storing anger.

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this is what i do all the time because i got no one to go to, to talk about it with.
my parents won't even take even one ounce of my negativaty and brush it off as complaining.

but this anger i've been storing up has lately been getting overwhelming and i got ager stored up from several years even before i moved to pennsylvaina 7 or 8 years ago.

and my recent fight with napster my most hated enemy is bringing up so much pain from not being understood.

i do not want to know my pulse right now i got a good idea somewhere above the 100s with is where it normaly is 109 last i checked it has to be higher right now.

god i want to hell at him and tear him apart till he's in the same situation as me anger building inside of you with nowhere for it to go.

and the pain i have from my normal anzity is getting worse.

what do i do with stored anger and how do i tame it down so i can lock it back up again or is there other ways of dealing with this.

running, weight training, boxing. you could do running right now.

This sucks.....

You are doing,one positive thing,coming here and venting a little.Although,anger is very frustrating and painful,if it is what you are feeling(and not sadness,which can sometimes be confused with anger)Then,that is a good thing.Let yourself feel the anger.If you have a safe place to walk and yell/talk about why you are angry(like a waalk in the woods),sometimes that can be helpful.When I get angry at work....I walk outside at work to have a cig. and start talking to myself about how "stupid" so and so is,or whatever to get it out of my system.Since,anger,dumps adrinaline into your system(increased heart rate)I also find it helpful to do some thing physical,bike riding and push-ups.I used to keep a journal to write down the things that bothered me and sometimes write poetry about it.

When you feel calmer,you can think of any possible ways to resolve whatever the issue is,maybe writting your friend a "calm" logical letter about what is frustrating you and hopefully clear up any misunderstandings.I have found that sometimes when my friends have done something to piss me off it was because I had done something to make them upset,but was totally unaware of it!!!Sometimes they are just being "jerks" because they are having a hard time in their own lives and dont know how to direct their own anger(at someone else)or,they just dont know "how" to be in a friendship and are unconciously trying to sabatoge it(I have done this countless times)

I am sorry your family cant be more supportive...some people just dont know how....When I would try to tell my mom about some one at school who had "pissed me off"....she made a big ddeal about my "swearing" and didnt address the problem it self....or...told me how it was probably my fault...or...
Told me I was being "holier then thou" to say anything negative about others..or...told me I was just being "negative" and should stop dwelling on it...I eventually learned not to talk to my mom....

it's kinda anger, saddness, jealously, basicly every bad emotion.
i'm not sure how to get this all out and since most are recuring problems that happen often even if i get it out one time it will just get thrown back at me.

exersizeing don't seem to help much and i'm at the point where i want to cause pain wether it be mental or physical, but i'm to much of a tame, weak person that i will never lash out at anyone beyond words.

i have a picture idea in mind for nap i want to make it and show it to him.

the pic would be of xem or someone sitting on his grave stone stabbing a darth maul-like weapon into the ground and saying "just making sure he's dead." i was thinking of having unknown dressed as my trojan to be all symbolike and stuff.
probably not a good idea but i would make me feel so good and him knowing the anger that burns inisde me that i somehow manage to tack down just enough to not tell him exactly what i think.

unfortunately he is still alive.

i got tons more things i'm anger about but this is one of the biggest, mainly because i see his name everywhere and i now hate the company with a passion.

this is what i want to say to him and allmost did but it would start a flame war because i did not even try to be remotly nice about it.

napster's memory is really bad or something because i was never in respect i was in evil killaz only i remeber cause i was shocked at the amount of people in it and i was kicked like a week or less BEFORE respect was made i know because i feel that the name was direct shot to me.

i found out through the grape vine though that the old name was just hated.

but the first bashing section i went through that day alone was hell to me and i don't give a it's game crap, because i am a real person with emotions and i can get hurt like everyone else and my down spells i get often made it 10x worse. it took me several days before i could even trust anyone else, it wasn't even being kicked that bothered me it was that i could not talk to the only people in the guild that were decent with me, because i was made an outcast basicly.

and as i write this the rage builds and builds and i want to cause pain of any kind that i possibly could.

and the rage will never disapate not if i see your god-forsaken name all over the internet, which i consider copy-right infringement anyway, at least i came up with some origanl names.

narcore
torch burner
sky rista

if your reading this don't answer or i will tear you apart till you feel the pain i have from this built up anger that makes my heart beat faster to the point of a burning pain, i want you to suffer as i do only 10x worse.

there is plenty more i want to say that i could pull from the darkest places of my heart.

sorry to the admins but this is getting unbearable.

You must release it, you should know your anger can't hurt most of us on here. I've held mine in for over 6 months and really hurt probably the one person that could actually tolerate me, being alone is fine, but being alone because you couldn't release your rage is horrible.

Something angers me, I hold it in and than I eat. That won't happen much longer. I'm learning how to express my feelings with help from some of my friends, and I'll be buying the good food to crunch on, when I start my Life of Freedom, and not crisps, pretzles and bagged nachos.

So, where is this "dispute" occurring?

(I use quotes, as a dispute implies a two-sided argument, whereas you, Jetfox, are being battered down.

And I would love a crusading career for battered women.... )

this dispute started on an online game about a year ago, but i posted something on the forums and i wasn't even attacking him with the exception of one setence about wether someone took up the bounty that i had placed.

but that is not what the fight was about, the fight was that he couldn't handle that i was so serious on the game. i personally have no idea what i even said that ticked him off in the first place.

but as far as what he said it was because i was dramatic, serious, and i took to many things seriously. so basicly it's like saying i hate your personality change it, because that is my personality it's just who i am.

here's the forum that i posted ignore some of the replys because i wasn't to well known in the game being i didn't talk much and those comments didn't bother me.

http://bbs.conqueronline.com/showthread ... did=278130
napster should be easy to find he has the logo as his avatar, he's the one that i am anger with. also i was never in his guild respect nor did i place a second bounty on his head.

Bugger. When is that forum accepting anonymous posts?

He seems damned set on giving you hell...

And he's Swedish too, damn.

They seem like tenacious little bastards, despite their neutrality.

Hey, Litigious, you got a relative called "Nappy"?

Only he may need a nappy once I'm done with him, ha ha ha.

If I can find him...

i don't think i've ever seen a forum accepting anonymous posts so i'm not sure if this one will.

neutrality doesn't seem like he's neutral to me.

i hope your talking to someone else cause i have no idea what Litigious is. ^^;

go right ahead bury him.

i'd let you on my profile on that forum but he might have me blocked, he tends to do that alot he ignores me so he won't have to deal with me. but he should know that the fight should not be left unresulved because it eats at you. [well some people at least and that is my personal take on the situation]

come on, turn all that anger and rage into a demon,
then unlock the devil inside you,
get even, it will make you feel alive and much better.
listening to all those councilors and others tell you things,
it's all just to get you to bury it all the more deep inside you,
to mask it with other things,
to drive you nuts untill you tell them what they want to hear,
so they do not have to put up with it in their world,
come on, open that door,
let out the devil inside.

to Quatermass:

oh so you weren't talking to me. it seems to me now that these swedish people are pains to begin with. i'm not sure if this napster that is my enemy is that person's relative though but he did tell me that he programed computers.

to aspergian_mutant:

yeah i'd love to do that but if i went on a rampage and i have before i've only gotten yelled at or punished for it so it's like i have to keep it bottled up or else.

if i get my own place i might go out "on the prowl" at least once a week.

note: on the prowl is a fanfic.

My brother has some programming skills but as far as I know he's never been on any message board.

good, more power to you.