is pretty much one of the best things I ever did this year. I just go there when I get bored or lonely or whatever and go, just do stuff. Lift, hit a punching bag pretending to be Baki the Grappler, practice on the slideboard for skating, play basketball by myself with a medicine ball, great fun.

For me, the gym thing sorta stemmed from me having such bad self image that I just sorta got pissed and decided to change it, and for me, it was something within my power. I don't know what to really do with my childhood, etc, but I figure I should change what I don't like, and have the ability to.

Obviously, it doesn't like, discuss your issues like psychiatry does, but it's very therapeutic in itself. For discussing your issues, honestly, join a good church with like, an honest and good priest or pastor and get counseling from him, it's free, and they're pretty much always less douchey than psychs, and if you don't like them for whatever reason, they can't commit you or give you drugs or whatever. I mean, if you're Christian, even nominally so, you should try to get back to church again, that's my suggestion. I personally like the Orthodox church I'm going to now, as there's less people and less social component than my old nondenominational church. My nondenominational church was very much about social stuff, so you might make "friends" and have a social group or whatever there kinda easy, but that's honestly not what church is supposed to be about.

But that is my advice. Best regards.

Will you stop getting disability benefits if you don't have a doctor? Hopefully you will find a better one. I had to go to Cognitive Behavior Therapy to comply with my psychiatrist. It was such a waste of time, but I figured if I didn't I would lose her support for benefits.
I hope your next doctor takes a little more initiative. He should have at least considered trying new medications.