Getting worse with age?

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I notice my mood just gets worse by the day (and yes I'm medicated.) The past couple days, I've turned off the TV when my mom had on Good Morning America because I couldn't take its phoniness and all the pop culture talk. It doesn't take much to put me in a bad mood.

I'd say I hate most things in general. Especially now that my sex drive is under control and I don't have any desire to be with a woman sexually, I have no goals and am basically just waiting for the day I die.

This isn't an act btw. I really want out. I was a mistake. No one else in my family has autism or anything close and I have emotional problem upon emotional problem. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even the problem or I'm just incompatible with society since I'm not a sheep.

I just wish SOMETHING would happen...something big. The world can't continue the way it does forever, can it?

Don't control your sex drive, that's unnatural and will lead to suicidal ideation.

It sounds like you're conflicted between being who you are, and who you think the world wants you to be.
Accepting yourself "flaws" and all is hard, but I think it's worth striving for. You don't know what your purpose in life could be yet.

This is a really good article

http://www.shiftjournal.com/2011/12/28/anatomy-of-an-autistic-iiiv/

I was suicidal before I was controlling it as well.

I have an interest in women, just not in sex. If I were happier, and could find someone I was attracted to with the same goals as myself (no kids, quiet country lifestyle) I would date her and would be interested in kissing/touching etc. . Just have no interest in intercourse.

I guess I just have to find a way to be miserable but functioning. Since I'm not going to end it all, and since I have a fear of death as far as fear of the unknown, thinking about it is pointless. I have to find a way to just be one of those people that isn't happy but gets through day to day life.