when I want things to go a certain way and they don't.....

Post Reply New Topic

This is an Aspie thing, from what I have read. I get fixated on things going a certain way in a day or with regard to a certain situation. They're usually not earth-shattering thing--to other people at least--but they're bothersome to me. I was on a high earlier today, then little things didn't go the way I wanted to, and now I'm blue.

I think I understand what you are saying. I want people to do what they say they will do, and to tell me what day we are going to certain places. It was particularly hard over the holidays because I spent it with 7 other relatives, and trying to get them all to commit to a time and place for any activity was hard. I thought that I had reasonably low expectations for our activities (all I really wanted to do was see a 3D movie or see the Muppets movie again, but no one else was interested so we did the things they wanted to do.)

It can be even smaller things, like my aunt emailed us two lists of groceries that she wanted someone to buy for her family before they arrived at my other aunt's house, and it was a very unorganized list with very specific brands and items for their diets, so I threw all of it into a little document with a table with columns and rows and sorted it by sections of the grocery store so it would be really really easy to pick everything up (And my mother had volunteered me to pick out the items when we went to the store). But when I got there, my aunt had already shopped for half the list and it was just annoying to me because I had a very good plan worked out and was prepared to carry it out.

anyway, feel better

Frieslander, I understand. I had a friend come over this afternoon and help me work on some things that would've been dangerous for me to have done alone: dismantling an old shed that was in an advance state of collapse. While he was very nice to help me, I did find it disconcerting that he did things differently than I would have. Under the circumstances, I am still appreciative, even tough part of me doesn't feel that way. I've always worked best alone, but some things require help.

I think the existential dilemma for we aspies is that we need people more than we want them.

I felt that way today, too. Like you, it bums me out when even the little things go the other way.
As they say, the best laid plans of mice and men...

However, tomorrow is another day, and all I can do is hope that it'll be better than today was.

Happy New Year!

Rob

I know what you mean.
I was expecting to see my psychiatrist on 5/1, but can't now as he's ill. It's taken me 2 days to sort out in my head that I can cope without seeing him and to re-plan what I'm going to do in the meanwhile.

5/1?

For me yesterday, though, it was that I was expecting (without realizing it much) that my former bryologist advisor at graduate school would get back to me about possible moss IDs of photos I had sent her.

European numbering for the date: January 5th.

I thought that was what it meant, but thought the person was referring to a time in the past.