What is all this worrying really for?

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I am such an anxious person, but sometimes I think (although it doesn't change the way I look at things), what's the point in worrying? Who cares what a few people think of me? We will all be dead one day, and if I don't just stop worrying and have fun then I don't think I ever will have fun.

On Bornfire Night (but in the day) I spent the day with some friends, and they asked me to stay tonight to see the fireworks and get the later bus home (it was a mild night for November). But I found myself saying no because I already started getting palpitations at the thought of waiting around in the bus-station in the dark for the bus, and what if it's late, and what if there are loads of youths about, and what if the bus is crowded with youths, and what if.......? But really, what was the point in worrying? For the first time in my life I was being included by my mates, but I put my fears first and just had to tell them that I prefer getting the 3 o'clock bus home before it got dark, simply because I feel comfortable getting the buses at that time because I always do. But so what if I have to wait around in the dark? The youths probably won't take any notice of me in the dark because you're more likely to be seen better in broad daylight. And so what if the bus is late? Just stand and wait, I'm sure other people will be waiting too and they will be getting fed up too. And so what if youths pile on the bus? There won't be that many, and they'll probably all go and sit at the back and I can sit at the front.

But somehow things just frighten me so much and I seem to find it hard to say ''so what'', even though I can easily say it, I can't easily do it. I think the worst all the time. I think there are people out to get me. I've learnt that I give off the wrong vibes all the time and so any anggressive or abusive youths out there will attack me because of my nervous impressions, even though I try hard not to look nervous or even feel nervous.

Anyone else feel like this? Do you know that you shouldn't get as anxious as you do, and do you wonder what all this worrying in the world is really for, but get anxious anyway when it comes down to it?

Joe, since you are the one on the scene, something like this would have to be your judgment call. Since I assume you're talking about a big city like London, you are right to be concerned for your safety, though this can be taken too far.

It is certainly possible to worry too much. But it is also possible to worry too little. Discretion is indeed the better part of valor. This is especially true in a place where you're not allowed to carry firearms for self-defense.

Yes, since the homicide rate is so much lower in places were every idiot carries around a gun (IRONY ALERT). The only thing bringing a gun would do for you, except making you feel like a big cool old sheriff, is making it tens of times more likely you'll get shot yourself. Even if you had dropped me off some place and knew for a fact that I would be robbed I'd still turn down an offer to bring a firearm. Without it I would most likely lose all my valuables and maybe take a beating. With it I would risk getting shot and lose my life. But truth be told I'm a fan of eugenics so if you idiots could just shoot each other and keep us more intelligent out of it, I guess thats ok.

We're not allowed to carry weapons where I come from. If anybody gets found out with a knife or a gun or any other firearms, they get arrested or at least questioned and searched.

I agree that this is your own judgment call. Realistically, something could happen even in broad daylight (a conclusion I came to myself a long time ago).

I'd say that the fact you are even thinking this is a huge step. Being able to act on it may take some time, but when you start to realize INTELLECTUALLY that you are probably worrying over nothing, that's saying a lot (some people don't even get that far).

In this particular situation, would your friends have kept an eye on you or just left you to your own devices? Dunnyveg does have a point--there is a balance between "too worried" and "too blase" that is called "healthy caution."

Yep. Congratulations on being manageably outside your comfort zone. This sounds flippant, but I mean it, really. Bravery comes in all sizes and forms, and even that you're looking at this and are considering how to overcome it is plenty brave.



I definitely empathise with this. My experiences growing up as a minority in America told me, "If there's one thing worse than being Asian in America, it's being a weak Asian in America." The things I did to cope, then adapt, to my living conditions probably shaped me in terrible ways though.