This last year has been rough for me.

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I've spent probably 15 days (or 3 hospital stays) of this last year in mental hospitals for depression also being diagnosed as bipolar.
Worked in the same sh***y stressful child's job. (Pushing carts for Meijer). Lost friends due to my depression causing me to be paranoid and act like an as*hole. Maybe I should of killed myself when I had the chance.

I keep having thoughts about my funeral after I killed myself and who would come. I see a lot of people actually. Everyone I work with, everyone from school, all my friends, and family. It really seems like a lot of people. Each one of those people is a reason to live, but even with them it still doesn't seem worth it.

All those people you saw coming to your funeral, are a reason to live for because they are the people that care about you deeply. I'm sure you have probably tried this before, but try talk to the people you are closest to about your feelings and they might be able to help.

Try not to think about suicide..Let 2012 be a fresh start for you, where you give your life a new chance. Maybe find a different job or try a new hobby and join a club or take up some volunteering work