Yeah, it pisses me off too.
My MIL blames my son for everything his sisters do. Not that the boy is an angel or anything-- he's not. He's a 4-year-old; he used his halo for a Frisbee. But he gets blamed for everything because he's annoying (talks too much, does not understand the meaning of "be quiet" until he has had his say, gets so intent on what he is doing that he does not notice things around him such as other people walking by).
His little sister is the badly-behaved one-- but she's cute and sweet and looks you in the eye and smiles a lot and has better conversational skills. She knows how to play people already so gets away with murder with Grandma.
He is always getting yelled at, seldom hears a kind word from Grandma. Grandpa either-- but Grandpa seldom has a nice word for any child-- and at least they have fun together playing video games on a daily basis.
Right now I'm in their house, so we have to put up with it. I try to give the boy a little extra love when Grandma's not looking.
The biggest worry is what it does to the kid's self-esteem. And to their respect for the parent being accused of teaching bad behavior. Your hubby needs to get it through his head that, at least to a certain extent, this is something you guys just can't help. You can teach yourself and your son to make an extra effort to focus on what's being said, but it's never going to be perfect. He (hubby) needs to grow some compassion and some understanding of what's going on and the impact of his behavior.
Be careful with marriage counselors. Some of them are AWFUL.
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"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
09 Nov 2011, 11:19 pm
