I'm dead.

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Back in February of '09, I tried killing myself. Spent the night in a psychiatric ward. Been severely depressed ever since. I didn't have the balls.
I have no value to the human race, no goal, no reason for anyone to care about me. No reason to care about myself either.
Genetic liability. That's my speciality on the G.I. Joe packaging.
For all of my life, I haven't even come close to anything that could be considered smart. That's what people call me, small. I'm really an idiot.
All of the people I know either try to lift my spirits up with tired phrases or as*holes who have nothing better to do but to make others miserable
I died that day in 2009. This is my divine punishment; to eke out a life of misery.
Life has no meaning, for me or anyone else.

If you have ever seen, spoken to or been seen by another human being, you have no right to assume that you have no value to the human race. Think about the times that something someone has done in your sight has had a positive affect on you and they never knew it. You write things here and though some people may never respond, they might read and be positively affected... "hey I feel the same way, I'm not as alone as I thought, etc." It's mighty selfish of you to assume you exist on a metaphorical island, don't you think?

I sympathize with you. I know you can find the strength and get through this. However low your opinion of yourself right now, God created you out of His Love and He has great plans for you. Sometimes calamities can seem like fire and vengeance, when inwardly they are light and mercy, but it's only after the passage of time that we gain a different perspective and realize it. After every dark night comes a bright day, so don't lose hope and keep your head up.

Religion is for people who don't want to wake up.

Life can be sh***y, and people do let each other down. However, just because life is rough now doesn't mean it will continue that way.

I've had some psych ward stays...they're pretty freaky. I've come out of the two I've have feeling absolutely raw, like I had no skin left emotionally. I don't know what you've been through or how you feel exactly, but you are not alone, not one bit.

And I can say from experience when you're depressed and see yourself as nothing, it really hurts being around people, It hurts healing. But wow, if you can push through and even just hang on by your fingernails, life can be so strange and funny and crazy and weird.

I just hope you feel better, and keep on pushing. I suffered for most of my early teen years up until a couple of years ago with severe depression (and probably before that), and you are not alone. There are millions of folks who feel terrible, so don't feel that you're a mess because you're depressed. If that means you're a mess, well, then I guess there are a lot of us .

Keep us posted! I hope you can find a little corner until things feel a bit more manageable. I hope this corner of the 'Net is a help for you!

An individual's self-worth comes from God, their ability to reflect His Attributes (e.g. Kindness, Compassion, Mercy, Knowledge), and their capacity to Love Him. Attaching regard to anything else, be it money, popularity, etc. then the self-esteem suffers, because ultimately none of these things are permanent or endure. The Love of God is the one thing nobody can ever seize from a person or infringe upon.

"When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."

You know, proselytizing to someone who's already claimed agnosticism isn't exactly in the religious cult handbook, as far as I know. And debating religion with someone who may well be suicidal is only antagonistic. I believe somewhere in the recruitment section it says something about fostering mutual respect, focusing on shared beliefs and being a living example of the principles of the faith.

By the way, I happen to be a practicing member of a religious organization, I just don't believe that trying to cram pizza down the throat of someone who insists they're not hungry is particularly nice (or smart or good or wise or decent), no matter how starving they appear to be. Just sayin'.

This thread has nothing to do with religion. You, sir, are trolling.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37OWL7AzvHo&NR=1[/youtube]
Seriously, what's the point of hanging on by the fingernails when there is nothing to hang on to?

Eh, same here. I exist for few reasons other than to serve as a repository for all the inconvenient genetics my ancestors could pass down. So what? Yeah I have problems, I was born with problems. That, in my opinion, gives me license to do whatever I want to be happy, as long as what I do doesn't negatively impact someone else. I am free. You are free too. There must be something you want to do, something that will make you happy. Do it. In all my psych ward visits the best advice I ever got came from another patient: "This is your insanity. It is the most perfect reality for you. Live up to it."

So whatever it is you long to do, no matter how crazy it is... just do it. But don't harm yourself. If you weren't supposed to exist, you never would have.

I don't know the answer. I really wish I could say something that would suddenly make everything better, but I can't. But I do know that depression often comes in waves and once a wave passes, you'll feel better for a while. In the midst of depression, it can feel like there are no answers and there never will be.

Maybe questioning your value to the human race is looking at the problem from the wrong direction. Maybe part of your value is that you have lived the life you have. You have experience with depression that is different from what others have experienced. You can describe what it feels like from your perspective. There are others here who may suffer from depression and have made their own efforts to fight it, but have not succeeded. It may be your take on the problem that helps them start climbing out of their own hole. I think often I make posts here because there is something therapeutic in trying to help another person. My depression eases from trying to help others.

