I care too much about what other people think????

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Before last year, even though school was hard, I wasnt totally bullied or anything because I was so quiet (practically mute) and was a bit of a loner, so i didnt go out much. But everyone kept thier business to themselves really, and didnt b***h or gossip about me t all, I would have had a recollection of anything like that.

But after last year, I started to go out more, and also new people came into our year becasue they skipped a year, and then all of a sudden a lot of people changed. One guy kept showing off in front of the new people by gossiping and throwing papaer balls at me and basically being a dick. Girls who i thought were nice and liked me all of a sudden turned sour behind my back when they thought I wasnt listening. People who werent even in my year were bicthing about me. It also didnt helped that now I am going out more, I got really drunk one paticular night and hooked up with a LOT of guys, so now I kinda have a rep as a slut.

So thanks to last year, I went from being ok with being around people and friends (becasue obviosuly being an Aspie, being around people is never easy, ha) to a completely paranoid, worried girl (or "b***h" or "weirdo" as some certain people are calling me now) where I sercretly listen into whispered conversations in class in case it was about me, espielly after a nite out, where i might have done something. And usually those conversations arent about me, so that how bad i am, that I get so worked up if there is something like that going on in class. I have now turned to smoking on nights out, and more drinking, and as well as being paranoid with whispers, I have turned more into myself and not talking to much people like I used to, becasue I have just lost all respect for some people in that year, so now people are saying that I have changed to an ignorant person. When it wasnt that at all, I didnt do anything wrong to anybody, it was these people who changed me for the worse again.

So anyway my mother was shouting at me there now, coz i was whinging about how she made this big joke at the school office and it wasnt really funny, and it was in front of these two guy who made my life hell last year, so I didnt want them to go back to their mates about wat she said. She got really pissed off and said that I need to stop caring about wat other people think. But i how do you do that though? Coz i know that if i do stop, they will still snigger about it, and also go tell other people about it to, so taht tehy would start disliking me. That has already happened as well, where people who didnt know me at all, dislikes me thanks to some individuals.


Wat do I do? Please help!

PS: Sorry for bad spelling, my hand is a bit sore.

You're in highschool? I think i'm overly concerned with what people think of me as well. My feelings are easily hurt by things like lack of acceptance or if I feel i'm treated differently than others. It has caused me a ton of grief and still does.

In highschool this stuff doesn't matter--if someone harasses you--seriously just tell them to stop--and if they don't, report it to the principal or anyone in the main office. These are some things I totally regret doing. It ended up with me doing poorly in a class unable to concentrate while they're having a blast at my expense.

Also the word "ignorant" is kind of unusual here. Are you from the U.S.? Normally people from my state use the word when someone is being racist, prejudice, or judgmental. Ignorant normally means a lack of knowledge on a subject.. what could the word apply to if you just stopped talking to someone? No one is forced to talk to anyone in highschool.

Your mom is right, she has to stop existing because of what I presume are a couple of ignorant teenagers? Do they pay the bills? Do they help clean the house? Do they come to school to talk to teachers (or whatever reason your mom was up there that day) they are incredibly irrelevant to what she decides to do.

If they made your life hell, tattle on, tell a teacher, have them get kicked out of highschool. So many idiots get by and just become just as obnoxious in more serious areas of life than highschool. Make a fuss about something if they mess with you, they're only an individual each--you're an individual as well and entitled to just as much respect as they are.

Honestly I would care what a 4 year old thinks of me before I cared what a teenager thought of me, as 4 year olds generally have an uncorrupted view of things and teenagers generally suffer from psychotic delusions pertaining to that matter.

Hi there.

It sounds like you've gone too far, socially speaking, to IMMEDIATELY stop caring what other people think.

You say you've started "going out more." What do you do when you go out? Do you hang out with people who actually still like you (both before and after the nastiness from certain people at school began)? Does your own behavior "justify" what they think about you? These questions are not meant to attack you--just to make you think honestly/objectively about what's going on.

Next: who do you want to like you? Specific people or just to be "liked" in general? Is this "rep" you have supposedly gotten going to damage any possibilities of having any friends, or just make some people (who are probably not "angels" themselves) gossip about you? Is what they say going to get you in trouble with teachers, administrators, etc.?

Or, would you rather just go back to being ignored (that is, not harassed)?

I was bullied in grade school, due to NOTHING I had done--I was shy and quiet, and people attacked that. Later, when I learned to ignore them (and when I started middle and high school--more classes during the day = more people, which for some reason helped--maybe I was able to blend in better), it faded. However, that was my experience. I know with most people it's the reverse for some reason.

Why have I asked all this? Here's why:

-If you can still enjoy going out/hanging out with CERTAIN others who HAVEN'T turned on you, try to hang around them as often as possible at school. I realize this may be difficult due to having assigned classes, but whenever you can, stay with those who treat you okay.

-If your teachers are not coming down on you for a "rep", tell them about the bullying in the classroom and request that they put a stop to it. If they won't listen, go higher. Yes, I know this doesn't always help...but try (let me know what the response is).

-Bottom line: you need to pick and choose whose opinion(s) you care about. If you can find a group that still treats you okay, care about THEIRS and learn to ignore what the jerks say. Doing this is far from easy--it took me a while. For your own peace of mind, try. You could try this: tell yourself "There are some people who are still okay with me--therefore those who aren't must be wrong. Why should I care what the 'wrong' people think?"

Next (again): if everyone has turned on you, this may be somewhat harder. In that case, try telling yourself "they have chosen to misunderstand me, and people like that are not worth bothering with." YOU know what you have and haven't done, but trying to prove the truth to people who won't listen is an exercise in futility (believe me, I've been there, done that, many times).

With that being said, take steps to stop the overt bullying if possible. Go to the authorities (police) if you have to (if it's getting abusive). That is so you can get through the rest of school with your sanity intact. From some of the phrases you used, I assume you're in Great Britain or Australia? Sorry, I am in the U.S. and can't distinguish dialects in print. How much time do you have left before you graduate?

I hope this helped somewhat. It really sucks when people make unjust assumptions that aren't true and try to make your life miserable for who knows what reasons.

Hang in there, and feel free to write again if you want to (posting, PM, whatever).

Take care.