Handling an enemy

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Leaving it alone is not an option, so if your answer is "ignore him", "keep walking" or anything along those lines, just go away.

Sometimes by himself, and sometimes with one or 2 or 3 other people. Impossible to predict which one of the above will happen. just keep those in mind. If possible, state your answer(s) with how you would handle each (when he would be by himself, when he would be with others)

Years of low self confidence, never fighting back, and being stepped on. How would you handle it after becoming mentally and physically augmented? (though, still living in fear and anxiety due to implicit memory or just being afraid of the unknown. confidence is slightly higher than it used to be, though.)

(read poll before reading here on)
A) A simple message, with a possible running into the street cops, though the most effective message to send fear into the enemy. Running away from the police for being wrongly blamed is possible.
B) Another simple message
C) A message that can be defended by the law, though the least feared.

Okay well ive been bullied badly my whole life.
I usually use reverse psychology on them, make them dig their own grave and when they realise state "exactly" in a cool level headed tone and walk off not looking back at them and doing it as straight and up confidence as i can.

it leaves them thinking... n scares them a lill ^^

I would give it right back to him verbally. Find the weak spot and zero in on it. Make him feel like crap. Goad him into hitting me by saying things without daring him to hit me, because that would have my case thrown out. Then when he does, I'd call the cops and have him arrested for assault and press charges fully, then possibly sue him for damages in a civil suit.

However, I am a 47 year old lady, and not at all strong, although back in the day I was in quite a few fights. Now however, the law would do all my dirty work for me. That would be the smart thing for me to do, because there is a good chance that I'd never be able to take him.

If I were a man, - and didn't mind the arrest which would probably shortly follow - I'd say things to him to make him smart off at me and throw the first punch then I'd proceed to beat the living crap out of him. And possibly take his watch or something just to be mean, but throw it away or give it to a bum right afterwards. Just because I could. I'd be the bully to him and let him see how it feels.

But me personally? Yeah, I'd hurt his feelings really bad then send him to jail.

I generally keep walking.

It keeps me from being the one to get in trouble. Used to happen on the few occasions I stood up for myself as a kid.

It doesn't do anything to stop the bullies, or much for my self-respect.

But it's what I do. I generally find that standing up to the bullies just gets more of them beating on you harder.

Keeping your head down and your mouth shut, on the other hand, helps you escape notice in the first place.

In other words, if you want to live your life as a quivering prey species, take my advice. You will live in abject terror, but you will live. If you think you have a better idea-- run with it, and let me know how it works out for you.

I found quite the opposite to be true, but I guess it depends on the bully type. For me, it was a group of students from another class, who used to pick on me during phys-ed, and the teacher never saw anything, so I was on my own. One day, out of nowhere, when they were at it again, I picked the one I identified as their leader, hit him straight across the face with a single punch, and it was settled for good. They ignored me completely from this day forth, probably because I am not a yelling, raging angry guy, I am the stone cold angry type, that, according to the only friend that has ever seen me like this, said that I had such an empty, determined look on my face that for one moment he truly feared I was going to kill the guy I was mad about, so that contributes I guess. I think that if you lose your cool and show everyone how enraged and scared you are, they will exploit your "weakness" by keep picking on you. As with dangerous situations with bully-type people you just meet on the street, not looking and just walking by is the way to go, as I don't risk getting into trouble over giving anyone a look he might find offensive.

I agree that it depends on the bully. There have been a couple times where I attempted to stand up for myself and it only escalated their bullying, I in turn as a teen cultivated a more fearsome image by hanging out with the "wrong crowd" aka the burnouts, and I used to tote around books like the Satanic bible and wear all black,etc. It worked to a degree (this was the early 80's). I rationalized it like the harmless snake that looks and acts venomous. On the other hand, neighborhood "friends" used to ambush me as they thought it was funny to watch me get beat up by a younger kid. I was 12 and they used to stage fights between me and a 9 year old. One time I snapped. He started bullying me and hitting me when I suddenly hit back. He looked shocked, then sscreamed with his fists up as children do, "I'm King kong!". I grabbed his head by the ears and said "I'm Godzilla!" And I spat in his face. I then bit him on his cheeks, I nearly tore his ears off as I held his head then I headbutted him, giving him a bloody nose and fat lip. This particular boy had beaten me up several times before and terrorized me in front of his friends. Something snapped that day. 30 years later he still gives me a wide berth.

One good thing about being middle aged, is that you're not expected to hit people. I'd certainly never hit someone first, and depending on the situation, probably not hit back. I'd want to hit back, but even if it's someone I knew I could take, I'd try not to because if I hit back it's hard to charge them with assault. A criminal record is worse than a a** beating. I'd much rather give them the former, because it will follow them for life. Black eyes and bruises heal.

If I were in a situation where there was no help around, and if I didn't fight back I'd likely be hurt really bad, then of course I would hit back.

However, I am small and frail looking, although tall. If someone saw someone hitting me, I'm sure they would come to my defense. It would look like an older lady being beat up by someone. That wouldn't go over good in court at all.

The best way to kill something is to ignore it.
Completely and utterly as though it - or he/she never existed. Takes a lot of effort on your part, but it works.
If someone is physically assaulting you then call the cops and get a restraining order.

D) The only real enemy I have is a guy who used to be my best freind and one day just decided to turn on me generally I'd just leave the area as soon as I see him because I really don't want a prison sentance for murder as I usually end up coming close to the point of me not being able to control myself at just the sight of the guy.

I picked C. I haven't had to do this in a while, but typically the thing I did to get the guy to hit first was to actually tease him about the thing he said, like repeat it in a mocking tone of voice and make fun of little mistakes in the wording of the insult and compare him to a bully of a much younger age/call him immature. I helps that I've learned to fake any tone of voice by muscle control so I can sound confident contemptuous and mocking even when I'm really scared and hurt with a little practice.

It's more satisfying to get him to start the fight this way, because you can just keep teasing him about hitting you and if you win the fight he's really extra humiliated. I think it's actually a better message than A or B. Bonus points if you win the fight by grabbing his punches or something similarly patronizing.

This took years of practicing in the mirror to get right.

If you think you could actually beat him down, then the next time he physically lays a hand on you you might consider clocking him without warning. If he's with other people you might get beat somewhat that one time, but it probably won't happen in the future.

Why would you "bait" someone into fighting? If you're worried about the psychology of fighting you're going to get your ass kicked. If you're worried in advance about having to talk your way out of legal trouble for doing so, you will probably also get your ass kicked. Fighting is caveman s**t and it needs to be approached as such, or not at all.

If you retaliate physically they will too and you'll end up with everybody hurt and nothing settled. Study them; learn their weaknesses. When they insult you, insult them back in kind - show them with your body posture and gestures that you are physically a match. You probably have a lot of pent up emotion relating to past experiences with them - put them out of your mind. The more you think about a memory, the more power you give it and the more it effects your actions. Put the past out of your mind and show them with your behavior that you are not as afraid of them as you were. They may become less interested in targeting you.

Also, try "divide and conquer." If you come across one of the bully's associates on his own, initiate an interaction and show him your attitude has changed.

Gather intel on the bully, then use it against him or her. Every bully has a secret that he or she is trying to hide. Learn that secret and use it in the most socially devastating manner possible.