Alone and struggling

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I am feeling deeply alone with my struggles. When I reach out the people around me respond as though I am relentless, too needy. I very rarely ask for help, much less than I should and much less than others ask of me. So when I do ask for help I REALLY need help. They just believe that since I've survived every other time, I'll be fine.

So I don't know where to turn and I feel so alone.

Tomorrow I'm going to my first Aspergers support group. I am nervous about it, but hope to feel like I belong somewhere, that someone can see the fighting that is my life.

After two months of not feeling like I want to die, I am heading straight back there. Back on my mind 24/7.

Any supportive words greatly appreciated.

thanks for reaching out, alexi. reaching out takes courage, especially when past efforts haven't been met with welcome.

if the suicidal thoughts become a plan, don't hesitate to call the national suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-talk.

in the meantime, try distracting yourself from thoughts of suicide, because they can be very painful and just make things worse. listen to your favorite music, take a walk in the park, do a hobby, or whatever it takes.

All too often people with mental health issues dump their troubles on the people around them and/or expect the people around them to solve all of the troubled persons problems. This is not just a spectrum problem--NTs do it too. When people are having a tough time with their mental health issues, they need to see a good professional therapist and/or psychologist/psychiatrist. Our friends, relatives, co-workers, etc. have problems of their own, and don't need the added stress of trying to deal with our stuff, too, and all without professional training.

I found that out over many years with my own problems. Unfortunately, none of the therapists or docs I was taken to as a child were any help, and neither were the ones I went to on my own as an adult. I finally had to develop my own coping methods, as I won't go the drug route. The drugs I was prescribed as a child didn't help, and had unpleasant side effects. My research on depression drugs as an adult only confirms that they all have the potential for unpleasant, or even dangerous side effects, and they often don't work. Also, some of them are addictive. I have found in the past that I often get side effects from drugs, without getting any benefits from them, and I want to avoid drug addiction, so I will give them a pass.

The non-drug coping methods that have worked best for me are:

1. A change in living circumstances from living with relatives, to living alone. What a stress reducer!

2. Music. That really does help some.

3. Humor. Read, or listen to, or watch something funny. That does help.

4. Keep busy with work and interests. It will distract you from your problems, at least for a while.

5. Read a book, watch TV, or listen to the radio. It will distract you for a while.

6. Exercise. It releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosting biochemicals made by our own bodies. Unfortunately, my health issues make that one hard for me to do, but I do use 2 thru 5, and 1 has done a lot for me. When I was younger and in better health, I was able to walk for long distances. Although I didn't do it that often, it was nice on those occasions when I chose to do it. I also rode my bike a lot back then, but with really bad knees I can do neither long walking or bike riding now.

Give all 6 of these coping methods a try, and you can still see a therapist or doc if you want. Just because the shrinks didn't work out for me, doesn't mean one of them won't work for you. And remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau

In ever up hill climb there are valleys where we retrace. You are less than 24 hours away from that support group that proves you aren't alone. If it helps, I know this helps me, I watch that membership counter up in the upper left hand corner. It steadily climbs upwards. I read on here about people who have struggled with this, knowing what they had, others like myself just coming to this discovery late in life that the reason they always seemed different, felt different, reacted differently is because they have this condition and that in some sense because they are different. For me, its honestly made things easier as I've started to understand this. Means there is a reason. It's something I can learn to handle with more understanding. Sure I've had bouts of anger at the fact I've made it to the age I am and no one noticed and yes I caught a lot of hell over what turn out to be symptoms. I've also had bouts of sadness at the people that I hurt, the missed opportunities I've had, pain I've inflicted on myself. Regardless, I'm here, your there, we are both suffering from a condition. It could be worse, but yes, it could be better.

Hang in there, if nothing else, I'll stick to what I know rather than find myself in a situation even more unfamiliar than I deal with now.

I'm around if you need help.

Nature
Green therapy works. Research shows just 30mins a day out in a natural environment will do your mental heath good. Its hard to do anything if you are depressed but if you can drag yourself into a sunny green place to wonder at how amazing Australia is, then you got sun, blue skies, sea, trees and birds and frogs to look at and talk to. Go to the zoo and watch baby animals. Look in the eyes of lots of animals and say hello, always lifts my spirits.

Projects
Projects are good. New hobbies? Making stuff? Growing and nurturing stuff? Volunteer at a soup kitchen? Volunteer on an environmental project or a community clean up? Offer to sort out an elderly persons garden?
Help someone else? Again, that might lift your spirits. The physical exercise will also release endorphins.

People
Therapy can be really helpful for many people, either face to face or keeping asking loads of questions on lots of forums.

Good luck with the support group.

Grin and send people emoticons, look ->>>>>

Bizarrely these little things make me smile!

oh no Alexi theres more



they all want you to keep your spirits up

x

How did the support group go?