I've dug myself too far in.....

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...It really feels like that. I am 24 my social skills have never been worse. I have never been this f*****g depressed. I have never felt this stressed and exhausted. I f****d up college. I don't have any friends and no romance.

My whole life has been life this, except I usually had at least 1 friend. My parents always thought things would get better for me. But now I am a grown adult, and my life just keeps getting worse. Keeps getting more complicated, but I am still as alone as ever.

Its like now its either I have to really die, or become a famous rockstar to salvage the rest of life, because f**k iv wasted the past 10 years. I am so dissapointed in myself. I had a giant chance of a lifetime in college to reinvent myself and get out of my comfort zone but I f****d it up.

I really f****d up. My whole life has just been s**t. Of course I have a sh***y attitude and low self-esteem. Of course I don't have any real friends or a girlfriend. f*****g of course. Man my whole I has been depressing as s**t, but I always kept going along with everything, trying to put on a good attitude. That has gotten me the f*****g nowhere exactly where I am right now.

I don't have a clue how to get past this. I dont know where to go or what to do. Iv bottled up so much of my negative emotions and so many sh***y experiences, that my mind is f****d up. I must need a life-coach, someone to instruct and motivate me 24/7

I could have used a life coach/mentor last year

But now I'm just alone, with aspergers, dealing with PTSD, with no god damn money.

I hope that things will improve for both of you.

For starters, I have been there too; screwed up college, relationships, life, everything big time, BUT that was 44 years ago. Now a retired engineer. Relationships still semi-crap, have PTSD now & AS, of course, but did get a college degree and have a relatively good career. After the initial college fiasco and several disastrous relationships, I moved far away from home, cut all previous personal relationships including family, got a job and basically became a hermit for a few years trying to get my head on straight. Ultimately, I went back to school and got a degree and an engineering job.

The most important thing sometimes is to distance yourself from your old life, both physically and mentally, and to give yourself a fresh start. This doesn't solve everything, but sometimes it helps.

^ that is what I am kind of doing right now

Also trying to see a therapist to help me become organized.