A rant with bad words in it

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If cussing offends you, stop reading now. You have been warned.

I had a melt down last night. It's been coming on for over a week and I've been doing everything in my power to avoid it. Well finally it was the last straw and I had one. I apologized afterward, like I usually do. I only have two or three a year now, but I yelled at my husband during this. Apparantly I hurt his little feelings and, in true idiot fashion, he overreacted and wants a divorce.

Good G*ddamn riddance to him is what I say! Here is why!

First off, he's a drunk. Second off he loses every job he gets for laying out of work on Monday mornings cause he's hungover. He's never emotionally supportive. He's a coward when it comes to standing up to anybody except me. He tried to put his hands on me before, until I got sick of that and kicked the crap out of him so they thought at work that he had been in a car wreck and he never tried that again.

He lies, he's cheated many times, he spends all the money on booze and weed.

I may not be gorgeous, but I can do a hell of a lot better than him! Twenty five years wasted with that piece of s**t! The only good thing that came of it is my kids.

He thinks he will get the house. Nooooo, I talked to a lawyer before. Last summer when we almost divorced because he was being a drunk bum and wouldn't work. I'll get everything. The house, all the money he makes pretty much for child support, and because we had made a mutual decision that I would be a housewife and have no income, I'll get alimony. He's f****d but good now. Cause I'm really going through with this. His mother hates me and will GLADLY pay for my divorce lawyer, but her feeble little mind won't comprehend how I'll take her precious son to the cleaners. I'll also get half his inheritance and that's HUGE.

He actually could have helped me stave off the meltdown. I had TOLD HIM I was close to one and I needed to just talk about the stressors. I TOLD HIM I wasn't asking him to solve anything but just to listen and give me emotional support. Nooooo, dumbass can't even do that.

Our friend Frank is our age and recently divorced his wife. His wife put up with a LOT out of him, because he's as big a drunk as my husband is. Frank got remarried then flaked out on that new wife after getting back from the middle east where he was deployed and shot at her a couple of times so she left him. He thinks that if Frank could get remarried so could he. He's wrong. Frank got remarried cause he actually works and brings home the big bucks, and my best friend Angie has slept with him and said he's hung. My husband is decidedly NOT. So no, he won't get remarried. He won't even get a date with his drunk ass.

Yes, I'm being mean because it's TIME for me to be mean if he's gonna be such a little b***h about this. He wants a divorce, I'll give him one. I'm SICK TO f*****g DEATH of his threatening divorce every time he gets his little panties in a wad. I'm calling his bluff now, and it will NOT be pretty.

I also suspect that he might have latent homosexual tendancies because of some of the things he wants me to do to him in bed. Yes, that may have been TMI, but I don't care. I dearly love gay men and am a huge supporter of gay rights, I just don't want my husband to be one. I'm telling his brother about that. I also have the pictures I'm going to give to the lawyer. Let that Motherf***er take this s**t to trial! Just let him! He's gonna lose so goddamn bad!

So, thats my rant. But the good news is this year I finally get something I can actually use for Christmas. A f*****g divorce!

Sorry for the bad language. If I need to go back and edit it out, please tell me and I will. I thought it was ok because I've seen worse here.

I'm REALLY angry at the moment.

Are you not the bigger idiot for staying with him as long as you have?

I probably am. Love makes you do stupid things. I'll probably always love him, but I'm DONE with him now. And he has no idea of the amount of hell that's about to rain down on him from me.

I suspect that the olive oil cant be considered virgin anymore, since god knows it's heated way over the limit.

Sounds like you indeed should leave him, but don't push him too the extent that he goes and troughs himself of a bridge or anything. That wont do you anything good either.

He's too much of a coward to throw himself off a bridge. He will just quit his job and go live with his mother. She's loaded. He will do what his brother is doing and lay around drunk and stoned all day long there at her house.

Even if he did jump off a bridge, I got a half million dollar life insurance policy on him. I got that because when he actually does work, he has a dangerous job. I don't think they pay for suicide though.

I wonder if they pay for murder? Just kidding, I won't kill him, my kids love him.

Tonight is gonna be so not fun. He's already drinking and being obnoxious. I will say this though, if he puts his hands on me tonight, I ain't holding back. The last time I hit him back they thought at work that he had been in a car wreck. This time the SOB will go in the hospital. But, I'll be damn sure to let him get a few good licks in first so it's obvious self defense. He's never learned to fight and he hits like a girl. I will f*** him up if he does that tonight, in this mood that I'm in. Not to the point of life threatening or anything like that, I'm still stupid enough to love him enough not to do it that bad, but I will truly f*** him up. I do NOT hit like a girl, and I did learn to fight in my younger days.

This is the haven, and calling her an idiot does not help. A wife and mother cannot just pick up and leave a marriage. Have you ever been married? Ever have kids, hmm? It ain't easy!

He has a point Hartz, but I appreciate you having my back there. I should have left him long ago. I did not. I've put up with major BS that most women wouldn't put up with.

I did not take it personally, I took it as an anylitical view of the situation. I think I misspelled anylitical. In fact I'm sure I did, but I can't think right now to spell it right.

