some things people have said replaying through my head

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I'm very agitated and anxious right now.

Because of my OCD, I keep 'hearing' things going through my head:

"No, that's a BILL problem" - my brother to me when we discussing two years ago about the fact that I took my meds incorrectly because would sleep through my nighttime Clozaril dosage. It was like a declaration, and he was wrong.

My brother also barged into my home several years ago when I had asked for something for Christmas that couldn't be given at Christmastime because it was not freeze-tolerant: "You DON'T...." ask for presents early. Like I was stupid not to know that already. And he seemed angry about it. (A friend of mine got something from her mom for Christmas a few months ago, so it's not like this is universal.)

My family is a royal pain in the ass at times.

I don't quite get what your trying to say here are you saying you have racing thoughts?
or that you hear voices going through your heat?
or that you have a poor family relationship?
or that your upset because of something your family did, so upset you can hear yourself think and your obsessing over it?

When I get like that I just mindlessly absorb as much "legitimate" information as possible (and if that is impossible I count things like digits of pi).

I replay conversations in my mind at least an hour a day. I hate it and I get angry because of it since all the conversations are generally directed at me in a negative tone. Just an hour ago I was sitting at my table trying to listen to my mom but all I could think about was my friend telling me (two years ago) how I'm not happy ever. All I can think about is what I should have told her back, like "it is hard to be happy when I have a friend like you". Of course all I did was stare at her and continue our conversation like nothing happened. She is a b****. Needless to say, I am not friends with her anymore.


Idk what helps it besides relaxation techniques and meds. Therapy hasn't helped me yet.

Not really racing thoughts. I don't hear voices in the schizophrenic/schizoaffective way. What people say goes through my head in a different way. Our family seems to think it perfect sometimes, it seems to me, but it isn't.

The last "or" statement is approximately correct.

Recurring thoughts. I get it. Not much you can do about it. It will stop eventually. Probably.

Your brother or whatever sounds like a dick.

Ok I get it internal thoughts are being annoying. In that case that's a normal Aspie thing.

Probably true. I would say a jerk.

Other things go through my head, too. My sister, brother-in-law, brother, and brother's gf didn't like it when I would put out email regarding what I would like for Christmas or birthdays. You kjnow they said it? ... My BIL took me out for lunch to tell me, saying they didn't want to make me depressed years before so they didn't say it then, but they gotta tell the kids this, too. OK, I admit I was extremely anxious, very depressed, and somewhat paranoid for years, so I can see why they might not want to bring up something like this, but to me the fact that he took me out to lunch suggested that it was awfully damned important, more serious than I would have guessed. To me it sounds like they overblew the issue.

When I told a friend (who also has OCD) this, she said "HOW OLD ARE YOU". I told a peer support worker this (he also has OCD), and later when I brought up my BIL, the peer support worker said said "Was he the one who belittled you?"