I feel sad and lonely right now...

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I not really that lonely. But I feel very lonely right now. I have a great family that cares and I am thankful. But Im 14 I should be out with friends and talking to people and meeting new people all the time. But I dont. I dont have friends or a socail life. I hang out with my mom every week end. Which is ok because Im glad I have her but friend wise, shes all I have. I really want friends but I never know what to say to people so I dont say any thing. I keep seeing all these posts on WP about people being sad and depressed and lonely. I dont want to be like that when I grow up. Im afired that my family will die out and I will be left behind, a sad lonely person. I have just been thinking about all this tonight and it has made me very sad. I dont want to be a sad lonely adult. I want my life to have meaning! Does being an aspie mean theres no way to aviod deprestion in adulthood?

I'm 25 and I'm happy all day every day. I have a brother whos only a year and a half younger than me so he always made friends for me. I got along good with friends up until I was around 17 cuz they started becoming more and more social. Suddenly it was no longer about getting drunk and doing crazy s**t on the weekends, instead they all just wanted to sit around socialising and I couldn't be a part of that. At around 19 I got into growing mushrooms and weed and stuff and thats what led me to discover I have a passion for science. I started learning and got into a university chemistry course I've been learning science related things ever since. I shoulda focused on my strengths and got into this from the start. Since your only 14 though you might as well get a group of friends. Thats around the age I came outta my shell and started hanging around with people. Somewhere between the age of 14-15 I rapidly changed from being a shy, quiet, loner to being a fearless, crazy bastard that got along with everyone. Its about time for you to start drinking too, that was by far the highlight of my life when I was 14. When I turned 15 I discovered weed and that became the highlight of my life for the next 4 or 5 years. I bet when you get a few friends and start going out getting drunk with them you'll have a great time. You have it all wrong if you think that having aspergers makes you bound to become depressed. Its the other way around. With aspergers you have a legitimate reason to be an outcast and not conform to the system. Neurotypical people might be able to socialise normally, but they always feel that pressure to conform to the norm. I know because I was only diagnosed at 21 and up until then, I felt the pressure.

Kaelynn, first up, I feel for you about the fear of becoming a lonely adult, I had a similar fear (I thought I'd become a crazy cat lady). Secondly, only do what you feel is ok for you regarding group behaviors (if you decide to hang out with people your own age).

Regarding alcohol and drug use that has been suggested by SkipNip, I wouldn't suggest it as a way to make friends. Your brain is still developing and (to my knowledge) is at an important time in development. If you want to try anything, do it in moderation with people you can trust.

Regarding the original subject, I thought I'd be alone all my life but when I put myself a little out of my comfort zone I met one special person in rl and lots of people online. It can take a while to find people who fit definition of friend and some people use the term very loosely (by comparison to most Aspies I know).

Remember, quality is better than quantity any day of the week. Friends will come in time, teenage years can be really hard times to make real friends. College (if you're wanting to do that) can be a great place to try and make friends if you have time for clubs and groups. Giving yourself time to rest is really important too.

Good luck Kaelynn

lots of 14 year olds don't have a life- doesn't mean your whole future is about to go down the pan! so much changes once you leave school, your life could literally take any direction. it's really not worth worrying about(:

oh and the reason it seems like all aspies are depressed is because the many happy/fulfilled ones are out living their lives instead of posting prolifically on here

If I could be 14 tomorrow and starting high school, I would take a martial arts class at a dojo or gym. Regardless or not whether there are students who bully you or not. It is not about fighting.

The discipline and the grounding they will teach you in a traditional art will help you throughout life in many ways if you stick with it. That is more important than anything they will ever teach you in school. And it will get and keep you in shape, along with making friends and having that in common with the other students.

Staying active and pushing yourself will improve your confidence.

Focus on what you like about yourself and what you enjoy doing. The more you focus on the positives the more positive you will become.

What's right for some people your age is not necessarily right for you. Whether on the spectrum or not, some people are more introverted and keep to themselves, while others are the extroverted 'life of the party' types. Just take it one day at a time, do what you're most comfortable with, and don't try to force yourself (or let others force you) into anyone else's ideas of what you "should" or "should not" be doing. Life is too short to try being someone you're not. Life still has a lot of meaning for those of us who are more introverted. How? By having and doing things in life that are important and meaningful to yourself and others. e.g. working for good causes, helping others in need, doing important research, making discoveries, contributing to society, etc. Life isn't all about how many friends you have, or how socially active you are. Think about what I've said, and sleep on it. I hope you'll feel better about things tomorrow.