My mother died last week

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My mother died at about this time last week and the old urge towards self annhilation has returned.

This is not due to her death. This is sad, but natural. Though she did represent one of my few links to the human race.

I always told myself I would not end my life while she was still alive. This is now not a factor. I am at my brothers, he and his wife have made me feel as welcome as s**t in a sandwich. Within 30 mins of arriving he was asking me when I was leaving.

I have until September, when i return to university and not a moment to soon.

Today is my 33rd birthday.

Sorry, just feeling sorry for myself

There, there.

You know, with an artist of your caliber hanging around, you'd think they'd be ecstatic about it. I can just imagine what your photorealistic portrait of them would look like.

I am sorry to hear about your mom. I remember when I lost my mom too.

On a lighter note--happy birthday. And don't annihilate yourself.

I'm sorry for your loss. I understand that she was your link to the outside world - my mum is that to me too. I hope that this doesn't segregate you more. If you didn't harm yourself when she was alive because you cared too much for her then keep that in mind now, she would still want you to be as happy as possible, even if she's not there to watch you any more. Maybe go and speak to a doctor / therapist?

I can completely relate to the "link to the human race" comment. My mother died when I was 24. She was my only consistent link to the human race. My life has been a cold and quiet experience since then. I've lived alone for the past 5 years and I'm growing very tired of it. I can't say I've felt a single moment of genuine happyness since she's been gone. My life has been dull, quiet, and i'm stuck in a low hourly wage job that makes me think about taking the easy way out every day i wake up. At least you're goin to college... doing something that is worth living for. I'm 31