Anyway, I agree that I should have left long ago. It's just that one hope that things will change or get better or something. I held out as long as I could. I was a good wife to him. I'd get up before he did in the mornings and bring him coffee when he got out of bed. I'd make him a lunch, fresh in the morning to take to work. With a fresh biscuit with egg and sausage on it for break. When he came home, supper would be on the table. He never had to ask for anything. I rarely said no to sex. I'd be dressed with my hair done and makeup on when he came home from work. The house was spotless. He had it made. I did one thing wrong the entire time we were married, but I won't tell it here and I'll only tell one person on here because she is a friend and I'll tell her in private PM's. He doesn't know about it.

He will never find anybody who will put up with his s*** like I did. Ever. Especially one who took care of all the problems for him like I did. Here is an example. Once he got a job at this one company in Tarrant City. I was driving him to work and picking him up at the time. This was a Friday and the checks were late. He made some smart a** remark about it to the cousin of the owner of the shop. The guy punched him and knocked him to the ground. I got out of the van with a sheetrock knife and said "you ever put your hands on my man again, I'll gut you like a deer". He didn't even have to fight other men with me around, because I had his back. He didn't have to deal with his mother because I could talk to her for him. I can do that fake nice stuff and explain situations to her in a nice way and sit there and listen to her lectures. I've lied to cops for him, I've bailed him out of jail, I've lied on the freaking stand even to save his a** from problems. He won't find that anywhere again, I gaurandamntee you that!

All I've ever asked of him is to keep a steady job and give me some semblance of emotional support. He's like a freaking vulcan. No emotions. I understand that and it's ok if he doesn't reciprocate the way I want. He could at least turn the damn tv off and listen though. He won't.

I am not all that pretty. I do have three different men who have money and two of them are good looking who have both said they would love to date me. That all happened last summer. The one that's not good looking is Protestant though and a minister. I'm Catholic. That wouldn't work. The one I may possibly date is our friend Frank who even though he's a drunk, he makes a lot of money and he's deployed most of the time so I would rarely have to deal with him. He's very good looking and his parents are from Panama so he's hispanic, although he was raised in backwoods Louisiana, so he's also Southern. The worst thing he's ever done was shoot at that second ex wife of his, and that doesn't scare me, cause a drunk can't hit a target, and he only gets the guns out when he's drinking. Otherwise he's nice. He was my younger son's baseball coach.

I have no working skills. I'd have to be a housewife. Luckily Southern men want that so I won't have a problem finding one.

But I agree with the poster who said that. I seriously was an idiot for staying as long as I did.

That sounds like you're blaming the victim.

I am nobody's victim. I chose to stay with him and try. I have options and I may very well use them.

The problem with the whole "blaming the victim" thing is that victims blame others and take no responsibility. It sounds like he is the victim, and not due to a matter of who's right and who's wrong. Victims often stay that way because they either don't know how to fix the problem or they want someone else to.

I'm glad you're finally getting out. And no, I do not fault you for staying with him as long as you did. Getting out of these kinds of relationships, especially when kids are involved, is not an easy task.

I wish you and your kids all the best. When it comes to dating again...well, just be careful (I'm sure you know that).

Take care.

How the hell and in what f****d up world is that SOB the "victim"???????????

I'm going to interject really quickly, here. Might we want to think about moving this to Members Only due to the slightly incriminating content? Only if you go to court I'm concerned this might be found and used against you somehow.

I don't fault you at all, as I was in a similar marriage, and I have to admit I cringed at the name Frank as that's what my ex-husband's name was. He said in the last fight we had that he wanted a divorce, but then later retracted it, but I still called his bluff and filed the papers myself. That was actually the scariest part because he became so angry that I got a restraining order against him. That was because he was upset that I was actually taking back control instead of him being able to control me. One thing I can say is that getting that divorce was still the best thing I've done, and I'm also glad my Asperger's diagnosis wasn't until a few years after it was finalized, as my ex would have used that against me if he could have.

One reason I don't fault you for staying as long as you did was that I saw that my ex was emotionally abusive, but I married him anyway and stayed with him for 10 months. If anyone had tried to talk me out of marrying him, I would have cut off contact with them, which is what my ex would have preferred. My ex hated my family, and even my therapist since he realized that she would help me realize that he was abusive. I'm just fortunate that he agreed to sign the papers, since the resulting court battle if he fought it, would have turned really nasty. The reason why I called his bluff and filed is that if he wanted the divorce himself, he never would have bothered to file the papers himself, so we probably would have been legally married but separated even now. He also refused to work as he wanted his mommy to support him, so he couldn't have afforded the fees anyway. Either way, I'm just happy he's out of my life, and it will be 9 years next month that my freedom was finally granted in the decree being final. I still have a little celebration to mark the occasion.

I just mean that if you were a victim, you wouldn't take responsibility. (responsibility meaning that you actually want to fix the problem) I guess what I'm saying is that being a victim is more of a mentality and less of a situation.

Ah ok. I thought you were saying he was a victim of me, and I got slightly ticked over that. I see what you are saying though.

If a certain person wasn't doing weekends in jail, I'd be out of here right now!