i don't know whether to kill me or the dog or that woman who snuck up behind and yelled, "I wonder if you would mind picking that up." I picked up the last two, how was I to know he would make a third? and she went on and on and on, real loud, right int he middle of the street. and i showed her the bag with 2 others but she kept yammering.
and last night, i was coming back with dawg, and i dropped the leash when we got off the elevator, as usual. when i was unlocking my door, the couple next door opened their door and made some kind of "Oh No!" pantomime and said "Back, Arnie (their dog) back!" - the wife said too me, 'your dog is off-leash.' so i opened my door, put my dog inside and said 'there you go.'
the thing is, i've been stalked and watched and pranked and you name it, for my whole life. and now it feels like Here We Go Again. The only safety is to stay inside. But how to do that with a dog. He's 11 yo. Nobody wants him. And the one night I got somebody to take him, we both had a nervous breakdown, me and dawg, i mean.
okay, so i have him on leash at all times now. even standing in front of my own door, which is stupid. and i'll have to watch dawg like a hawk and make sure he didn't drop an extra marble. does this make me feel safe? no.
call me paranoid, sure, but just to show my face was enough to get punched at one point. and ridiculed etc. in school, kids used to make a big circle around me and make catcalls. a long time ago? yes, but it went on and took more adult forms. it never stopped.
i'm shaking from insides out.