Are people laughing at me?

Post Reply New Topic

I know I keep going on about this but I haven't quite got to the point about people laughing at me yet. In the last few weeks I've become more hypersensitive to laughter from other people out in the street, and I have automatic thoughts in my head that they are laughing directly at me for some reason. I try to tell myself that they can't be laughing at me because I'm not doing anything weird or looking unusual, and that surely people have got better things to laugh at than me, and that they are not 10 years old any more. I also know I have self-awareness to know how to stay ''cool'', and I dress presentably and stylish (I'm into fashion anyway) and I don't do unusual things like flap my hands and I know I don't do stims subconsciously (I don't stim anyway). And nobody gets embarrassed being with me, and I know that my mum would say if I was looking embarrassing because I trust her. Also my best friend would aswell because she knows my fear of humiliation. But so far she always says how nice I look, and I know she means it because she's a true friend (please don't imply that she is lying just because she is NT - NTs don't all lie when it comes to helping).

But to me, the irrational thoughts I get seem so real, even though I admit that they're irrational, I still can't seem to convince myself for sure that they're not laughing at me. It doesn't matter how much I ignore them or tell myself that I am another normal-looking person, self doubt still seems to creep in my mind, and I go home feeling upset and reluctant to go out again. And I think of reasons why they wouldn't be laughing at me - then I think of all these reasons as to how they could be laughing at me, and that's where self-doubt takes over. I try to act naturally too, I don't do things all ''spastically'', and I don't do things all retarded-like either. I know myself that I'm pretty cool, but I also know that I'm not perfect, but then nobody is. Everybody's different shapes and sizes, so I don't see why I should be singled out and ridiculed when I can easily make myself blend into the background.

Do these really sound like irrational thoughts? I know I do have Social Anxiety because I've looked up a lot about it on the internet and every piece of information about it describes me perfectly, so I was wondering if this was normal for people who suffer with Social Anxiety, thinking that every bit of laughter is aimed at me and that everybody's watching me and observing my every move and making me feel like I am not in disguise. It's just that being a person who is ''a person who gets laughed at'' somehow disturbs me and makes me feel inadequate, and it is not easy to untangle these irrational thoughts and emotions because they just seem so real.

Textbook lack of confidence.

Social Anxiety is more common than you think, whether you're NT or aspie. I haven't met you before and I've never hung out with you before but by reading your other posts on similar topics to this I can see that you are a very self aware person who probably does not do anything to get other peoples attention. I know the stereotype 'you are aspie so do you probably do something weird what you don't know about' is thrown around a lot on this discussion forum, but even as a NT I know that isn't necessarily true and doesn't apply to all people on the spectrum and it's not a very helpful thing to be told.
I am a young female NT myself, but I know that when I am with my mates I wouldn't go targeting some random person who aren't exactly doing anything to laugh about. I I am passed that sort of behaviour,and I assume so are most other people.

I know irrational thoughts can feel overwhelming and get so intense that you end up believing that people target you all the time, but I am 100% positive that they don't and they probablly don't even notice your there. Even if you do give off vibes or body language or something, its more than likely minor and unnoticable if you're a good person with good intentions and are just going about your business like everybody else, and that people see that you are in the street or the supermarket for a reason and that your not intending to do anything to draw attention to yourself, so people soon forget about you and just carry on going about their business just like you are. And also heres another fact you might want to know is people are usually worrying more how they look themselves than wht you are doing.

Also with the staring, 9 times out of 10 people who look most likely arent thinking anything. I'v been told that. And sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts and may be looking towards somebody which might make it look like I'm staring and then when they move their head to see if I am staring it's a natural response to look back at them although I wasn't actually looking at them before it was only when they moved. It doesn't just apply to mankind it also applies to the animal kingdom too. I have a dog and when I take him out for a walk he alway stares at other dogs to check them out, some react and some don't, some ignore and others may bark back or sniff. So it goes the same with people, we do look at eachother and check eachother out but it doesn't mean we are staring or intending to laugh at one another.

Hope this helps.

certainly sounds like social anxiety. don't let it make you stay inside. that will only make it worse. keep reminding yourself of the reality that you don't stand out enough to make people laugh at you.

What everyone already said: seconded.

To add: if you were laughed at often when you were younger, then this kind of reaction makes perfect sense--it's what you expect, so it's what you're looking for and, therefore, "find", whether or not it's true.

I'm not sure if correlating this to a type of PTSD makes sense (apologies to anyone with PTSD I may have offended by saying this--I do not mean to trivialize what you experience every day) but it seems similar. Traumatic experiences in the past make anything that remotely RESEMBLE those same experiences in the present BE those experiences, at least in your mind.

Does that make sense?

Anyway, it's been my experience that most people are far too self-absorbed to really care too much about what others may be doing.

Your description completely describes me, too. Before everything else I have, I knew I had social anxiety and what you wrote is absolutely social anxiety as I experience it. A wonderful doc who has since left town put me on Lexapro and it did wonders for me. I was like a new person! I eventually had to have Wellbutrin added because of some way the Lexapro works...Wellbutrin works in some way that compliments it. I responded better to the meds, and more quickly, than anyone should expect to. I would suggest you consider meds, but I would go to a psychiatrist if I had to do it over again, because they know so much more than your typical family doc. Talk therapy is helpful too. I hope it helps you to know that there is someone who knows what you're going through.