Maybe what you have to offer isn't something that will be recorded in history, but that doesn't make it valueless. You do have value to the people who can hear your voice and read your words.

Keep writing here. We'll keep reading your posts. Maybe things will get better soon.

Good luck,

How can any of you help me? I already died.

I'm not sure you could have posted that if you did. Or why you would have, even if you could. Must be at least SOME life left in ya.

Wish I could just say "chin up" and "everything will be okay" or "it can't get any worse", all of which are, if not totally false, at least just presumptuous. All I can say is that from my experience, if you have any amount of pain, it came from some experience that is worth sharing to someone else who is going through or has been through something similar. You are not alone in your pain (this I know) and your value to the human race is in getting through it so that you can show someone else how to do the same.

Perhaps you'll use this pain to help the next Einstein to get through his, which will bring great joy to the entire world and then you will be the greatest unsung hero of the known world... or maybe you'll just to give a smile to some homeless kid and get him through the day long enough to help his kid sister cross the street and not die so that their mother understands the value of her life and doesn't off herself landing that kid into foster care and eventually turning her into a serial killer who offs half of the class of science geeks who might have eventually solved the problem of world peace... I could go on and on and on into infinity with that train of seemingly ridiculous thought, but I've made my point.

The fact is, you have no idea how you have affected people who have seen this just by your simple act of sharing it or how you have affected many others with your very existence and day to day actions. Your life is not a waste unless you choose to waste it by wasting yourself, and if you continue to live it (even embrace it?) the effect you have on the people around you will only increase. Sometimes it will be positive and sometimes negative, but that's the nature of humanity... and IMHO, it all adds to the stream of life and its interestingness.

I'm no good with advice now and then. I do try my best. But you sound a lot like me when I was younger. I rather not give the "life is to precious speech" or the "your life is important speech" or the "look at who you're going to hurt speech" either. But what I can give you is a simple word and that's is to find yourself.
We are all lost in some way here and there. But the ultimate price is to find yourself. I don't think we're born living. I do think we're born dead. And maybe this sounds a bit morbid to say this in front of someone who wants to die. But I think its the right thing to say because its the right realization. In our life, we have to fight and strive and struggle to find the life inside of us. We don't just automatically know who we are, we don't just automatically know we're living. It takes years and years to figure these things out.

I know your frustrated because you have failed or you feel you have failed at some part of your life. But that's what life is. To fail, but to get back up to fail again. We will not always succeed, no matter how hard we try to succeed. But what makes life important is the fact that we fail and the fact that we succeed. It takes years to find what we succeed at. We can't just automatically be born with a special gift. We have to find that gift.

I like to say, "I have flaws, but because I have flaws I am perfect"

The same thing applies here, "I have failed, but because I have failed I have succeeded"

To be human means to learn from our failures and to succeed from there. Instead of hiding in a corner, instead of crying, instead of wishing to die. You should be trying to find the life inside of you. Because the truth is we're all dead inside, what we need is to find the fire that gives us life. You can only truly succeed if you learn from what has made you fail in the past.

You need to stop living with your head in the sand like an ostrich.

I'm no good with advice now and then. I do try my best. But you sound a lot like me when I was younger. I rather not give the "life is to precious speech" or the "your life is important speech" or the "look at who you're going to hurt speech" either. But what I can give you is a simple word and that's is to find yourself.
We are all lost in some way here and there. But the ultimate price is to find yourself. I don't think we're born living. I do think we're born dead. And maybe this sounds a bit morbid to say this in front of someone who wants to die. But I think its the right thing to say because its the right realization. In our life, we have to fight and strive and struggle to find the life inside of us. We don't just automatically know who we are, we don't just automatically know we're living. It takes years and years to figure these things out.

I know your frustrated because you have failed or you feel you have failed at some part of your life. But that's what life is. To fail, but to get back up to fail again. We will not always succeed, no matter how hard we try to succeed. But what makes life important is the fact that we fail and the fact that we succeed. It takes years to find what we succeed at. We can't just automatically be born with a special gift. We have to find that gift.

I like to say, "I have flaws, but because I have flaws I am perfect"

The same thing applies here, "I have failed, but because I have failed I have succeeded"

To be human means to learn from our failures and to succeed from there. Instead of hiding in a corner, instead of crying, instead of wishing to die. You should be trying to find the life inside of you. Because the truth is we're all dead inside, what we need is to find the fire that gives us life. You can only truly succeed if you learn from what has made you fail in the past.

You need to stop living with your head in the sand like an ostrich.

You think I'm going to be a hero? "Hero" is a dead word, because they're aren't any. Only you and the villains.